Il Viaggiatore

This is wrong wrong wrong

2007-03-23T16:37:00.000Z

The Last Bit - Part 3

2006-12-26T16:06:00.000Z

Hello! So, the last part of my trip then. How exciting. Are you excited? I am.

So, read and savour because this is the last bit and I don't suppose you'd be interested in articles that tell you about how I got up in the morning and got the train to work and then came home again and did the same thing again for the rest of my life.

Anyway...................

We made it to the South Island which was now pitch black and drove around trying to find somewhere relatively scenic to park our van. Not an easy thing to do in the dark but we managed a spot that seemed to overlook the Sound so we settled for that. When we woke up we found out that we had almost chosen a good spot in that we were overlooking the Sound but we were also overlooking some kind of logging factory so it wasn't quite as scenic as we'd hoped. But we went for a short drive to take in the view anyway which eventually lasted a couple of hours because the scenery was just so fantastic and weather was really nice - not exactly hot but nice and clear giving us a great view over the water. We stopped at the Tennyson Inlet and went for a walk. I was too busy playing with my camera to notice that Cath had wandered off and when I found her again she was soaking her feet in the water. It looked like a good idea so I decided to join her and then quickly changed my mind after dipping a toe in the ice-cold water. Luckily no one else was around to hear my girly screams.

We drove back into Picton to get some lunch and then had a game of crazy golf. Before I tell you the result, I should point out that I was tired and the visibility on the course wasn't quite as good as it could have been and also I think there was something wrong with my club. And probably my golf ball as well. And the atmospheric pressure was a bit unpredictable too. Anyway, the upshot is that Cath won her first ever game of crazy golf and I showed my good character at losing and went in a sulk for the rest of the day.

That afternoon we drove to Blenheim which is in the heart of the New Zealand wine country so we went on a tour of a vineyard where they explained the complex processes they go through to make wine. They told us about how the weather can affect the taste and things so it was all quite interesting.

We planned to drive a little bit to find somewhere to spend the night but everywhere we came across just didn't seem like a good option so we ended up driving for quite a while until we hit a major town called Nelson and we splashed out on a caravan park with unheard of luxuries like showers and electricity. Apart from sharing the park with what appeared to be a rabble of kids on a school trip we enjoyed the peace and quiet and were glad of the rest after the long drive.

The next day we went for our customary walk along the beach before jumping back into the van and driving to our next destination. Nelson Lakes sounds like it should be quite close to Nelson but it was a good long drive away. The journey was worth it though because the scenery was fantastic and the weather was great too - very cold (as I confirmed when I went to the outside toilet at the visitor centre) but crisp and clear. We parked at the Department of Conservation campsite which had electricity but no showers or hot water and went for a walk in the forests around the lake. Cath gave me a lesson about the forest and the birds and why certain types of birds live in the forest and can't be found anywhere else (due to the types of trees that are found there if I remember correctly) and she also told me about the conservation efforts that are going on there. I was impressed, both with Cath's knowledge and also by the hard work that was going on to keep species of birds and trees and fungi going so as to maintain the balance of the forests. If you visit NZ then it's worth knowing this stuff because it makes the trip more interesting. Anyway, we saw parrots called Kaka and there was also a really cool songbird whose name escapes me (either a Tui or a Bellbird) but who sang unlike any other bird I've ever heard.

That night was very cold, and the morning when I got up to the loo was very cold too. The puddles in the car park had all iced up and it was a serious struggle to get out of bed that morning. But once Cath got up and cooked my breakfast whilst I issued executive instructions from the warmth of my bed it was better and we went for another walk in the forest and round the lake. It really was beautiful and we had it pretty much all to ourselves. The cold wasn't fantastic but the fact that there were much fewer visitors in the NZ wintertime really made the trip much more pleasant.

After our walk we drove to Lake Rotoroa for another walk, this time through the forest and up to a pretty waterfall. We saw (heard) more singing birds but no Kaka this time. Cath was disappointed not to see any Kea (another type of parrot I think) since they were also meant to be in the forest. We did however stumble across a Possum - usually they are wary of people but this one seemed to be less scared as we crept up on it and looked at us for a while before scurrying into the bushes. Then it was down to Lake Rotoroa for some lunch and despite the cold weather we still had to contend with blackfly trying to eat us alive - I can't imagine what it must be like in the summertime but the visitors book bore testament to some harrowing stories. Well, 'harrowing' is probably too strong a word given that all that really happened was that some people had been bitten by a fly but in the absence of the killer crocs and stuff that you get in Australia then your sense of perspective changes.

Anyway, we escape with our lives and drove on to Westport stopping at the Buller Gorge for a play on the wire which spans the river. Basically you sit on a chair that's attached to a wire that goes over the river, then they throw you off one side and you hurtle towards the other side, all the while figuring out how you're going to stop before you crash into the rocks that seem to be coming towards you awfully quickly. But somehow you stop and a man stands there with a camera to record the whole awful nightmarish event on film for you.

Once again we found ourselves arriving in the dark at our campsite. I can't actually remember it but I remember the drive seemed to take ages - it was on say, the equivalent of the M4 in the UK but some corners were so tight that the poor old camper van was wobbling round them at 40km/h and some of the hills were so steep that we could barely get up them.

The next morning we drove to a lovely welcoming place called Cape Foulwind (it even sounds lovely) and had breakfast by the cliffs. The weather wasn't great and the waves were starting to crash in but it made for some great photos. We were also pestered by a bird (called a Weka I think) that was very bold and kept creeping up to the van to try and get some food from us. I can't imagine why it might think we had anything to give it but the sight of Cath throwing vast quantities of our limited food stash to the "He's cute!!!" bird did raise an eyebrow or two.

We moved on to the seal colony where seals (New Zealand Fur Seals, to be precise) came in for some shelter from the mighty Pacific Ocean. Looking at the ocean and the massive waves that were crashing into the inlet today, I could see why they wanted to get to dry land. I did have a good chuckle when some huge waves came crashing in and splashed over the seals that were lying on the rocks. Call me childish if you wish - everyone else probably thought it as I pointed and guffawed whilst Cath tried to surreptitiously blend into the background.

After the mornings amusement we had a fantastic drive down the West Coast through some fabulous scenery and sun even came out giving us the chance for some memorable pictures. I had fun blasting my horn at a camper van full of Germans that was holding us up and steadfastly refused to get out of our way. As we passed I indicated to them that there were two of us in the van and I instantly felt better.

We pulled up at a place called Pancake Rocks. I don't know how it got its name but it was one of the highlights of the trip for me. Essentially it was a few strange rock formations out into the sea and as the waves roll in you sometimes get splashes of water coming up through the cracks in the rocks. This simple concept kept Cath and I riveted for 3 hours (even though we only planned on spending 30 minutes there) since the waves and their power was truly mesmerising and the sight of water whooshing up into the air was breathtaking. My words don't do it justice and nor do the multitude of pictures and video that we took but it was fabulous to watch. The only problem is that it's a bit temperamental so you have to be there at the right tide time and you have to be watching the right bit. So Cath would come dashing over to tell me that I just missed a massive eruption and I'd dash back to where she'd been just as a chorus of gasps and oohs and aahs emanated from where I'd been. But I saw enough to leave very happy.

Can you guess what happened next? Generally something to do with it being dark and us driving into some little town somewhere to camp up for the night? Yes, that's right so I won't bore you with any details except to say that it was at the charmless purpose built tourist resort of Franz Joseph.

We got up early the next morning because it was our plan to somehow find somewhere that had a helicopter ride up onto the nearby Franz Joseph Glacier. Our chances of success were low since it depended on the weather being good enough for a helicopter to fly up the glacier and back down (preferably in a controlled manner rather than in a ball of fire) and for there to actually be any spaces on any said helicopter flights. We were lucky however, since we managed to get a ride that was leaving in the next hour and before we knew it we were in a helicopter being ferried up the mountain by our skillful pilot (who was Scottish) and landing on the snow to be met by our guide (apparently attractive but I didn't see it and nor did I pay any attention to his legs which the girls, including my darling girlfriend breathlessly told me were "lovely").

Anyway, this clown fitted us with crampons and then walked us around the glacier which was quite frankly incredible. The glacier is constantly moving (Franz Joseph being one of the few which is actually advancing rather than retreating) so there are always new and interesting ice caves and structures to wander in and squeeze through. It was fantastic and I was glad our moronic guide with his stupid legs was there because I would have been completely lost since it all looked so similar. We even saw some of the massive blocks of ice breaking free and crashing down the mountain. Apparently we were unlikely to get squashed but it was quite scary since these blocks were 20, 30, 40 feet high and it'd probably sting a bit if you were squashed underneath it.

Before long it was time to jump back into the helicopter and fly back to the village. After Pancake rocks the day before it was a real sweet spot of our trip and whilst expensive it was a truly wonderful thing to have done. The only worrying part was when the helicopter pilot lifted us up over a peak and then plunged the helicopter down the other side, leaving our stomachs and a variety of piercing screams far up in the air where we'd just been. If he hadn't been flying the helicopter I'd have strangled him with his headphones.

After a well earned lunch we drove to Gilespies Beach where I managed to completely soak my walking boots and most of my walking trousers after a slightly misguided and misjudged photo attempt on a huge wave as it crashed onto the beach. With my dignity slightly dented we left the beach and drove to Lake Mathieson for a walk (a slightly squelchy walk in my case) around the lake before it got dark. After a brief detour to the Fox Glacier to see the face of a Glacier (and the huge cliffs that it created when it gouged a route through the mountain) and an unsuccessful attempt to help a fellow camper van driver that had managed to reverse off the side of a small drop and beach their van on the side of the road, we drove off once again into the night in search of a place to stay. After we'd exhausted all attempts to find a nice place on the coast we settled on a simple camp site in a place called Haast.

The next day we woke up to some extremely cold and rainy weather, the first bad weather we'd really had on the trip. We drove down to the beach since it was possible to see penguins at certain times of the year but it wasn't to be and so we traced our route back and drove for most of the day in the miserable rain and cold. We stopped for lunch in the memorable setting of a car park and with rain streaming down the windows we cooked our soup and looked out at the sodden landscape. It was like a British camping holiday. We were slightly dreading the rest of the drive because there were signs warning of the Haast Pass and the guide book suggested that it was a tricky route but in fact we passed the Pass so to speak, without noticing it so I like to think that my sublime driving skills made the journey that much more pleasurable.

We arrived in Wanaka and stopped at a place called Puzzling World. I don't quite know how to explain this place but it was basically full of weird illusions and holograms and things. One room was built on a big slope so that you could have strange illusions like pool balls rolling back down the table at you and water draining upwards and things. It was lots of fun and nice to get out of the rain for a bit although it did mean that we couldn't do the outdoor maze (but I did get a good laugh at those that had tried it and were then lost out in the rain). There wasn't much else in Wanaka so we drove on to Queenstown. The signs pointed us in one direction but the map showed us that there was a quicker way if we drove over the hills. In the end it wasn't much quicker but it was certainly much more exciting as we drove up into the clouds and then hurtled down the other side of the hill on the narrow road, skidding round hairpin bends and asking everything of the brakes. Cath frequently screamed but I think it was just from the sheer fun she was having and nothing to do with the fear that was etched into her face (or the fingernail marks that were gouged into the dashboard). Oh how we laughed. Once back on solid ground we drove into a very rainy Queenstown and decided to spend the night somewhere that wasn't a camper van since we were planning to go ski-ing the next day (if the weather was any good) and didn't want to come back to a cold camper van after a days ski-ing.

After much searching and sighing we found a youth hostel that was OK but the weather report for the next day wasn't looking great. We went to get some dinner and decided that we'd wait and see what the weather was like the next day before making a decision. When we woke up it was sunny which was great but almost as quickly the cloud came in and the rain started again so we ended up walking around the town trying to find things to do. Queenstown is the adrenalin capital of the world so there are loads of things to do, but they generally rely on good weather so we were a bit stuck. The jet boat wasn't running because the water level was too high (I didn't quite understand that myself) but a girl gave us some tickets for the gondola so we went up the hill for lovely views into the cloud over Queenstown. We could have got the luge down the hill but that too was closed because of the weather.

However, at the bottom of the hill was our saviour for a few hours because we found an indoor Crazy Golf venue. Now I don't want to sound like I'm making excuses once more but I'm certain that the weather was playing havoc with my usually serene golf skills and I think Cath might have given me a dodgy golf club because once more I was beaten by a girl at crazy golf. I took it well though and after smashing a few windows I was fine and ready to move on.

Thankfully the weather had finally turned and the rain had stopped. The jet boat was running again so we booked ourselves on that. It was lots of fun - I decided that I'd quite like one for myself although I'm not sure where I could zoom around in Reading with it. Lots of people got soaked on the boat but I seemed to have a fairly good spot where I could point and laugh but remain dry. The ski report for the next day was looking good as well so moved into a nicer apartment and got our stuff ready.

The next day was sunnyish but the hills looked very cloudy. We'd made our mind up though so we picked up our ski-ing gear, drove up the mountain stopping half way up to figure out how to put our snow chains on and then progressed up the mountain at walking speed, much to the annoyance of the train of cars behind us. I would have pulled over but the I might not have got going again. Once there I dived out of the van and ran to the slopes, giggling like a giddy 9-year old at Christmas whilst Cath struggled to walk in her ski-ing boots carrying her skis and poles.

We had a good day ski-ing in the clear sky with no injuries and the snow was pretty good too. The NZ approach to pistes is different to Europe. The ski map just seems to be a suggestion and in reality people just ski all over the mountain as they see fit. I joined in and could hear the obscenities from Cath as I went hurtling down some difficult drop (often face first) with no means of escape, expecting Cath to obediently follow. But follow she did and fun we did have.

When we got back to the van my heart sank as I realised I'd left the lights on and the battery was flat. For a moment I thought I might be able to swing the van out from its spot and then roll down the hill but if I got it wrong then I would be blocking the only road out of the resort so I thought better of it and went to find someone to help. I was a bit worried because I didn't have a clue where the battery was to jump start it but some young kid that worked at the resort turned up with jump leads, pulled the battery out from under the seat and got us going in under 5 minutes.

That evening we had dinner in the same restaurant we dined in on the first night because it was so good and the next day we drove to the Bungy jump centre in town. Cath wasn't so sure but she was delighted when I stomped in and booked a jump for an hours time. That way she didn't have to time to think about it and the time she spent hitting me and calling me a stupid boy was kept to a minimum too.

When we arrived at the bungy site I was quite excited and I was excited all the way up until I stood on the ledge and suddenly felt like this was a bad idea. But then I felt a hand on my back ushering us both to the river below and then I remember screaming like a girl. I was quite proud though because I screamed from the top to the bottom whereas Cath screamed from the top, paused for a breath and then continued screaming as we plunged to the rapids below. Thankfully the rope held and we were rescued by two men in a dinghy that I presume worked for the bungy company. Once back in the van we agreed what fun it had been and I spent the next 8 hours reminding Cath that it had been my idea and wasn't I great, to which she heartily agreed and looked at me with dreamy eyes and deep admiration. That's what I remember anyway.

After the bungy jump and a minor detour when I turned left instead of right and got lost for half an hour we drove up to Lake Pukaki in the hope of seeing a nice view of Mount Cook. Unfortunately the weather wasn't great so all we saw was a load of cloud and then a load of cloud reflected in the lake. It was nice to get out of the van and have a walk around the lake though. We continued driving up to Lake Tekapo but the weather was getting worse and soon it started to snow. We stopped at the lake and because we were a bit worried about continuing along the road and through Burkes Pass in the poor weather we ended up staying the night in a camp site at the lake. It was fun though - the snow was quite thick so we went for a walk and threw some snowballs, then came back to the van and built a snowman. We christened him Mr Ernest Hackett. Ernest because we wanted a distinguished name to reflect his distinguished stature and Hackett in homage to the man that invented the bungy jump in Queenstown.

We had a very cold night. By morning, the water tank in the van had frozen and the door that gave us access to the gas had frozen as well. So whilst Cath laid in the warmth of bed I fought my way through the snow and polar bears to the kitchen to get some water and wrestled open the van door to switch the gas on and get a cup of tea. Once we'd finally got sorted I drove the van over to one of the lodges to get some water to fill up the water tank but then I managed to get bogged down in the snow. No matter how hard we tried or in what gear, the van didn't want to go forward. I had a brainwave though and stuck the van in reverse and zoomed back as fast as possible to get up the hill. It worked a treat and it was great fun too. I only crashed into a couple of other caravans as well.

The roads were still icy and slippy but the view was great and the sun was out as well. In a happy frame of mind we drove to Tamaru to get the van repaired since we'd managed to blow a fuse in the water pump trying to get the frozen water out. Once it was fixed we stopped for a bit to go to an aviary and also for me to play on the childrens climbing frame just outside. I managed to get to the top of the kids frame and I reckon Cath was deeply impressed with just how great I was. We drove back to the coast for some lunch next to the sea and I did my customary thing of trying to photograph waves and naturally got my feet wet in the process.

After lunch we drove on to Geraldine (or Monica or whatever other female name I attached to it - I kept getting confused and I'm not very good with names) and then on to Peel Forest where we saw a big tree. It was more exciting than it sounds but there's only so much you can say about a tree so I'm not going to try and convince you. It was good though. There was a tree there that was really big. After the drama and excitment of the big tree we arrived in Methven and spent the night in a camp site. Tragedy struck though when our fan heater packed up and we had to face the thought of a freezing night without heating. Rescue came in the form of the camp site owner though who loaned us one of his heaters and we didn't perish in the cold of the Southern winter.

The next day we were up early to hire more ski gear and go up to the ski resort. Instead of driving this time we took the bus and it was a good move because the road was a bit dodgy in places and I suspect our little van would have struggled to get up the hill. All was going well until the second run of the day when I had a silly little fall but managed to sprain my ankle. It was jolly sore and I came over all dizzy and sweaty so we stopped for lunch early while I moaned and complained a lot. After lunch Cath insisted that we get back on the slopes despite my near fatal injury and we started on the nursery slopes just to see how I was. It was very painful but I could manage OK so we went on the chairlift up to one of the harder runs.

All was going well until I came to get off the lift. I stood up and slid away from the chair but then felt my rucksack pulling me back and I fell on my bum. I'd snagged my rucksack on the chair somehow and it was dragging me round and back down the other side of the lift. I wasn't too worried since I was sure the lift operator would stop the lift but it started to dawn on me that the lift was still going and I couldn't undo my rucksack. I looked at the lift operator and he was reading what must have been a fascinating book whilst I was getting dragged to the drop on the other side of the lift. I shouted a 'Hoi!' at him and saw his face change as he registered that I was going to be strangled by my bag and he was going to be sacked. Luckily he stopped it before I started to dangle off the chair by my neck and dashed over to release me. He told me he would have come earlier if I'd screamed like a girl so I'll bear that in mind. Apparently my "Hoi" was too relaxed for his liking. Anyway, no harm done except I was a bit grumpy and was miffed at Cath for pointing and laughing at me as I was dragged to my doom. I'm sure I saw her trying to find the camera but I'll say no more...

We did a few more runs and I stoically coped with the pain before we headed back down into the town. When I took my boots off my ankle had swollen up a lot and I couldn't walk very well so I hobbled to the doctor to see if they could give me anything for it but the queue was too long. I went to the chemist instead and they gave me some cream to help it heal and told me to relax for a bit. I couldn't drive so Cath drove us to Akoroa which turned out to be a scary drive up darkened mountains in the ice. She did a great job though and I managed to not complain too much about her driving. Once in Akarora we found a lovely hotel and we had dinner in a fantastic restaurant (which was expensive but was the only place open in town and was well worth the money). We didn't really fit in what with me hobbling in and the two of us in our ski-ing gear with windswept hair but they were very polite to us (except for the cheeky waiter who said that I looked about 35 years old!) and the food was superb.

The next day we went on to our final destination: Christchurch, and it was a bit of a shock to the system for both of us. It was our first time in a city for 3 weeks and quite a change from our little van. To be honest we both didn't really want to be there and would quite happily have flown back to the UK but we made the most of it but going to a couple of restaurants and the museum (which was pretty good actually) and taking a boat trip from Lyttleton Harbour out to see some dolphins in the Pacific. My foot was a bit better so I stood out on the front of the boat to watch them and periodically got drenched by the odd freak wave. The dolphins were very cool - they were called Hectors Dolphins and are the smallest type of dolphin with less of a pointy fin and a fin more like Mickey Mouse's ear. They swam alongside the boat jumping in the air and generally just showing off. I have a very shaky video of them as I tried to film them with one hand while the other hand held onto the rail in an attempt to stop me getting thrown overboard.

And that's it really. We flew back from Christchurch to Sydney and then Sydney to London via Singapore. The flight was dreadful since it seemed to go on forever. At one point I woke up, sure that I was over France or somewhere but was disappointed to find out that we were over the Middle East. I woke Cath up from her deep sleep to tell her and she was disappointed too, especially since she couldn't get back to sleep again.

So, my trip is over. What can I say? It was great and if you get the chance to do something similar then jump at it. It wasn't always great fun (a certain Chinese hospital springs to mind) but (and at the risk of dredging out a tired cliche) the memories are fantastic.

There will be another blog post because there are a few mistakes in some of the articles and there are plenty of things that I've missed out so I'll need to tidy them up. But that's it for now. Hope you've enjoyed it!

Gregor

The Last Bit - Part 2

2006-10-11T12:24:00.000Z

Hello!

I have a little secret to confess - I'm not actually in New Zealand anymore. Currently I'm sitting at my computer in the UK trying to remember where I went when I was in New Zealand so the remaining entries of this blog will be written by pulling memories out of that leaky sieve I like to call my memory.

But you can get off the edge of your seats now because I'm happy to report that our plane landed in New Zealand as planned and we didn't plummet to our doom during the flight. Whew! In fact, we landed in Auckland late that same evening and after a brief detour when they took my hiking boots away to clean them in case I'd brought some contaminated soil into the country (they apparently have a very fragile eco-system) we pulled up to our hotel, marvelling at the lovely rain and wind that we'd flown into and wondering whether our plan to hire a camper van in a New Zealand winter was going to turn out to be as stupid as it sounded. The hotel was fine apart from a few luxuries such as heating, insulation and post-1960s decor but it was cheap and handy for both the airport and the van-hire place.

The next morning we were up early to pick up our van and it was an absolute triumph of space-management and ergonomics. It was a small Toyota Hiache but it had space for 3 people sleeping (as long as the 3rd was about 2 inches tall), a cooker, fridge, sink, decent storage and things like kettles and frying pans. I was impressed and set off into the rain in a good frame of mind. My calm demeanour was tested a little bit by the noise of the cutlery crashing around whenever we went around a corner at more than 2mph and it took another dent when it took us about an hour to finally find our way out of the industrial estate to find the motorway. We were going to Hot Water Beach at Coromandel which is a beach (surprisingly enough) where you can dig a hole in the sand at low tide and if you dig it in the right place then you come across water that's been heated by a thermal spring (or something - I tuned out while Cath explained the details since my mind was busy designing the giant sand-castle I was going to construct). Finally we made it to the motorway and by thrashing the life out of our poor camper van to push it up to the NZ speed limit (62mph) we managed to get there just as the tide was coming in.

We quickly dashed down the beach and I feverishly started digging a hole with my hands but to no avail. Then we realised that we wanted to be further up the beach where there were some people milling around looking puzzled. When we got there I tried digging another hole but once again to no avail. There was an old French man in immodestly short swimming trunks wandering around trying to find the spring but the tide was coming in quickly and it looked like we weren't going to find the right spot. Suddenly, with a gallic shout of triumph our Frenchman pointed to where he was standing and beckoned us over - the tide was up to his knees but when we stood in the same spot the water almost burnt my feet because it was so hot. Showing my gratitude and keen to practice my French I thanked him ("Petit pois, jambon le maison") and we made our way back to the van with burnt feet and wet clothes.

We had lunch and then drove until it got dark when we found somewhere to park up - a place called Whakatane. We parked in a car park on the coast and started arranging the van to get the bed and cooker and everything else all sorted out. It was a tad cramped but we managed to cook a decent meal and get quite comfortable and then drifted off to sleep with the sound of the waves crashing onto the beach outside the window.

The next day we made our way to Rotorua, a spa town that has loads of thermal baths and tourist stuff for people that are into that sort of thing. The first thing that you notice is the strong smell of sulphur in the air but it does mean that there are some pretty cool sights around the town. We visited a park, much like a smaller Hyde Park but which had lots of sulphurus lakes dotted around and the odd hole filled with bubbling mud. New holes keep appearing as the ground gives way and there are lots of dead trees and plants around that have succumbed to the constant attack of boiling water and whatever else the ground decides to chuck up. In fact, the park is so active that some of the drains on the road have steam pouring out from them. If you ask me, it's not the greatest place to live with the constant stench of sulphur and the risk of your house disappearing into a boiling pit of mud at any moment, but the town has made the most of it with lots of thermal-based attractions and the park had a couple of thermal pools where you could sit on the side and soak your feet in the pleasantly warm water. I spent a pleasant 30 minutes doing just that and Cath had 30 minutes of torment as I constantly splashed her with water and threatened to chuck her in the water. Ahh, what fun!

After the park we drove to the Whakarewarewa Thermal Valley to see a few geysers and more thermal activity. It was good to see but we were a little misled because we though we would watch a hole in the ground and then at some unexpected moment - probably when I was at the toilet or looking the other way or something - the geyser would gush force in a violent display and we would all 'ooh' and 'aah' at the appropriate moment. So when we got there, we looked over a barrier at what were apparently 4 geysers - some of which were constantly throwing up water and others which were apparently going to exhibit the behaviour described previously. Since we couldn't really distinguish any of the 4 geysers from each other we stood watching waiting for the giant crash of the main geyser throwing water tens of metres into the air but after about 30 minutes of not very much happenin, one of the guided tours rolled up and the guy explained that the main geyser was running constantly at the moment and wouldn't be doing anything dramatic. I thanked him for his explanation, told him that it would have been nice to have known this before we invested 30 minutes of our time looking at the ground, threw him in a boiling mud pool and moved on.

It was time to find a home for the night and this time we chose a camp site since we needed to charge the batteries in the van and hook up to a mains supply. We found a nice campsite on the edge of Lake Rotorua that had it's own thermal pool that we took advantage of (although we had to have a shower first so that the pool remained clean - running down from the showers to the pool in the freezing cold was somewhat bracing) and it even had heated tent sites due to the thermal activity going on beneath the ground. Of course you run the risk of waking up boiled in a pool of sulphurus water but at least you'd be nice and warm.

The next day we drove to Waitomo Caves. Those David Attenborough fans amongst you might recognise it from Life in the Undergrowth because he went there to film a piece on glow worms. The caves are deep underground and have lots of stalegtites and cool rock formations and stuff. There is also a stream/river running through it and you can do a variety of different tours such as having a nice walking tour through the caves looking at glow worms and stuff or you can stick a wetsuit on, sit in a big rubber ring and float down the river. We opted for walking since we'd had enough of getting wet and plus it looked a bit manic at points on the rubber rings which would have ended no doubt ended with me drowning. It was very cool though because they'd rigged up lots of colourful lights which looked really good when they were lighting up the rock formations in the cave. When they turned all of the lights out you could walk for a bit and see the glow worms shining in the gloom. It was ruined a bit by some monstrously awful American family who frankly looked liked they all might be related in slightly unnatural ways and who managed to irritate me in every way. From the fat son who snorted loudly and frequently through his nose in an attempt to dislodge something that didn't want to be dislodged to the other brother/cousin/both who answered every rhetorical question that the guide asked. Add in the mother who liked to repeat the obvious ("That's a glow worm right there. There it is. That's a glow worm. Yep, it's right there. The glow worm.") and I would have gladly mown them down with a large gun. As it was I just stomped around at the back sighing whenever they got into my eyeline.

That night we drove for a while trying to find a nice spot to park up but there didn't appear to be anywhere so we pulled into a small town that had a camping area behind a shop. We parked up but then the smell of fish and chips and general nastiness of the place prompted us to move on and we found a much nicer caravan park next to the ocean and where they had a rather peculiar beach where the sand was black. We were the only people in the park which was nice and once again we drifted off the sleep with the sound of the ocean crashing onto the beach behind us.

The next day we were up early to drive to New Plymouth where one of Cath's friends had moved to. We were looking forward to spending the night in a house that had a shower and heating and other luxuries. We met up with Derek and drove into town where I treated myself to a new rucksack (having managed to wear out Cath's rucksack during the previous few months) and finally replace my camera. I started looking at small pocket cameras but when the shop assistant brought out a big camera with lots of buttons then she knew the sale was in the bag. I spent the rest of my day playing with my new toy and irritating Cath and Derek with flashing lights and beeps and dull statistics. They loved it really. That everning we had a huge roast dinner and I spent the rest of the evening sprawled on the sofa - not unlike a beached whale whilst Cath and Derek caught up and traded dull chemistry stories.

Saturday was my birthday but we spent most of the day in the van because we were driving to Wellington to get the ferry to the South Island. We weren't bothered about seeing the city so we just drove straight to the terminal and while we waited in the car park for the ferry Cath showed me the birthday cake she'd bought earlier when we stopped for some junk food for the van. She even had some candles and so we put 23 of them on the cake to reflect my youthful age, devoured the cake and waited for the ferry.

And that's about it for the North Island. You'll have to wait and see if we managed to reach Picton on the South Island or whether our ferry sank, taking it's passengers to the freezing murky depths of the sea.

So, from London, all the best.
Gregor

The Last Bit - Part 1

2006-08-29T17:37:00.000Z

Hello!

As you may have noticed, I've not updated this for a while and I don't have a very good excuse beyond being too lazy to do it. But I'm being punished because I now have to write loads in order to bring this thing up to date and so I'll be sitting at a keyboard for a while. I'm being sensible though and splitting it into separate posts so that I can do it in installments and write something manageable rather than an epic novel.

However, I have just updates my flickr site although the observant amongst you will see that it only consists of New Zealand and no Australia. The reason for that is that I managed to lose my camera just before I stepped onto the plane to New Zealand and unfortunately I lost all my pictures from Australia as well. I contacted all the places I thought it could be but to no avail so I can only assume that some dishonest Aussie has found it and kept it for themselves. As you can imagine, I wasn't in the best mood for a few days after that but I treated myself to a new camera which is bigger and has more buttons so that cheered me up.

Blimey, where do I start? Well, last time I blogged I was about to go to Adelaide so that sounds like a sensible place to start. It's a pretty cool place to visit. It's quite a small city but it has lots of nice parks and it's a great city to just wander around. I was a bit geeky too and walked some of the old Formula 1 track (Adelaide held a race in the streets until 1996 when Melbourne pinched it - I walked the Melbourne track too, but now I'm painting myself in a bad light so I'll stop there!). Having said that, there's not too much to do there so I only spent a couple of days there before flying to Alice Springs and booking myself onto a tour to see Uluru (or Ayers Rock as it used to be known).

I was a little apprehensive because I didn't expect to be overly impressed by what is essentially a big rock, but it was actually very impressive and we spent ages wandering around it and examining it from different angles. A few facts, courtesy of the Lonely Planet (just about everything I know about Australia comes from Bill Bryson or the Lonely Planet): it is 3.6km long, 348m high (and it is thought that 2/3 of the rock remains underground) and a walk around the circumference of the rock is 10km long. So yes, it's a big rock but it's a fantastic sight and well worth seeing. There is the option to climb the rock but I didn't do it because the Aborigines consider it to be a sacred site and don't want tourists running about all over it. That didn't stop a couple of people in my group climbing it so I fired suitably scathing looks in their direction when they got off the bus and had a good chuckle at the woman who could barely climb the first few metres without falling over. I was hoping that she would comically roll down the hill cartoon-like but I was bitterly disappointed.

After travelling around the rock, we hung around and had a BBQ while we waited for the sun to go down since the rock is meant to change colour as the sun slowly descends in the evening. And it did - it was very cool. Not quite the spiritual experience that you'd be led to believe it is from speaking to some people but definitely worth seeing and there were a few "Wow" moments as we saw the rock from different angles.

Once the sun had gone down we headed back to Alice Springs (a mere 400km away) and I was back by midnight - but very tired since they picked me up at a very chilly 7am that morning. It was strange because the days were baking hot but as soon as the sun went down it was freezing cold - especially in my accommodation which was reminiscent of one of the pre-fabricated huts that passed for my classroom when I was 8 years old. There wasn't much else to see in Alice Springs - it's a pretty nasty tourist town with no charm or character and which seemed to consist of tourists, people employed by the tourist industry or some seriously beaten up aborigine people. I won't even try to explain anything about the Australian Aborigine situation (and no least because I know next to nothing about it) except that to say that it's a big problem. While I was visiting an Adelaide church I was talking with a gentle elderly man who worked in the gift shop and his entire demeanor changed and frosted over when I mentioned I was going to Alice Springs. He told me that the Aborigines were a massive problem there and they like to take money from Australians but like to live by their own rules. It was an experience almost spookily identical to one that Bill Bryson had in "Down Under". On the other hand, you're told not to judge Aborigines by the ones you see in Alice Springs or Darwin who generally have drink problems. To be honest, I didn't see enough to even form an opinion except that the ones in Alice Springs could benefit from a good wash now and again...

Anyway, I visited the Royal Flying Doctor museum which was quite interesting, a kangaroo rescue centre where I held a few baby kangaroos and also visited the Alice Spring reptile centre which was extremely scary. There really are far too many innocuous looking but lethal animals in Australia and most of them were on show here (thankfully behind glass windows). There were newspaper cutouts of men missing various crucial and significant limbs thanks to spiders biting them or stumbling over a small wormlike snake or something. I vowed to keep to the pavement at all times from that moment onwards.

After exhausting the 3 things worth seeing in Alice Springs I decided, in some misguided attempt at "seeing the real Australia" that the best way to go to Darwin (for that was my next destination) would be to travel by bus for 21 hours through miles and miles of desert and road. Clearly I'd been out in the sun too long but the man at the bus station gladly sold me a ticket and I climbed onto the bus. 21 hours later I emerged only slightly deranged and found a hostel right next to the bus station which had a pool and which sounded nice and lively. As I was checking in I noticed a party of Irishmen who'd clearly been sitting next to the pool all day liberally pouring vast quantities of Aussie beer down their throats. I then observed (somewhat wide-eyed) them pounce on a frail young backpacker who had the misfortune of passing them at the wrong time be picked up fully clothed and launched into the pool to the accompaniment of cheers and shouts. Not wishing to suffer the same fate I tanked it past them to my room before they even had a chance to notice I was there. When I left the hostel for dinner that night it all seemed to be getting a bit out of hand so I was glad to be out of it. A few days later I saw a couple of the same lads being loaded into the back of a police van outside a pub on the main street so I had a good laugh at them.

Darwin had loads to do and was totally geared for the tourist but it was just totally full of English, Irish and German kids (well, about 18 or 19 or something) and I felt a bit out of place really. They'd obviously just parked themselves in Darwin for the summer and it's what I would imagine a Southern Hemisphere Ibiza to be like. But I'd come to Darwin for a reason and that was to go on the jumping crocodile tour!

A guy in Melbourne had told me about this and it basically consists of taking a boat trip down a crocodile infested river and hanging a bit of meat out over the side for the croc to come and eat. Except the piece of meat is hung quite high up on a stick and the croc has to jump out of the water to get it. What's more is that there is a guy holding the stick and he lifts it up just as the croc jumps for it, much like teasing a dog so that the croc has to jump a couple of times to get it. But crocs can be quick when they want and frequently they would snatch the meat before the guy had a chance to react. It was fantastic to see - these crocs were ridiculously big and absolutely terrifying to look at and they were launching themselves out of the water and tearing the meat apart. You could hear the bones being crunched by the crocs and you realised that you had pretty much no chance if they got their mouth round you. The tour also included a trip to a crocodile farm where they bred crocs for meat and skin (I declined the crocodile meat in the cafe) but you could get up close to the crocs and try to stare them out. I wanted to wrestle a few of them because I reckoned I could take them all on but the people who owned the place wouldn't let me, obviously fearful for the lives of their crocs... Party-poopers.

I also visited a wildlife park which was set in hectares of open bushland and which you could wander around pretty freely. It was massive and took all of the morning to get around but was well worth it as you could go see the kangaroos, visit the nocturnal house, aviary, aquarium and see a bird of prey show (although that finished early as they were scared that some of the smaller birds might get eaten by some wild birds that were flying around). Wandering around the bush, I was a bit worried about getting eaten by a wild snake or a spider and my jumpy mood wasn't helped by thousands of blackfly buzzing around me. At one point a butterfly flew towards me and not quite able to tell what it was I started frantically waving my hands around, much like someone having a fight with fresh air before I realised what it was. After regaining my composure and nervously checking that no one had seen me I went back to swatting blackfly. I was quite glad when I got back to the bus without any obvious snake-inflicted injuries.

After visiting a fantastic museum (which detailed a typhoon that virtually tore the town apart in the 70's) I was done with Darwin and ready to head back to Sydney to meet Cath who was flying out to see me. After my experience with the bus journey I decided to fly to Sydney since air travel is pretty cheap in Oz and the distances are too great for any sane person to consider driving. However my only option was to fly from Darwin at 1am via Brisbane, getting to Sydney at 6am that morning. For some bizarre reason all the flights from Darwin seemed to leave at some obscene hour and so it was that I was sitting in Brisbane airport amongst screaming kids and irritating Aussies at 4am trying to convince myself that this was fun and that I was enjoying myself.

Back in Sydney I found a hostel and had a couple of hours sleep which perked me up a bit before heading out for a wander in Sydney. It was nice to be back in a city that I knew and I just spent some time poking around the shops since I was too tired and the afternoon was too short to do any serious activities. The next day it was pouring with rain so I went to the Maritime museum which was excellent and then to the Powerhouse museum which is probably my most favourite museum ever. The Australians certainly know how to make a good museum and I spent a very cultured day poking around and playing with the exhibits, turfing annoying schoolkids off the toys that I wanted to play with - little brats.

Finally Cath arrived, no thanks to a last minute slight panic due to a typhoon in Hong Kong cancelling her flight from London. Despite her jetlag we climbed Sydney Harbour Bridge (on an organised tour of course - not just by jumping up there or anything). It was a tad pricey but it was totally worth it and definitely something to remember. We were pretty lucky with the weather too so the views were good. Sadly you're not allowed to take cameras or anything but you get a photo as part of the cost so it's not too bad. That evening we went to Sydney aquarium where Cath educated me on loads of animals about which I didn't have a clue. I confidently educated her on the crocodile that was there before reading the sign and realising that it was a totally different type of crocodile. Ah well, I've found that as long as you can be confident in what you say then it often doesn't matter if you're right or wrong - I commend this approach to you all...

And that was pretty much all of Australia. We left the hotel and went to the airport and at some point I carelessly lost my camera. Too late to do anything we boarded the flight to New Zealand as planned and you'll have to wait until the next installment of this blog to find out if we landed in one piece or if we crashed as a gigantic fireball into the ocean.

Until the next time.....be good.

From Scotland to Australia

2006-07-21T08:01:00.000Z

Hello from Melbourne!!!

As the perceptive amongst you will have noticed, I am no longer in the UK and I'm currently enjoying an Antipodean winter down under. I hear that you're all basking in a heatwave in the UK which must be very nice for you but please spare a thought for me all wrapped up in my fleece and stuff because it's a little bit chilly here. Having said that, it's nothing like a UK winter since I'm enjoying nice blue skies instead of biting wind and rain and it's about 12 degrees or so rather than hovering around freezing.

So, I know you've been religiously checking my blog desperately searching for updates and so I am happy to furnish you with my activities of the last week.

I first flew into Sydney and being the organised chap that I am, I had a hostel all organised and even had a bus waiting to take me there. The jet lag so far has been dreadful - even after a week I'm currently going to bed around 2am and waking up anywhere between 8am and 12pm. To be frank, Frank, my body clock is just completely screwed up and I don't know whether I'm coming or going. It's a bit strange because when I went to Hong Kong I had one uncomfortable night of staring at the ceiling and then I was fine, but for some reason coming to Oz has been much more difficult even though the time difference is only an extra hour. Oh well, I think I'm starting to adjust but it's not helped by people snoring and talking and stuff in my dorm room. I've managed to stop myself yelling at them though so I'm rather proud of my new found restrait.

I'm enjoying being a tourist in a country where they speak English (or a variant thereof) and that makes life much easier than trying to communicate through hand signals or whatever else I had to resort to when I was in China. It's just much easier being here since everything is pretty familiar and the place is totally set up for brain-dead tourists much like myself.

So, I had 4 days in Sydney and did all the tourist stuff - looked at the opera house and the harbour bridge and went for a poke around the city. I had a nice walk down the coast from Bondi Beach to a place called Coogee - the waves were amazing, and I also brushed off my cultural side and went to a museum and stuff. I wouldn't say I was bowled over by Sydney but it was nice to see it and to spend some time there.

After that, it was off to Melbourne on the train. I thought I'd get the train because you get to see the scenery pass you by but it was very repetitive after about an hour so I just slept most of the 11 hours. I was stuck in a carriage with a bunch of very smelly students and their tragic dress sense so sleeping was a form of escape for me. The Australians have a bit of a penchant for skin-tight jeans circa 1984 which didn't even look good then so throw in a few dodgy mullets and it's a bit of a laugh people-watching in town. Anyway, I drew into Melbourne at 6pm and in another triumph of organisation on my part I only had a brief 5 minute walk to the hostel (or in fact it could have been a long 5 minute walk - it was 5 minutes regardless and so the addition of the word 'brief' or 'long' is totally unnecessary). Anyway, I had a walk that lasted 5 minutes and depending on your viewpoint, that may be considered brief, long or average. The fact of the matter is that I didn't really have to walk that far to get to the hostel because my planning had been exquisite.

Melbourne seems a little bit more laid back than Sydney and it's a bit more diverse as well since there's a large Chinatown area and a big Greek area too. It doesn't have the memorable view that Sydney has but it seems to be a better town for shopping (my selection of clothes was limited and getting a bit tired after being dragged around China so I had a cull and bought a load of new stuff) and there seems to be a bit more to do as well. I visited the Melbourne museum which was very cool and also included a set from Neighbours which was a very moving experience for me...

Hmm, reading back it doesn't sound like I've done very much at all, but I promise you that I have! I've just spent most of my time walking around and taking the place in. There are lots of different little streets and things to go off an explore and you totally fill your day just poking around.

Anyway, I'm off to Adelaide tomorrow evening on the overnight bus which will be a bundle of laughs. I'll have a few days there and then head off to Uluru (or Ayres Rock). I have to be back in Sydney at the start of August to meet Cath who's coming out to enjoy the trip with me (and she will naturally enjoy it very much since she gets to spend all of her time with yours truly - as will I enjoy it very much since I get to spend all my time with yours truly too...) and then we head off to New Zealand which is somewhere that we think is very close to Australia but is actually 10 billion miles away from it or something as every New Zealander will be quick to tell you...

Right, this is a quick one because internet access is much more expensive in Australia compared to China - dreadfully unfair if you ask me!

I'll try and get some more pictures up soon.

All the best,
Gregor

From Warsaw to Scotland

2006-07-01T20:38:00.000Z

Hello from Scotland!! Or as they say here: Pick a windae ye bamheid.

Yes, it's been a while and for that I offer most profuse apologies but you I have a very good excuse: I couldn't really be bothered writing any more and that's why I didn't update it. As you may have guessed from the subject, I'm back in the UK now so I've been pampering myself with good bread, fresh milk and edible chocolate and thus haven't found the time to update my blog. But then I had a pang of conscience and felt very guilty about neglecting my dear readers and so that's why you find another entry about my adventures.

So, last time I wrote I was in Warsaw and enjoying being back in Europe. Cath came out to visit me the very next day so I was out at the airport ready to meet her and it was fantastic to see her after almost 3 months away. We spent another day in Warsaw doing all the tourist stuff before getting a train that evening to Krakow where we were going to be staying with a friend of mine for a few days.

Krakow was gorgeous - a great size for walking around and with a lovely (slightly touristy) square in the middle with lots of cafes and stuff. It wasn't too busy except for what seemed to be thousands of school parties getting under my feet and in my way. But I took it in my happy-go-lucky way and only slapped a few of them - little brats that they were. So we did the tourist stuff - went to the Jewish quarter, went up the big bell tower-type thing for views over the city and went down to the castle and cathedral which were jolly impressive. We spent a day in the salt mines which were incredible - I'd love to recount all the facts and figures we were told on the tour but I've forgotten them so you'll just have to believe me when I say that it was pretty old, really big and quite cool - there was a giant cathedral carved out deep in the mine which I'm sure you'll agree is impressive.

We also went to the site of the Auschwitz concentration camp. There are lots of exhibitions and things detailing all the awful things that went on there but as you walk about you really can't imagine what it was like. A lot of the buildings and things remain but it doesn't look like an awful place - it's just a number of buildings after all - and I found it quite difficult to comprehend that all these terrible things had gone on in the place I was walking around. It's a bit strange being inside this sort of industrial looking room and finding out that they gassed and burned thousands upon thousands of living human beings right where you were standing. I'm not really too sure what I thought as I came away from the place but it's definitely worth a visit to see and experience for yourself, if only for the educational value of the exhibitions.

The only other thing of note is when Thecla's (for indeed she is the friend I was referring to) neighbour somehow managed to lock us all in Thecla's apartment. I'm not entirely clear on why we were locked in but if you knew Thecla then these things tend to happen to her so you learn not to ask questions. Anyway, the only way out was for someone (me) to leap off her balcony to the ground below and then go round and open the front door. Rising the challenge, I lept off her balcony, landed on my feet, staggered around for approximately 20 seconds in the manner of Oliver Reed after a particularly heavy night out before crashing to the ground gracefully, taking out a young tree in the process and managing to cover my lovely Trans-Siberian T-Shirt in some kind of moss. Not my finest hour as a hero but as a comedian I've never managed as many laughs. But I managed to release the hostages so well done me.

After Krakow we caught an overnight train to Budapest. Cath really suffered with her hay fever on the train and was finding it difficult to breathe which was quite worrying but thankfully it cleared itself up enough that she was able to sleep a bit. Our border guards didn't help much by waking us up at 3am and 6am to check our passports but I was very well behaved and polite to them despite them waking me from my precious slumber.

Once we got to Budapest then it was straight to the hotel and on with the sightseeing. Budapest was much much bigger than both Warsaw and Krakow but it was still very picturesque and with lots of impressive buildings and sights for us to take in. Cath was starting to discover that my approach to sightseeing generally involved finding somewhere to eat, having a good meal and a rest, quickly perusing a few sights and then going back to the hotel for a little afternoon nap before heading out for dinner in the evening. Sadly this didn't really fit in with her idea of a holiday so we saw lots of Budapest while I sulked around clutching my stomach in the style of a 5-year old child who wanted a McDonalds, so we saw lots of the sights of Budapest such as the Royal Palace and the fantastic gothic parliament building as well as lots of buildings that I missed the names of because I was too malnourished to focus.

We also had a fantastic time at the thermal baths which were full of all sorts of people of all sorts of shapes and sizes and wearing all sorts of inappropriate clothing. I put them all to shame with my chiselled figure as I relaxed in the baths and noted the look of envy in the men and lust in the women. There was a very cool thing that I'll struggle to describe but it was basically a circular wall that you could swim around and which also had it's own current which propelled you round. It was great fun but Cath had an altercation with some fat Hungarians and crashed into the wall managing to damage her knee in the process - thankfully it wasn't too major so we were able to continue scoping out lots of new restaurants.

After Hungary it was back to the UK and a life of laziness (for me at least - every other sucker had to go to work - ho ho ho!). We arrived in Heathrow and I took the wheel of Cath's car for the first time in 3 months. Within the first 5 minutes I'd almost managed to crash so it was pretty much back to life as normal although I was about 10 miles down the M4 before I'd remembered to put my seatbelt on - perhaps more of China had rubbed off onto me than I'd thought.

The Saturday after I got back I had to get all dressed up for my friend Andy's wedding because I was the best man. I wore my pink cravat without a hint of irony and delivered a best man speech full of dreadful jokes which people were polite enough to laugh at - I can't imagine what it would have been like if no-one had laughed. After another week of laziness (which I could SERIOUSLY get used to) I came to Scotland to visit the family and do a spot of hill-walking which brings me to today, sitting at my parents computer with two very sore legs from my exertions.

What next then, I hear you all cry? Well, I'm back in England (hopefully minus all those stupid England flags everywhere now that they're no longer in the World Cup) next week and then on the 11th I head off to Sydney which is in a place called Australia where everything is upside down and they all speak like Rolf Harris. Sounds like fun!

So, that's all from me for the time being - hopefully my next blog update will be carried out in a more timely manner.

Anyway, ripper mate, stone the flamin crows.

Gregor

From Beijing to Warsaw

2006-06-03T17:03:00.000Z

Hello from Poland!! Or as they say here: wylcoz cazoyoyakz zakukokayzzc.

So, it's been a while - did you miss me? I missed you too. But you'll be glad to know that's it been a fun filled couple of weeks and I took another few million pictures to bore you with when I get back.

So, as you may have guessed, I've made it back to Europe and I must say that it feels like something of a homecoming. When I went to China I didn't think it was really THAT different to Europe but now that I'm back in Europe I can see that it's actually totally different. But it's good to be back - the air is fresher, the people are better looking and the food is more to my taste. You can cross the road without fear of being mown down by a lunatic scooter rider and you don't have to dodge flying saliva when you walk down the street. The whole noise level had been taken down a notch and it's generally a more pleasant place to be. Not that I'm saying that I didn't enjoy China - I actually really enjoyed it and looking back at the last few months I've pretty much achieved everything that I wanted to do (except for Nepal - grrrr!) when - but I found it a tiring place to be for a long period of time, so after two months I'm pleased that I'm somewhere different.

And Warsaw in particular is absolutely beautiful. Perhaps it's because I've been away but the architecture in the Old Town is really lovely and just wandering around the place is really pleasant. They also have a fantastic building in the centre of the city that was apparently a gift from Stalin. If you were friends with Stalin and he gave you a skyscraper as a present then I'd expect it look exactly like the skyscraper he gave to Warsaw: Click here for a picture

So, I suppose you're all sitting at work pretending to be working but really you're desperate to know what I've been up to for the last week? Yes, No, Maybe? Well I'm going to tell you anyway.

On the Tuesday (23rd May) I was up at some absurdly early hour to get to Beijing Railway Station to catch the Trans-Siberian to Ulaan Bator. I was sharing a cabin with three other people who were also going to Mongolia: a girl called Anna who was to be my only travelling companion for the next week or so - much to Cath's delight - and an English couple called Dave and Sarah who were getting off a couple of stops early to go camel-trekking in the Gobi desert and then spending a further 9 days in Mongolia. The journey itself was pretty uneventful - I took the opportunity to eat loads of junk food and to spread myself liberally around the cabin so that I could have a comfortable snooze.

As we came into Inner Mongolia the scenery changed quite quickly and the lush green fields gave way to monotonous desert as far as the eye could see. The sun was quickly blotted out by sandstorms and even inside the carriage with the windows shut you could taste the dust in the air. The day went quite quickly and as darkness fell we drew up to the Mongolian border where we were going to have to wait for a few hours while the customs officials did their thing and also while they changed the wheels on the carriages to fit the narrower gauge line that they use in Mongolia and Russia, so we took the opportunity to get off the train and stretch our legs.

By the time we got back on the train it was 2am Mongolian time (they are on Beijing time but they also observe summer time so we were in the strange position of travelling west but putting the clocks forward an hour) and we were all knackered from our strenuous day of sitting and eating so we went straight to bed.

We drew into Ulaan Bator (minus the English couple who'd got off earlier) in the afternoon and were met by our guide at the station. She had a piece of paper with our names on which made me feel very special and gave us a quick tour of the city - it was very Russian and for the first time in a couple of months I finally felt like I wasn't in China. After we'd seen the city she took us out to our home for the next couple of days at a Ger camp outside the city.

There wasn't much to do except read and go for the odd walk and horse ride and I found it really relaxing. The scenery was fabulous and our Ger camp was very comfortable with good heating and good food served in the restaurant. There were even hot showers in a separate block although some of the visiting Americans were whinging that the water pressure wasn't strong enough for them. Quite what they expected I don't know but I was very pleasantly surprised by just how comfortable the whole set-up was.

On the Friday it was back on the train for 4 nights until we got to Moscow. I was in a cabin with Anna, another English girl called Belinda and a German girl called Susan. Cath was delighted to hear that I was locked in a carriage with 3 girls for 4 nights but I was very honest and at the risk of mental breakdowns and suicide threats I very quickly told the other girls that I had a girlfriend and to their credit they took it very well. I also gave them a daily run-down of how many days it would be until I met up with Cath in Poland which obviously wasn't annoying for them in the slightest.

In actual fact, I didn't speak with Susan very much at all because she was a nutter. Her method of introduction involved taking an almighty Germanic strop at us all for leaving a bag temporarily on her bunk as we were trying to find somewhere to put all our luggage after we'd arrived in the cabin. Not the best way to make friends with the other people you'll be sharing a small space with for 4 days. So after her little outburst at us, we pretty much ignored her for the rest of the trip which was a bit harsh on her but in our defence she was a complete fruitcake. For example: at the Mongolian border crossing into Europe she refused to answer the (very angry looking) border guard's question about why her passport was ripped, then attempted to make a joke about finding her passport on the ground in the street and then as a manic finale made some throwaway comment about having a bomb. She also took a massive strop at another passenger who she claimed grabbed her - although this could be true cos he looked well dodgy, and on another occasion she was screaming at our conductor (or provodnitsa as they're called) that she hadn't given her an immigration form. You can see why we tried to distance ourselves from her.

Anyway, the rest of the journey was quite quiet and I spent most of my time reading, sleeping, eating, daydreaming, doing Sudoko or making preparations to eat and sleep. Simple tasks took on monumental importance and minor decisions were weighed up with every pro and con considered. It sounds dull, but it was a great trip and really exciting to be crossing an entire continent by train.

We had a bunch of Mongolian traders on our train who had loads of junk that they tried to sell at some of the stations along the route. It were fantastic to watch as these crazy traders dashed off the train with some of the most awful clothes you could imagine and tried to force them onto the people that had come to the station to buy this junk. Now, I was told that Russia was full of beautiful women but this couldn't have been any further from the truth. Some of the people I saw looked like they'd been attacked repeatedly by the ugly tree rather than falling out of it. I had to applaud just how ugly some of these people were because it must have taken a serious amount of concerted effort. Then to complete the ensemble they bought some of the most incredible clothing - purple velour tracksuits and lime green quilted jackets and such like. I don't know what on earth was going on but I watched with detached, bemused, horrified enjoyment. Put in the context of how little was going on each day, every stop became a little bit of theatre that you prepared yourself for in advance.

And so, before long (seriously - the time went quite quickly) we drew into Moscow where another man was waiting for us (this time without our names on a piece of paper - amateur!) and took Anna and myself off to our hotel while Belinda was taken away by her tour group rep. I'm not sure what became of Susan - I imagine a group of Russian policemen were getting an ear bashing from her and then baton-charged her but I can't be sure.

Our hotel was very nice and I had a very well deserved and very welcome (and not just by me) shower before crashing out after my exhausting few days of sleeping and eating. In all seriousness though, I was really tired and I don't know why. I slept like a log all of the time on the train so I'm putting it down to some strange sort of jet-lag and culture shock. All three of us felt a bit out of sorts in Moscow which meant that our attempts at sight-seeing involved maybe an hour of wandering around and they going for a coffee and food somewhere before going back to the hotel. I didn't really see much of Moscow and the rain and wind was a bit off-putting too - it sounds lazy but I've done so much sight-seeing the last couple of months that I think I was a little jaded. Plus the locals didn't seem to be massively friendly and I personally just wanted to get to Poland.

But it was good to see Moscow - I got lots of pictures, went to see Lenin (who was looking a bit grey and off-colour but not bad for someone who's been dead for 80 years) and it was nice to be back in Europe.

And now, after an overnight journey from Moscow and a slightly early stop where they kicked us all off the train outside the city I'm in Warsaw. I guess this'll be my last blog entry until I get back to the UK (albeit temporarily - I still have another 3 months off work you know?) for my friends wedding so hopefully I'll get to catch up with some of you while I'm back.

And so that's it from me for the time-being. When I'm back in the UK I'll update my Flickr site with some more of my pictures and I might even be able to tell you what I'm planning for the rest of my trip.

Until then - all the best!

Gregor

Bye bye China

2006-05-22T07:38:00.000Z

So, amazingly it's my last day in China today. It's been 9 weeks since I left the UK and I get the Trans-Siberian (or more accurately the Trans-Mongolian) tomorrow to go to Russia, via a 2 night stop-over in Ulan-Bator.

Scary stuff really - in some ways the time has gone very quickly but in other ways it feels like a long time since I was back in the UK. It feels like ages since I saw Cath so I'm really looking forward to seeing her in Poland in a week or so.

Anyway, last time I wrote I was in Kunming which turned out to probably be my favourite city in China. There were lots of parks and trees and it wasn't as crowded or as manic as everywhere else that I've been, plus the climate was quite nice - not too hot and not cold, although it did pour with rain for a couple of days while I was there. There wasn't anything specifically outstanding to go and visit but it was a nice place to spend a bit of time wandering around the city and visiting the parks and things.

After Kunming I flew up to Xi'an to see the Terracotta Warriors. Xi'an was massive - much bigger than I expected (although I should have expected it to be large since it was the capital of China at one time) and it was really very hot indeed - too hot for me.

I took the chance to visit my friend Marc who is currently lecturing at a university outside Xi'an (somehow he's been made an Associate Professor!) and he showed me around Yangling and then his wife cooked us a very nice dinner. It was good to catch up with him and I think he enjoyed the chance to speak with another westerner since there are only around 10 westerners in the town in total!

The Terracotta Warriors were great although our tour did spend around 4 hours there which was a bit too long and I ended up being a bit bored - I think maybe an hour or two would have been enough time. It was great to see them though and although I was a bit worried that I might be disappointed when I finally saw them in the flesh I shouldn't have worried. Perhaps they could have made a bit more effort to make them presentable so that you could get up close to see them but it's basically an archeological dig site that's still in progress so I won't complain too much!

There wasn't really too much else to see in Xi'an so I took the overnight train to Beijing which was going to be my last stop in China before I set off back to Europe.

It was good to be back somewhere I was familiar with but I still had a few places that I wanted to visit. I went to the Great Hall of the People which I suppose is the Chinese parliament building. It looked very grand from the outside but inside it was a bit underwhelming with frayed carpets and generally a tired feel to it. It was nice, but there was nothing grand or impressive about it. I suppose the Chinese Communist Party make all their decisions in darkened, smoky rooms so they have no real need for a parliament building...

The next day I went to the Military Museum and spent a fantastic few hours looking at tanks and missiles and rifles and things. It was great. They had missiles cut in half so you could see how they worked and they also had a massive selection of handguns and machine guns and revolvers and basically all the kinds of toys that you wanted when you were a kid. The rest of the museum was dedicated to Chinese conflicts of the past but it was all in Chinese so I didn't have much of a clue what was going on. I had a brief sortie around the place looking at the pictures but after all the weapons and stuff it was a bit dull. I totally recommend a visit though if you're a big kid.

I finally got around to seeing the Great Wall as well. I'd been meaning to see it ever since I first landed in Beijing in mid-April but somehow never got around to it so yesterday I joined a tour out to one of the restored sections of the wall. I was expecting to be disappointed but I absolutely wasn't. It's just so impressive and the scale of the achievement of building it is there to see. It must have been a massive undertaking.

We took a cable car up the hill (about 1000 metres up - we could have walked but our guide told us we were short of time) and at the top you could see hills into the far distance and the wall perched along the top of them. The pictures don't do it justice (and nor do they show the steepness of the bit that I climbed - I was mildly out of breath by the time I got to the top - thank goodness for my Olympian fitness). I was glad that I'd finally seen it and I should get another chance tomorrow since the Trans-Siberian goes under the wall before we reach Mongolia.

And so that's China for me!

I'm not sure when I'll next get the chance to post - probably when I'm back in the UK so I hope you'll all manage to keep a meaningful life going in the interim.

All the best,
Gregor

More photos

2006-05-13T08:01:00.000Z

Just a quick note to say that I've updated my photo site with the pictures I took in Tibet. They're available here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/gregorontour

From Tibet to Kunming

2006-05-12T06:48:00.000Z

Hello!

This is getting to be a bit of a habit us bumping into each other like this. So how have you been?

Me?? Well, as you know I'm faffing around in China and generally poking my nose into other people's business. I was in Tibet last week you know? Yes, it was quite nice but pretty different to China.

In fact, whilst it's part of China officially it's really quite different culturally, even after over 50 years of Chinese rule. Seeing the Chinese flag flying seems to be awfully out of place because the people look different, they still use their own language (despite Chinese efforts to wipe it out) alongside mandarin and their culture seems to be a million miles removed from the Chinese. Having said that, it's not all good. The hygiene there is even worth than in China and they seem to be completely averse to washing. Some of the people in Tibet, especially outside Lhasa haven't washed for ages (I think I read somewhere that they take a bath once a year) and so they have a particular fragrance that isn't overly nice. It's not totally surprising though because in my week there I didn't manage to have one hot shower. I had plenty of cold showers but considering that they don't seem to have heating either then it was a fairly uncomfortable week.

Anyway, when I was in Chengdu my airport taxi guy picked up two other people from other hostels on their way to Tibet - once was a English woman who'd started travelling after her partner had died and had been on the road for 8 months and the other was an American/South Korean guy who lived in Tokyo. We got chatting and when we arrived in Tibet we decided to hire a 4x4 and driver to take us to Everest Base Camp in Tibet (there are two base camps - one for the north face in Tibet and one for the south face in Nepal - I was meant to be trekking to the Nepalese one but of course it was cancelled). So we paid our money, met our driver who spoke no English and checked out our Land Cruiser which had no seatbelts and had 4 tyres that may have once had tread but certainly didn't now. Our driver was happy enough to drive us there and most of the other Land Cruisers looked pretty similar so I decided that we wouldn't get a much better option.

I spent the rest of the day at the Potala Palace which I found pretty dull but I'm not a Buddhist and so didn't have a clue what it was all about, and walking around generally experiencing Lhasa. It's quite a place. They have no issues whatsoever about begging for anything so they're always pestering you and there were loads of pilgrims prostrating themselves in front of the Potala Palace and while walking round the Jodphur Temple. It's a very holy site for Buddhists and they believe that if you walk clockwise round it a number of times then you'll be healed of some of your ills or you'll increasing your chance of reaching nirvana or something- I didn't really understand it. But they were well into it with their prayer wheels and chanting and sliding along the ground and stuff. I'm not making fun of it but it did seem a little odd. However, the whole reason for me to go travelling is to see how other people live and experience their culture (and not just to get 6 months off work - although that's nice too).

I had a headache from the altitude (Lhasa is around 3700m) but by the time the driver picked us up at 7:30am the next day it'd gone. We set off for a place called Shigatse where we would stop for lunch. The drive was very pleasant along a nice smooth road with some fantastic hills and glacial rivers although it was a bit cloudy and we were a bit worried that it would be like this all the way to base camp (or EBC as I'm now going to call it). EBC looked like the same distance again from Shigatse and I couldn't quite understand why it would take 4 days to get there and back on such a smooth road when we were making so much time but I was soon to find out.

We had lunch and jumped back in the car to go to a place called Latse where we scheduled to spend the night. The road was a little bit worse but nothing major and we got there around 5pm. Eager to make as much time as possible, our driver asked if we wanted to spend the night in Tingri which would make the journey quicker the next day. Apparently it would take 2 hours so after checking the maps and things we decided that we would since there didn't look like there was much in Latse.

At this point the road appeared to cease to exist and we spent two hours driving through what can only be described as a muddy building site and quarry where they seemed to be doing constant work on the 'road' which was just a track that had been flattened through the mud. At one point there was a traffic jam behind a lorry which had left the road and got stuck in a muddy ditch, blocking the road. Somehow we managed to squeeze past and be on our way but a little further down there was another lorry which had completely left the road and rolled over onto it's roof. There was nobody around so it must have happened a while ago and the cab looked intact so I guess everyone was OK. Still, I fastened my imaginary seatbelt and felt much safer.

The road was like this all the way to the Qomolangma National Park (Qomolangma is the Tibetan name for Mount Everest) where we reached 5200m and continued like this until we descended to around 4200m and to Latse.

When we got to our appointed hotel (which didn't happen to be in Tingri but in a place called Shegar - long story but we were basically misled by our crafty driver) we were taken to this room which could really only be described as filthy. I had no doubt that we would be sharing the room with various other rabid and diseased occupants and while I would have stayed there if we had no other choice, we left to find another hotel. We found one that was happy to rip us off since they were basically the only other deal in town. But it was OK, if rather cold (in fact it was freezing cold) and I slept in my clothes that night. Of course, there was no heating or hot water - oh how glad I was to experience the authentic Tibeten way of living.

The next day we paid an extortionate sum for our breakfast and then set off to EBC. The weather was fantastic and the sky as clear as could be. The road itself was spectacular. We basically drove up a never ending series of hairpin bends until we reached the top of this hill, again around 5200m and as we drove round the corner at the summit we saw Everest majestically towering over all the other mountains in the vicinity. It was dramatic and it was breathtaking - what a fantastic view and what an exceptional mountain. It had the familiar stream of snow blowing from the summit (apparently because the summit just manages to peak into the jetstream) and was surrounded by other snowcapped peaks (including the 4th and 7th largest mountains in the world). Of course, I went camera crazy and shot loads of pictures and a little video too. The fact that you just drive round a corner after being surrounded by brown dusty hills and are then faced with this incredible view makes it all the more spectacular. We jumped back in the car exhilarated and keen to get to EBC.

Unfortunately our driver somehow managed to get into some kind of race with one of the other Land Cruisers and took off down the mountain in pursuit of the guy. He managed to overtake him on one of the bends but then the other guy came off the road and tanked straight down the hill, missing out the road for a bit. Our driver found this to be an excellent idea and followed suit as his passengers all explored the upper-range of their voices with various involuntary squeaks and screams - much to his amusement.

In all honesty, it was great fun and I didn't feel that scared - he was actually a very good driver and tyre tread wouldn't have been much use on this terrain anyway since it was just a dusty track. All the same, I was quite glad when we stopped for the loo and the other guy got away.

The bad side of the trip was that it was a bit of a tourist trap and they used as many ways to get as much money out of you as possible. From the inflated hotel prices to having to buy a permit to leave Lhasa, a permit enter the park, a permit for a vehicle to enter the park and then having to take a bus instead of your car to the Rongbhuk Monastery (the highest monastery in the world, just 6km from EBC and where there was a guest house where we would be spending the night) - it was all designed to get as much money out of tourists as possible.

Anyway, we piled on the tourist bus for the 45 minute drive to the monastery but by this time the cloud had come in and view wasn't so great and it was getting pretty cold. When we arrived we got a room at the guest house (which, if I may be so bold, was a dump and exceptionally cold) and dumped our stuff. The guesthouse was clean but draughty and the lights came on and went off whenever the owner decided - much like in a prison. Of course there were no showers and there was no heating either. By the way, Michael Palin in his book 'Himalaya' said that the toilets at the guest house were the worst he's ever used and while I don't have the experience he does, I'd have to agree with him. Let me just say that you had to be careful where you stepped and I'll leave it at that.

Getting to base camp was yet another way of getting money from us since you could walk it (not a great idea when you've just arrived at 4900m but not impossible - I was actually quite keen but my partners weren't) or you could get a donkey cart (the so-called 'Eco Bus') for a fiver. We chose the latter and my goodness if it wasn't the most painful thing I've done in China. The cart jarred and bumped its way up the road sending the contours of the road up my spine - I tried not to scream but I couldn't be sure as my body was starting to shut down with the pain. I took it like a man though and didn't cry. I was very glad when we arrived at base camp though.

Now, everybody told me that base camp was a dump and they were spot on. Base camp is a dump. I didn't exactly expect hotels with swimming pools and restaurants and stuff - in fact I expected it to be barren with just a few tents, but it was full of souvenir sellers and stupid little tea houses in big tents and stuff. A little further on were the small tents of the various expeditions that were either planning to tackle the mountain or were on it at the moment. It wasn't a let down, since we got a fantastic view of a (cloudy) Everest but I was distracted every now and again as I had to slap a few touts trying to sell me junk.

It was great to be there though, even if I did cheat by driving there but after a while we were ready to go down so we got back into our donkey pain device and made our way back (although we jumped out before the end and walked the last 2km because it was just too painful!).

At bedtime I put on all the clothes I had, strategically wrapped myself in all the blankets I could find and prepared for a very very cold night. In the end it wasn't too bad at all except that I needed the toilet during the night but couldn't unravel myself enough to get up and couldn't summon the motivation to get out into the cold so I just waited until morning.

The next morning I woke up with a cracking headache - presumably from the altitude and general tiredness but once I was up and had drunk loads of water it started to disappear - just as well because I felt pretty dreadful. I was up early though to see the sun rising on Everest and what a sight it was. The monastery had a fantastic view of the mountain so I took a walk and took loads of photos - aren't digital cameras great???

It was time to leave though, so we waited for the bus and when it arrived we were herded on cattle along with the other tourists back to our waiting Land Cruiser and driver (and let me just say what an impressive vehicle the Land Cruiser is - it took so much punishment and didn't miss a beat at all).

Once back in the car our driver took off again and we made out way back to Shigatse where we were due to spend the night. At one point we encountered a Land Cruiser that had crashed into a lorry (at low speed) and was blocking the road. On one side was a cliff going up and on the other was a cliff going a long long way down to the river below. At the side of the road were some concrete blocks stuck into the ground to stop traffic plummeting to their doom. If it was a normal country then they'd just move the vehicles, perhaps taking a few photos but of course in China/Tibet it's never simple and they had to wait for the police to arrive (which would take hours since we were seriously in the middle of nowhere).

However, our clever drivers (and by this time there was a tailback of Land Cruisers) decided that if they demolished the concrete blocks then they could squeeze by so they set to work with tyre irons breaking the blocks to pieces. Our driver would be the first to try and get by so I surrepitiously liberated my passport and essentials from the car so that if he plunged to his death I would still have my passport and might even get a few exciting pictures too!

Unbelievably though, once they'd demolished the concrete blocks (an impressive achievement) the lorry driver jumped in and reversed his lorry out of the way and they pushed the Land Cruiser out of the way too. Don't ask me where the logic was because I don't have a clue. We were very very perplexed. I think they just wanted to break some stuff up and that was a good excuse for them to do it. Who knows?

The rest of our journey to Shigatse was uneventful and I had a lovely cold shower in a lovely cold room in an extremely cold town. But I felt clean and even managed to have a cold shave so I looked a bit more human.

The next day was on the nice smooth road back to Lhasa where I got a room in a youth hostel with no hot water and no heating. I'd started to get used to it by this point so it was no great hardship. I was ready to come back to China though so the day after I booked my flight to Kunming and did my souvenir shopping - buying all sorts of weird stuff.

So my impressions of Tibet? Well, Lhasa isn't really very Tibetan - there's a massive Chinese influence there but the Barkhor area, around the Jodphur temple is still quite Tibetan, even if it is a tourist trap. The rest of it is a bit of a ghastly Chinese import so best avoided. As for the rest of Tibet that I saw, it's very beautiful and less touched by the interfering Chinese (take a look here for more info on Tibet and the Chinese http://www.atc.org.au/ - naturally the site is banned in China). The scenery is incredible although there isn't much greenery. Hygiene isn't at the top of their list of priorities so you see absolutely filthy people but the country is so dusty and hot water so scarce that it's not great surprise that they've given up on washing. Also, the country is just so tough to live in with extreme weather and difficult farming that they're a very very tough and hardy people.

Anyway, I'm in Kunming now which seems really very nice - probably the nicest city I've been to in China. It's very green, not too big and not to crowded and with lots of comforts for me! I'm here for a few more days and then off to Xi'an.

Hope you're all well and keep the emails coming - it's great to hear what you're all up to.

All the best,
Gregor

Beijing to Tibet

2006-05-03T12:20:00.000Z

Hello!

I arrived in Tibet today so thought I should update you on what I've been up to the last couple of weeks.

After I got back from North Korea I had a few days to spend until my pre-booked flight to Nepal so I did all the Beijing touristy things. I missed the sandstorm on the Monday (shame - it sounded quite impressive) but the city was still covered with a light layer of it when I arrived back on Tuesday. I sorted out my accomodation for the next few days and was staying in one of Beijing's many Hutons which was fun but a bit chaotic when you had cars and bikes trying to squeeze down the narrow lanes. I then spent a bit of time sorting out all of my North Korean purchases, catching up with some of the North Korean tour group in Beijing and generally just winding down after a busy week in the DPRK.

The next day I visited Tiananmen Square (it's very very big) and the Forbidden City (a bit of an anti-climax since it's all pretty much the same inside) and went to see my second embalmed corpse of the week when I went to see Chairman Mao. Interestingly, for someone who was responsible for the death of tens of millions, he still manages to command lots of respect and there were many people from all generations bowing at his statue and queueing to see his body.

One day I hired a bicycle which must have been about 300 years old and weighed about 10 tonnes and went off on a cycle around Beijing - not a task to be taken lightly considering the volume and quality of Beijing traffic. But it was actually lots of fun - bicycles have right of way so the cars have to swerve to avoid your erratic moves - and I took a trip up to the Lama Temple in the northern part of the city. It was pretty much like any other temple but it was good to see it and tick it off the list. That evening I went to see the Chinese Acrobatic Troupe who were really good - extremely talented but some of the girls were quite awfully ugly which ruined it a bit...

Another day I made an attempt to go to the Summer Palace but I was feeling a bit off colour that day so I abandoned it and just went back to the hostel to relax (plus I couldn't find the bus to take me there!). In the back of my mind was the Nepal trip and the would it/wouldn't it happen scenario. The tour company were to decide whether to cancel or not the day before I was supposed to fly to Chengdu (and then on to Kathmandu) so it was a bit of a nervous time. In the end they decided to abandon it which was probably the best move but I decided I would go to Chengdu anyway and perhaps go to Tibet or somewhere.

I ran out of time to do all the Beijing stuff so I still have to do the Great Wall and the Summer Palace. I get back to Beijing a few days early so that I can do the Trans-Siberian so I'll squeeze them in then.

Unfortunately the next day I woke up and didn't feel at all well. I had what turned out to be a bladder infection which wasn't very pleasant and I wasn't too keen on flying. But I decided to go anyway and once I'd go to Chengdu and found a place to stay, I took a couple of days to sweat it out (and sweat I did - it was quite disgusting). I thought it'd gone but it hadn't so I've started to take the antibiotics that I have with me and they seem to be doing the job.

Chengdu was a pretty decent place to just relax for a while and the hostel was quite easy going. It was very very hot though - around the 32-35C mark so I was forced to dig out my shorts and scare the locals. I met up with a friend of Cath's who was living nearby and looking after rescued bears - she was pretty sick of Chengdu though and counting the days until she could leave. I can understand that though - the Chinese could quite easily wear you down so we spent and evening complaining about all of the bad things in China.

I also visited the Giant Panda Breeding Research Centre and took lots of pictures of Giant Pandas chilling around and eating bamboo and stuff. It was quite cool and if you wanted you could get your picture taken with a panda but they wanted 50 quid so I didn't bother.

And so today I arrived in Tibet. I was up at 4:30am to get the flight and arrived here at 10:30am. I'm already sunburned and have a headache from the altitude but it's not too bad so I'm quite relieved really. I've met up with some people and we've booked a trip to Tibetan Everest Base Camp which might make up for the disappointment of not making it to the Nepalese Base Camp.

Tibet seems really nice but Lhasa is a bit of a mix. Parts of it (the Barkor area) are just like I expected Tibet to be and other parts are just like China, which is very sad because the Chinese are just forcing their culture upon the Tibetans. It was sad to see the Potala Palace with a Chinese Flag flying on top but that's just the way it is at the moment and nobody at government level seems to be too concerned about the Chinese attitude to Tibet.

Anyway, I'll let you know more about Tibet as I find it - I'm away for 4 days while I do base camp so don't cry if I don't respond to your emails!

All the best,
Gregor

North Korea - Part 2

2006-04-28T11:11:00.000Z

The next day we were taken to the Kumsusan Memorial Palace in Pyongyang which is the mausoleum of the president Kim Il Sung. I don't know the history of the building - whether it was constructed specifically to hold his corpse or whether it was his residence and was converted after he died, but it was a vast marble-lined palace - effectively empty except for his body and a room detailing his awards and gifts from other countries. There were hoards of people outside, barely speaking and all dressed in their best clothes (I even had to buy a shirt and tie in Beijing before I left).

When we entered we stepped onto a travelator which carried us at a pre-determined speed through the palace to give us time to contemplate that great acts of the great man. It's easy to joke about it but to the North Korean people this man commands deep respect and it would extremely rude to joke around just because you think he's a vile murdering egomaniac, so we politely kept quiet and did what was expected of us - we could save our comments about him for when we got to China.

As we got deeper into the building, rousing fanfare music playing on a continuous loop got louder and louder and we entered a room with a massive portrait of the president. The whole atmosphere was of deep reverence and as strange as it sounds you did get carried along with it a bit. We were led into the room with his body - the light was low and he was lying in a glass case, covered with a sheet from below the shoulders. We walked round the body in groups of four and were expected to bow four times, at the head, each side and his feet before we were led out.

We were given a portable audio player which told of his last days and which bordered on the ludicrous. I don't remember the exact words but it was something like the citizen's tears formed rivers which carried him to heaven or some such nonsense. It was delivered by an Englishman who was either deranged or just a comical genius - I couldn't decide. The same speech was given in Korean by female guides and many of the Koreans in the room were in tears.

This last point was very interesting to me because I remember in 1994 when Kim Il Sung died, the news reports showed pictures of throngs of people weeping in the streets, and not just a few tears either - they were really getting stuck in and collapsing and screaming and everything. The reporter said that it was unclear if it was staged or not but it was pretty clear to me that it must have been because it's just not a typical reaction you see to the death of a world leader. But, as I saw these women crying over 10 years after the event I did start to wonder whether that outpouring of grief in 1994 was actually genuine after all. I'm not saying it's normal but if you're brought up to believe the guy is immortal (and apparently they used to start every day asking for the eternal life of the leader) then I guess you'll be a bit miffed if he went and died. Of course, you could say that the tears in the mausoleum were staged as well and I'll never know but from a personal point of view I don't think they were and what's more is that I don't think I saw very much at all during my trip that had been staged. The Korean people we saw just didn't seem to have much interest in us - so they'd have a look at us and note that we were Western but unless you made an attempt to interact with them by waving then they'd just carry on as normal.

Anyway, that's what I think so there we go!

After the mausoleum we went outside to wait and found ourselves in the middle of a Korean military display. I don't know how many troops there were but there must have been a good few thousand that marched past us, all of them singing and I must commend them on their tunefulness - if they fight as well as they sing then they'll go far. Unfortunately our guides weren't happy with us taking pictures up close but I do have some from a distance and they make quite an impressive sight.

Afterwards we left Pyongyang to go to a farm in a place called Wonsan on the east coast. The drive was fun since one of the buses broke down (we were split into two groups) and we had to hang around for 2 hours until they caught up. It did give us an opportunity to go off and wander and take the opportunity to make our guides very nervous. We enjoyed waving at passing army trucks and cars as if it was quite normal to encounter a bunch of western guys strolling along the road miles from nowhere in a country that is supposedly closed to foreigners. Then when we got back on the road it was getting dark and we discovered that the bus had no heating. We were frozen as we got to the hotel and were looking forward to our dinner but as we got to the restaurant it had no heating either. Then they served us some mildly warm fish and some cold cucumber. But of course nobody dreamed of complaining because we were dining like kings while people were starving in this country.

The farm itself wasn't hugely interesting - basically they were trying to show us how the country can survive on its own without any help from the outside (an assertion which is complete drivel) but we enjoyed having a look around a town that wasn't Pyongyang. We even saw a cruise liner that our guides told us was used to ferry Japanese passengers to North Korea for them to meet family members (presumably left over from the Japanese occupation) but it's rumoured that it's not allowed to leave port because it's used for North Korean drug running. Tut tut!

The drive back was far less entertaining and thankfully it was still light when we arrived in Pyongyang - after the long drive through the fields and general nothingness of the North Korean countryside, Pyongyang was quite the little thriving metropolis and all the statues, towers and grand buildings were floodlit giving the city a very pleasant look. It was certainly a different look to the place when we first arrived because most of the city was in darkness - probably in the midst of yet another blackout. It can't be denied though that Pyongyang at night is a sight worth seeing - and with barely any traffic and no McDonalds or Starbucks then you have to see its attractions.

The next day was one of the largest events in the North Korean calendar - the birthday of the Great Leader Kim Il Sung. Quite what was going to take place today nobody seemed to know but Pyongyang was in celebratory mood. As usual we woke up to revolutionary songs at 7am blasting across the entire city (call me picky but if that happened where I live I'd be out there in the middle of the night with a sledgehammer demolishing those speakers) and we set off to do some sight seeing around Pyongyang. First stop was the Juche tower - Juche being the principle of 'self-reliance' developed by yes, you've guessed it, the big Kim I-S coming atcha. We got the lift to the top and then I saw perhaps one of the scariest things I've ever seen. You see, we had a cameraman following us around all the time in the hope that he could sell us a DVD at the, shall we say ambitious cost of 40 Euro each after the tour. He was quite a character and could generally be seen in his black head to toe outfit racing ahead of us to capture us walking, or standing, or his particular favourite: walking over a bridge. He often complained that he was very hot which was unsurprising because he was always running somewhere in search of his next cinematographic (now there's a word!) masterpiece and he often embellished it by hiding behind some flowers so you would get a sort of out of focus flutter flower in the foreground. Kim Jong Il (a renowned movie buff, even if he has dire tastes) would have approved of this talented individual. Anyway, at the top of the Juche tower he decided that his best angle was to be found from clambering onto the 6 inch wide wall and crouching down to the height that he would have been had he been standing up. Ignoring the 150 foot drop, he climbed onto the wall one handed, camera in the other hand, in a style reminiscent of a drunk man trying to tie his showlaces and shot his two seconds of footage - footage of 10 very pale westerners with jaws agape wondering if they were about to see our cameraman die for his profession. In anticipation of 250 quid from "You've Been Framed" I whipped out my camera but alas he survived.

We spent the rest of the morning going to various statues and stuff that celebrated Kim and his triumphs and great acts and all the rest of it before heading to a park for a stroll. The park was full of North Koreans who it appeared had spent the day celebrating and who were now rather jolly and quite frankly completely hammered. They were all dancing and having a great time (apart from the unconscious ones) and they all seemed incredibly relaxed. They received us warmly and before long those of us that didn't have their wits about them were dragged into the dancing - much to the amusement of the locals, since we didn't have a clue how to dance and were making prize fools out of ourselves (not me of course - for a start I managed to avoid the boozed up 150 year old women that were prowling around and secondly I am a formidable dancer). It was a special experience - everybody on the tour felt the same and it was probably one of the highlights of the trip for me.

We went to see a Mass Dance in Kim Il Sung square but I'm not sure if it materialised or not. We definitely saw about 20,000 people dancing but we were told that this was a rehearsal so we went into the art gallery to look at some revolutionary paintings about Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il. All around the city were photos of the pair of them in a school or in a factory or a hospital or something. And usually it said something about them offering 'On the spot guidance' which was a term that we came to love. The fact that they could just turn up and tell some scientists how to do their job was ridiculous but if you can do no wrong then you can say what you want. When we came out the rehearsal was still going so we went off for dinner and then went back to the hotel.

Our last day we were all pretty tired from the hectic week we'd had - the schedule was pretty tiring but very fulfilling and after the day we'd had yesterday then it would take a lot to beat that. We started by visiting the Revolutionary Martyrs Cemetery which is where Korean War Heros are buried (including the wife of Kim Il Sung who apparently did some ambiguous heroic task during the war). It was very nice though - perched up upon a hill overlooking the city, each grave had a bronze bust of the hero in question with the facial features as close to the individual as possible.

Afterwards we went off to see an old temple but I wasn't really too interested by this point - I wanted revolutionary propaganda and weirdness!!! Finally we went to see the birthplace of Kim Il Sung which looked like it had been built from new and had lots of pristine tools and things. I don't think many people believed it was genuine but we politely listened.

And that was our last full day in Pyongyang. The next day was an early start to get the train to China. The journey was interesting because you got a glimpse of what North Korea is really truly like behind the mask. There were apartment blocks that were completely run down and barely any roads, just muddy tracks - even as a main street. Obviously we didn't see much but it looked like tough living, and in winter it must be unbearable.

Before long we were at the border and after a speedy 2 hour customs check of the train we were into China. The difference between the countries couldn't have been more stark - as we crossed the river into Dandong (a city that sells its tourism based on its proximity to DPRK) we could see glitzy neon lights and high rise buildings. As we looked back into DPRK we could see muddy fields and darkness.

I've missed out a few things that we did - mainly because I forgot what day we did it on. We visited the USS Pueblo which is an American ship the DPRK captured while it was spying on them. Naughty Americans. The sailors were released after an apology from the US but not before they were tortured (not that we were told this last part during the tour). We also visited the Philatelic Bureau and bought lots of revolutionary stamps with drawings of Americans being crushed and things. The Korean War museum gave the North Korean side of the story basically accusing the Americans of being aggressors and it also displayed lots of captured American military hardware.

Well, this was quite the epic blog entry but there was so much to tell and I really wanted to try and give you a picture of the place. Like I say, if you can visit then do because it's not your typical tourist destination and it's an experience to be cherished.

North Korea Part 1

2006-04-26T09:16:00.000Z

Hello!! Or as we say in China: Bonjour s'il vous plait.

Well, I'm happy to announce that I'm not writing this blog from a North Korean jail or death camp - for a start they don't have web access there and secondly I managed to enter and leave the country without being kidnapped or arrested or anything else.

So, I don't want to be too smug but I think there should be a significant amount of humble pie being eaten now. "No tact", some people said. "He'll create an international incident for sure", some other people said. "They'll kidnap him because he's suave and sophisticated and what's more he's got a great sense of humour, blessed with fantastic looks and quite frankly the best bottom I've ever seen", everybody agreed. But no, I managed to visit the place without any hassle and I like to think I gave them a taste of the kind of happy-go-lucky-good-looking-witty-charming-etc-etc guy that they might find on the outside.

Being serious for a moment, I don't think I'll manage to really get across what the place is like. It's not that it's so massively different to what you expect or that it's so mindblowing that it can't be comprehended, it's just that we did so much in that one week that I could write for a fortnight and still only give a brief idea of what it's like. All I'd say is that if you want to visit then just do it. You won't be disappointed and regardless of what your expectations are you'll still be surprised in so many ways. It's incredibly easy to visit (as long as you're not South Korean, American or Israeli) and while it's not cheap it's definitely worth it. Also, it's probably not going to stay the same for ever so best see it while it's still around. I travelled with these guys: Koryo Tours who are pretty much the main people in the UK to visit North Korea with.

One other thing is that the North Korea I saw isn't really the real North Korea. I had glimpses of it - not least on the train back to China, but essentially I was only shown what their government wanted me to see because they're trying to show themselves in the best possible light. It's no coincidence we spent most of our time in Pyongyang because that's the showcase capital and where most of the money has been spent. People are picked to live there so they're generally quite happy and they realise that they're lucky compared to the rest of the country. They need a permit to leave Pyongyang and I suppose (although I don't know) that those from outside the capital need a permit to go there.

Another thing is that I'm not a North Korea expert by the longest stretch of the imagination. I know a little bit about it and I know some of the rumours about their current leader Kim Jong Il but because so little news filters out from the country then I don't know what's true and what's not and I also know very little about the history of the country and some of the major events, especially in the last 50 years or so. So if I come across as a little naive or if some of the stuff I'm saying is just plain wrong then don't bite my head off! I just wanted to see the country for myself.

Anyway, we flew out from Beijing on the Tuesday morning with Koryo Air - the national North Korea airline (which is banned from European airspace apparently because their safety record is so bad). We got an in-flight meal which was pretty good but I quickly lost my appetite when the stewardess came on the intercom to say that the flight was going very well and it was because the president was in charge of the flight. Just to set the picture - the North Korean president has been dead since 1994 although he still fills the role of president, just with a little less enthusiasm.
I was quite glad when we landed with all of my limbs intact and still attached to my body but will admit to a few nerves as we rolled up to Pyongyang airport and went through DPRK (Democratic Republic of Korea) customs. In the event it all went nice and smoothly and we were ushered to our bus where our driver and two guides (Mr Lee and Mrs Lee (no relation)) were waiting for us. Our guides were there to show us around but they were also there to make sure we didn't take pictures of things we shouldn't be taking pictures of. Apparently in the past guides have lost their jobs and worse has happened to them because of tourists taking unauthorised pictures so we were told in Beijing to ask before taking pictures and to give some thought to the consequences to the guides if we thought about snapping a few secret shots from the bus. Clearly it's not a country to fool around in so we were all on best behaviour as we got on the bus and we were immediately whisked away to a school to see what was basically their school show.

Well, this was surprise #1 (of many) on the trip. These kids were really very talented indeed and we were treated to dancing and music of a very high standard - much more than I've seen any any school production in the UK - not that I make a habit of hanging around schools before you ask. The thought came to me that back in the UK these kids would be nicking cars and beating up pensioners and yet here they were in this repressive country working really hard to excel at something. Comparing what I saw in DPRK to what I knew in the UK became a pretty common theme thoughout the trip and in the end left me pretty confused. I suppose food shortages (and I mean serious food shortages - famine conditions in some parts of the country apparently) focus the mind somewhat .

After the show we were taken to a massive bronze statue of Kim Il Sung - the Eternal President and the Great Leader. My history is shaky but I think he was installed by the Russians as the leader of North Korea once the Japanese ended their occupation during the second world war and he was also responsible for starting the Korean War (although DPRK claim it was the Americans). When the war finished (or at least, when the armistice was signed) then he set about rebuilding the country, closing it off from the rest of the world and developing a serious personality cult. So, as you travel around you see lots of statues and massive pictures of him and his son Kim Jong Il. By the end of the trip I was getting sick of looking at him, and what's more is that he has one of those faces that you wouldn't tire of thumping. I didn't voice this opinion at the time though...

We were all expected to bow before the statue and lay some flowers. As the guys in Beijing said, "Go along to get along" and since it would be a massive loss of face to our guides if we didn't lower our heads then we were happy enough to do so. It's quite hard to get across just how much the North Koreans love him. They're brought up with stories about him and all the good he's done for the country, and conversely they're brought up to believe that the Amercians are evil and that all the problems that DPRK faces is because of them. For sure the Americans have a lot to answer for (especially for forcing Tom Cruise upon us) but there is a lot of anti-American propaganda that isn't 100% true. As a tourist I picked up lots of books detailing the crimes of the Americans (or the American Imperialist Aggressors as they're referred to) and lots of stamps of big angry Koreans crushing little American soldiers. It was quite odd but quite entertaining too.

After the statue we were taken to the Arc of Triumph which was constructed to celebrate the North Korean 'victory' in the Korean war. It's a little bit weird seeing these massive glorious constructions when you know that the country is really struggling and where power cuts are common but I suppose that's what comes with having a nutter for a leader.

After the statue it was getting dark and we were taken to our hotel. I was a little concerned about this because I didn't know what to expect but I was very pleasantly surprised. It had about 70 stories and a revolving restaurant at the top and was placed on an island so that we couldn't go wandering off. I expected it to be dead but it was actually very busy because there was a friendship festival on which meant it was filled with Russian dancers and musicians and also with lots of strange communist-Kim-Il-Sung-wannabees from around the world. If you were looking for a definition of the word surreal then this hotel provided it. All week I was trying to avoid mulletted Russian men with crop tops, spandex tights, shirts that were undone revealing just too much chest for any civilised country, sideburns that had been shaved off on a straight line above the ear and women with make up that was applied in the dark with a paintbrush. Imagine Eurovision circa 1987 and you're getting there. The other entertainment was provided by the lift system which juddered and shook its way to the 73rd floor and stopped at whichever floor it wanted to stop at, regardless of which buttons you frantically pressed. In the spirit of adventure I once chose to avoid the lift and took the stairs and ended up in the hotel kitchen, but they kindly let me walk through so that I could get my dinner with everyone else.

The hotel room was really nice - probably the nicest room I've been in on this trip with a great view over Pyongyang and it even had BBC World on the TV (although this got cut off a few days later - possibly because they were discussing DPRK and their nuclear ambitions).

The next day we were up early to go to the border with South Korea and the De-Militarised Zone (or the DMZ as they like to call it). I was looking forward to this because I'd seen Michael Palin visit South Korea and look over to DPRK so I was hoping that I would see some Americans and could shout obscenities and make rude signs at them. Not because I have any view on the Korean issue (although you have to have a bit of a soft spot for a country that's banned Americans) - just that I wanted to shout "Yankee go home!" and see what they did. In the event though there were no Americans to see and not even any South Koreans. I did officially step into South Korea though. There are a series of huts where negotiations took place to try to resolve some of the issues between the North and the South and the demarcation line runs through the middle of the huts. The North Koreans have a door on one side and the South Koreans have a door on the other so because I wandered to the other end of the hut I can say that I have visited South Korea, and for the record it looks exactly like North Korea.

The DMZ has lots of oneupmanship going on - the South Koreans built a flagpole so the North Koreans built a bigger one (which turned out the be the biggest in the world and the flag has to get taken down if it gets too windy in case it breaks the pole). Also the North Korean building that looks into South Korea is something like 6 inches bigger than the opposite South Korean building. Finally we were given a propaganda tour of the 'concrete wall' that the US built in the 70s to stop any attempted invasion but there was no mention of the electric fence that the North Koreans built to keep South Koreans out

I took loads of pictures of course and even got my picture taken with a North Korean General and a Colonel. It was interesting that the Colonel was asking who had been to South Korea and what it was like there. They were quite inquisitive and even our guides were interested in what our home life was like. I found it strange that they could be aware that there was a different world out there that is more luxurious and that is effectively hidden from them but still be happy in DPRK. I suppose they resolve it themselves by blaming all their hardships on the Americans and they wouldn't consider putting any blame on the leadership.

We visited a town called Kaesong, close to the DMZ and which also had a grand statue of Kim Il Sung but which couldn't be called the real DPRK either. We had lunch there and then made our way back to Pyongyang. The drive was interesting though because we were seeing those people that weren't permitted to live in Pyongyang working in the fields and cleaning the roads and things. People in DPRK are split into the Intellectuals, the Workers and the Peasants and we were seeing what I assume were the peasants working in the fields and cleaning the roads. Generally the roads were pretty poor but the road to the DMZ was probably the best road in the country. It was reasonably smooth and pretty much went in a straight line from Pyongyang to the DMZ - through tunnels and over bridges and things - yet another display of North Korean pride.

Well, this entry is getting pretty long and I'm only on day 2 so I'll quit here and add some more at another date!

Poo!

2006-04-25T09:15:00.000Z

Oh well, no Everest trek for me then! They've postponed it until the 7th May but I can't make that date because I'm doing the Trans-Siberian a few weeks after.

But I suppose that it's better to miss out now and do it some other time rather than getting stuck in Nepal. Apparently the guy from the tour company who went out there to see the situation couldn't get a flight back home.

So, I'm in Chengdu now and trying to figure out what to do next. Tibet is a short hop away so I think I'll head there but I need to get permits and things organised. Chine beauocracy at it's best!

Also, I've been writing up my North Korea trip but it's turning into an epic and I'm only on day two, so I'll post what I've done so far and then add to it in subsequent posts.

Just a quickie

2006-04-20T09:13:00.000Z

Two things:

First up - my photos have been updated here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gregorontour so feel free to swing by and see what I've been seeing.

Secondly - this blog might not be updated for a while since I'm meant to be going to Nepal tomorrow to do my trek to Everest Base Camp and I doubt I'll get any internet access there.

However, it's probably quite likely that I won't get to go because the Foreign Office are advising against non-essential travel due to all the troubles that are taking place there and my tour company are to decide today whether to go or not.

So, if you don't hear from me then I'm in Nepal and if you do hear from me then I might be a bit grumpy.

Gregor

From Chongqing to Beijing

2006-04-18T08:34:00.000Z

Last time, we heard that our hero had arrived in Chongqing and our readers were left on the edge of their seats whilst he checked into a hotel. Let's see how the drama is unfolding...

Hello!

I'm in Beijing now after going to Shanghai, Beijing, North Korea and back to Beijing again (just arrived this morning). I'm falling further and further behind in updating my blog but I have a few spare hours now so can catch up on the housekeeping.

After the dodgy hostel in Yichang and the boat trip I decided that I needed a bit of luxury so I pushed the boat out and checked into a more expensive hotel than usual and had a ridiculously extravagant shower and a well deserved lie in. The next day I went out to see Chongqing and was surprised by just how big the place is. I'd never really heard of it before but it has a population of around 3 million people (or 15 million people if you believe this site http://www.paulnoll.com/China/Population/population-cities.html - Chongqing is a bit of an anomaly in China so different people measure the population in different ways). I heard a statistic the other day that the UK has 5 cities with over 1 million people and China has 94 cities with over 1 million people.

Anyway, it was a nice place to chill out for a bit and while I was still pretty much the only western person there (apart from an old, seriously lost looking European couple) I didn't seem to attract quite as much attention as I had in some of the other places I'd been to so it was a bit more relaxing. Because I was pampering myself for the day I went to Pizza Hut for the first time on this trip and stuffed my face with pizza and ice cream. It was great!

I rolled out of the restaurant and went to book my plane ticket to Shanghai. I was going to go to Xi'an but decided that I'd go to Shanghai and try to sort out my Russian visa at the embassy there and then head up to Beijing for my North Korea trip. I managed to get a flight the next morning at 7:30am so I did some of the sights of Chongqing, one of which included a cable car ride across the Yangzi river - although the pollution was so bad that you couldn't make much out and then I had an early night so that I could get a taxi early in the morning. I wasn't sure if there would be any around but I could worry about that later.

Just as I was going off to sleep the phone in my room rang and a strange Chinese woman was on the line. I'd heard about this before and assumed it was a prostitute offering her services so I just unplugged the phone and tried to get to sleep. Then the phone in the toilet rang so I had to get up to unplug that as well - I double locked the door too just in case she burst in and forced herself upon me as most women tend to do when they see me.

My alarm went off at 5am and I went downstairs to check out and try and find a taxi. There was no one at reception but the security guard went off and came back with a woman in a hotel outfit with her pajamas protruding from underneath her suit so I guess I must have got her out of bed. She didn't seem too pleased but I was lucky enough to not really care less.

As it happens, I got a taxi really easily but as we got to the airport I could see that the lights were off and there was no one around except for one or two people hanging around outside. For a moment I thought that he'd brought me to the wrong airport and I wondered whether to even get out of the taxi but I guessed that the airport was just shut so I got out and waited. Eventually the doors opened so we piled in but it was quite strange sitting around while the airport woke up around us with lights flickering on and departure boards coming to life.

The flight was pretty uneventful and I got into Shanghai easily but a combination of a woefully inadequate Lonely Planet map and my stupidity meant that I wandered around Shanghai for 45 minutes until I managed to find somewhere to stay. In the end I was quite lucky since I got a reasonably cheap dorm room which was empty for all but one of the nights of my stay and it had a TV with Star Movies that was showing a James Bond movie marathon type thing each evening so I could catch a movie before I went to sleep.

Shanghai seemed pretty cool. I expected it to be like Hong Kong but it wasn't quite as manic and was a lot more spacious. My hostel wasn't far from the main shopping/tourist street that led down to the 'Bund' that consisted of a load of colonial buildings built on the waterfront in the 20s and 30s and in a variety of styles from Europe and America. Then over the other side of the water is the typical Shanghai skyline that has only really appeared in the last ten or fifteen years. As I got the bus from the airport to the town I was amazed at just how many skyscrapers there were and I wasn't surprised to hear that Shanghai is one of the fastest growing cities in the world.

Walking down the main tourist street was quite nice because it was pedestrianised but it was a bit of a pain because every couple of minutes a tout would come up trying to sell you either DVD's, a watch bag or a suit. It was funny for about 10 seconds and then it started to get annoying so I put on my "I'm really grumpy" face which usually works well in the UK. It didn't work so well in Shanghai so I was forced to deliver the odd flying kick to the sternum to ward them off. I found this a bit tiring though so I just ignored them and they ended up getting bored and leaving me alone. In the evening though, the things on offer changed from watches and DVD's to massages, women and sex. For some reason this totally wound me up and I was a getting a bit angry and curt with them so I started to avoid this street at night.

There were loads of tourists in Shanghai and it was quite a change from the last week. If I'm honest I sort of missed the minor-celebrity status I had in the other places but on the other hand it made Shanghai a nice and easy place to spend a few days so I visited a couple of museums and went to the Oriental Pearl tower (essentially a big tower that defines the Shanghai skyline) as well as going to the Shanghai Library to use the internet and look at some UK newspapers. I'm now an official member of the Shanghai Library! There was a restaurant across the road the library called the Brasil Steak House that did a great buffet lunch consisting of giant slabs of various types of meat and potatoes. It was heaven and I was so full up when I left that I didn't need to get any dinner that evening.

After speaking with Cath and the hassle it was going to be to sort out a Russian Visa for the two of us (the bureaucracy in Russia is crippling- especially if you're trying to sort it out from China) we decided that I'd get a firm in Beijing to sort out the Trans-Siberian for me and we would meet in Poland instead. I didn't have much else left to do in Shanghai so I booked my train to Beijing (which involved a lot of pushing and shoving and elbows in the ribs at the train station - it was quite the mass of humanity) and I also booked my flight to Nepal as well since I've got a trek booked there on the 27th April.

One thing that I should mention about Shanghai is the traffic. Quite frankly I've never seen such a shambles (and I've been to Rome) and crossing the road was quite the adventure as well. Traffic lights appeared to be there for decoration and it didn't seem to be too clear what side of the road you were meant to drive on. Pavements were frequently just as dangerous as cycles and scooters came tearing down next to you with inches to spare and you were often accompanied across a zebra crossing with motorbikes and carts. It was incredible and even more incredible was that I never saw any accidents. At one point, on a road where scooters and bikes had been banned there was a traffic jam on the pavement. They were just sitting there blasting their horns at each other and not moving and I couldn't get past, so I climbed over a few bikes and scooters - scraping them with my rucksack as I went. I didn't look back and for all I know they're still there.

The only other noteworthy thing that will stick in the mind about Shanghai was the man sitting at the side of a very busy road having a dump on the pavement. I would have enjoyed kicking him in the face as he squatted but I was too stunned and walked away not quite believing my eyes.

After that it was on to Beijing on a very plush overnight train. I only had two nights there before I headed off to North Korea and most of it was spent getting some shopping for the trip, sorting out currency, getting my camera fixed after it had developed a fault and generally getting myself organised.

I'd love to write about North Korea here but I've only just got back this morning and haven't quite managed to get my head around the place. It's a crazy place, that's for sure but I was surprised to find lots of very happy people and parts of the city to be really really pretty. It'll take me a while to write about everything I saw there so I'll save that for another day.

Until then - all the best!

Gregor

From Yangshuo to Chongqing

2006-04-05T04:45:00.000Z

Hello!

I'm in Shanghai now. I arrived on Saturday (although I thought it was Friday - how your mind plays tricks on you when you don't have a routine anymore) and I think I'll probably move on up to Beijing tomorrow night or Friday night. I'll take the overnight train because I feel I've been getting a bit too much sleep lately and deserve a night in a cramped bunk with a train that stops and starts every 10 minutes with a jolt and bang. I can't wait.

Anywho, the last week or so has been quite an experience and I've been checking out some of the real China and not the Chinese Great Yarmouth equivalent of Yangshuo - not that I'm bitter about the place putting me in the hospital or anything, but it's aimed very much at western tourists so everything there is nice and easy and you're not really seeing much of what China is really like.

So, I left Yangshuo on the bus to go to a place called Luizhou where I was going to get an overnight train to Yichang on the Yangzi river which is the site of the Three Gorges Dam project. From Yichang I was planning on getting a hydrofoil up the Yangzi river to Chongqing and from there I was going to fly to Shanghai.

The bus journey was interesting because along with the usual constant blasting of the horn and various diversions through fields and rivers to avoid wayward cyclists we also had the joy of a Chinese karaoke video, presented at an ear-splitting volume and featuring the Chinese equivalents of Cliff Richard and Gareth Gates. I quickly lost the will to live within 5 minutes but luckily I managed to punch myself unconscious so the journey passed without incident. Actually, the last bit was a mild exaggeration and I spent the journey looking out of the window at some of the rural little towns we passed through. People just sat and stared at the bus as it went passed - one or two people noticed me on the bus and started at me instead. The little towns were these dusty communist little towns with massive TV towers and bizarrely one of them, which only consisted of a street or two had a giant Space Needle thing like in Seattle.

Once we arrived in Luizhou the driver claimed we were at the train station and told us to get off. We (a German couple on the bus and myself) were pretty sure we weren't at the train station but the guy didn't speak English and was adamant that we were there so we got off, figuring we could get a taxi if we couldn't find it.

As soon as we stepped off the bus people from across the street started shouting and laughing and pointing and taxi drivers were tooting their horns at us and things. My mind recalled a sentence in my guidebook saying that foreigners were a novelty in Luizhou and it looked like we were the main event for the evening. It was quite unsettling but I just tried to enjoy it and gave them a wave and a smile. We set off to find the station (passing shops selling roasted dog - lovely) but there was no sign of it - I tried some of my fluent Mandarin on someone but that got us nothing except a puzzled look from him so we jumped into a taxi and the driver took us to the train station which was actually a good 3 or 4 miles away. Pah - next time I see that bus driver I'll register my extreme displeasure with him using the international sign of a short sharp kick to the goolies...

I was relieved to find that the station was huge because my train wasn't leaving until 11:30pm and I had visions of sitting in a dark hut somewhere in the middle of nowhere with nobody else around except the local rapist and some curious rats. Luckily the waiting room was full of people staring at us, including the guy next to us who sat for about 30 minutes with his head turned to face me and refusing to look away regardless of what I did. I gave a nod, and then a smile, and then I tried to ignore him, then I gave him a stern look and he only finally looked away when I delivered a piercing blow from my elbow to his adams apple. What a strange country.

I also got my first introduction to the delightful national pastime of spitting. It's quite extraordinary to be sitting next to some little old lady who then lets out a dramtic "hhrrrrruuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhhhh" hacking sound and then spits the contents on the floor of the train station. To be honest, I was expecting much worse but it takes a bit of getting used to and I find it really minging. Whenever I see someone spitting I'm always tempted to go and spit on their feet or something and see how they react but I've managed to resist the temptation so far. Thankfully the Chinese government are trying to stamp it out and quite often you see people spitting into a tissue or something which is a good first step I suppose, but it'll take a while to get people to quit completely. Much like smoking, which must be the other national pastime in China since just about every man seems to smoke like a chimney. I wonder if the two facts are related?

Anyway, the train appeared and I plonked myself in my bed which was on the top bunk and out of the way of people staring at me. I was glad of the rest and slept OK until we got to Yichang 19 hours later.

When I got there, I went to what I thought was the hostel but was in fact some dodgy old hotel and I got a room there for the night which didn't have a bath or shower (which I desperately needed after a night on the train) and the toilet was just a festering hole in the ground. Not my idea of luxury, but when in China etc...

By this time it was getting dark and I wanted to get my boat ticket so I went down to the ferry terminal but it was shut so I went to get some dinner instead. It was quite a change from Yichang because nobody spoke English, despite this being a city of over 3 million people and also because people just stared at you as you walked past. Some brave ones shouted "Hello" or something at you and then giggled as you replied but most people just stared as if your fly was undone or something (and believe me - I checked. Many times!). I was starving because I hadn't managed to get any dinner last night since the train station didn't have a restaurant and I'd had to survive on Pringles and fruit for the day so I found a decent restaurant and had a bite to eat (which was very nice actually, plus they cooked it at your table and it only cost about 1 pound). Then I found an internet cafe so I fired off a few emails because I was feeling like I was on the moon or something and was feeling a very very long was from home.

When I got back to the hostel I called room service to come and fluff my pillows and tuck me in, then I ordered the continental breakfast and finally set my alarm for 7am so that I could get out of that dump as quickly as possible and sort out my boat trip.

The next morning, the town was more appealing in the hazy morning sunshine. The railway station overlooked the whole town and it looked like some old Soviet city from the 1980s. I found it quite attractive in a strange way with their old concrete buildings and long straight roads and I set off to CITS, the chinese travel people - run by the government I think - to sort out my boat trip. Initially they tried to sell me a 4 day cruise up the river to Chongqing but I didn't fancy that so I managed to book myself on a hydrofoil leaving to go to Wuzhou at 12am where I could "easily" get a bus to Chongqing. I should have known when they gave me seat number "0" that it wasn't going to be easy...

I had a couple of hours to kill so I found a bakery and devoured some cakes for breakfast and then went back to devour some more because I was still hungry. I took a wander down to the river and there were lots of old people playing badminton in the park and doing Ti Chi and stuff. I'd seen pictures of people doing this but didn't realise that they did it all over China. I was tempted to join in but all I could really do were a few moves from the Karate Kid and I didn't want to scare them so I just walked past, sharing a knowing look with some of them who realised that I was a deadly machine and had spared them.

When I got back to the travel agents they herded us onto a bus to get the hydrofoil. I thought they were going to drive us to the ferry terminal but in fact they drove us up past the dam so that we wouldn't have to go through the 10 locks to get to the correct river level. I was gutted - I really wanted to see the dam but I only got a quick glimpse as we drove past it. Mind you, that was quite enough for me to realise just how big it is - I mean, I knew it was big but the sheer scale of it took my by surprise. It's absolutely vast - a bit like standing at the bottom of the Empire State Building and looking up but it's wide as well. Very impressive. Unfortunately, it's environment impact is massive and some experts are predicting that the dam won't be strong enough to hold back the river and it'll collapse at some point. If it does, then Yichang and it's 3 million inhabitants will be washed away within 30 minutes, so I got to the front of the bus and asked the driver to put his foot down a bit.

However, if I was disappointed that I didn't get to see the dam properly then I was exhilarated with the actual trip on the river itself. I'd wanted to do this trip ever since I saw Michael Palin do it in "Full Circle" and in fact the boat trip was the initial basis for me doing this trip because I wanted to see the Three Gorges before they were flooded by the dam. The first stage of flooding took place in 2004 and the next stage is due to take place in July. The scenery was quite stunning though - the guide book said that people have found it a bit boring because they expected mile high gorges either side of them. That wasn't what we got but the scenery was really dramatic, the gorges closed in quite close on either side and it was exactly how I remember it from "Full Circle". It was fantastic and the 6 hours just flew by as I stood by the door shooting picture after picture. Of course, seat "0" didn't exist, but that's no great shock.

What was more worrying though was that there appeared to be no buses in Wuhzhou to take me to Chongqing. A friendly taxi driver pretended to take me to a bus but as we arrived at his clapped out heap of junk doing a poor impression of being a car then I shook my head and walked away. Then a bunch of about 10 or 20 taxi drivers started screaming and yelling at me - I was getting a tad concerned at this point but when I looked at them they were all laughing and giggling so it was just a bit of a joke. I thought - I mentally revised my Karate Kid moves in my head just in case. I walked past a couple of policemen and asked them were the bus was to Chongqing and they told me I'd have to walk about 5 miles into town. At this point a gaggle of Chinese taxi drivers had surrounded us and were taking part in our little conference so the policemen took me to one of the taxis and we all jumped in for a merry little excursion to the bus station.

The thought occurred to me that they could be taking me to some warehouse for their friends to give me a good doing and nick my stuff but as we pulled up to the bus station, the policemen paid the taxi driver, absolutely refused to take any money from me and pointed me to the bus station. What a nice guy! I felt a bit bad really, since I'm pretty sure he would earn a pittance and yet he was still quite happy to pay for a taxi for the "rich westerner" as I'm sure we're thought of. It's often said that the people with the least give the most and he was a prime example.

I bought my bus ticket and sat in the bus station for a couple of hours. I used my best Mandarin to ask the guy next to me where the toilet was and he seemed to understand me so we got into a little discussion where I told him that I was from the UK and that I'd come from Yichang on the boat, that the boat was very ice-cream and that the dog headphones flew from Shanghai. My Mandarin is a bit rusty.

Once I'd got to Chongqing it was getting past midnight, I was tired, very smelly and just needed to get a hotel and a bed but unfortunately I had to get a taxi from the bus station to the centre of town. I had a hotel in mind so I spoke with a taxi driver who didn't know where it was and wanted to take me to his mates place. I did what any good British person does when abroad and repeated what I wanted but louder and slower. This didn't do any good so I stabbed at the map with my finger and basically yelled at him (I'm not great when I'm tired). Incredibly this seemed to work and after what I can say with 100% certainty was the scariest taxi journey of my life, we pulled up to the hotel with smoking brakes, melted tyres, a few slow moving pensioners splattered across the bonnet and a little puddle of something wet in the passenger seat.

Well, this is turning out to be quite the epic so I'll stop here I think. Once I'm in Beijing then I'll fill you in on what I've been up to there and also in Shanghai and Chongqing.

I'm going to go and rest my weary fingers now.

Cheers,
Gregor

This wasn't part of the plan

2006-03-26T04:57:00.000Z

I'm in China, in a place called Yangshuo which is an overnight bus journey from Hong Kong - I know this because I had the misfortune of doing it. The bus got me here but the state of Chinese roads leave a lot to be desired - I imagine being put in a tumble dryer for 12 hours would achieve a similar effect to how I felt when I finally got off the bus. Oh well, I shouldn't complain too much because the bus was actually quite comfortable with beds that were almost flat so you could lie down in them - although I didn't sleep a wink because of the state of the roads and the drivers tendency to blast the horn every 10 seconds or so. I'm pretty sure the horn was facing the wrong way back into the bus and it was all part of some bizarre Chinese joke that was cracking the driver up every time he hit the horn and we all hit the ceiling.

Anyway, it was worth the white-knuckle ride because the scenery in Yangshuo is quite superb. You can check it out here if you're interested: http://www.yangers.com. I spent a couple of days wandering around the town and taking in the scenery and things - there are quite a lot of western people here (in fact, I got the bus over with a couple who are here teaching English) so I've had a chance to hook up with some other travelers and find out what they've been up to and places to go to in China. I sampled the local western food outlets which aren't great but better than some of the other things I've smelt and I've taken plenty of pictures too (A selection of them will be going up here at some point: http://www.flickr.com/photos/gregorontour).

I found a hostel which offered me a nice double room with TV and en-suite bathroom for the sum of 5 pounds a night so I decided to splash out rather than go for the 1 pound a night dorm - which later turned out to be a good decision. I also made plans to go for a bike ride around the surrounding area on the Wednesday with a guy I met and also to go on a boat trip and a hike with a few other people but then on the Wednesday morning I woke up and had been stuck down with an unpleasant bout of food poisoning. I guessed that riding a bike over some rough terrain wouldn't be the best cure for it so I spent the day equally split between lying in bed feeling sorry for myself and in the bathroom - I'll say no more than that. I was quite lucky in some ways because I'd rather be in my own room with an adjoining bathroom than in a dorm and also the China Open Snooker Championships were on TV for a lot of the day so I could just chill out and watch that

It was a bit noisy in the street outside - Yangshuo is probably the most Western town in China and is full of tourists and people selling various items of junk and tat - I imagine it's the Chinese equivalent of Blackpool (if you can imagine that). There was some character wandering up and down the street playing his Chinese flute and generally winding me up. Then some guy joined in with a fiddle except he was doing excerpts from The King and I and the theme from Titanic. I started dreaming up more and more elaborate ways to wipe them from the planet - a man with a lot of free time is a dangerous man. Then in the evening the club along the street started up for the night - my goodness what a noise. I think they were testing just how loud their sound system would go and I can report that it is very loud indeed - if you imagine the sound system from Wembley or somewhere, somehow jammed into your bathroom and cranked up to number 11, no, number 12 then that's how it felt to me. I put my earplugs in (Thanks John) and managed to get to sleep and to be fair to them they did turn it off at 7:30 am so it wasn't too bad

I reckoned I'd be over my food poisoning by the next day and could go and do my boat trip. Unfortunately I wasn't any better the next day and by the Thursday morning when I woke up at 5am I was in such a state that I took myself up to the hospital to see what they thought. I was actually considering jumping on a plane to Hong Kong because I was pretty sure the standard of medical care was going to be pretty poor. I had visions of some crazed Chinese doctor cutting open my stomach and trying to scoop out the virus with his grubby hands and my views weren't moderated when I got the hospital and there were cigarette ends on the floor next to a pool of vomit
and a doctor diagnosing a child whilst smoking a cigarette. If my bowels would have held I would have ran straight out of there but I figured that it wouldn't hurt to at least see what he had to say. He didn't speak any English so after a little game of charades and the use of the international sign for vomiting and diarrhea (you don't see that on Give Us a Clue do you?) I was taken to another doctor in a different wing which was much cleaner and he spoke a bit of English. He had a book called something like "Conversations Between Doctors and Patients in Chinese and English" and together we managed to communicate - the though did occur to me though that he might not quite understand what I was saying and chop my leg off or something. He told me that I would stay in the hospital and they'd put me on a drip - something I wasn't altogether happy with, in fact I was quite concerned about staying there. But before I had a chance to think about it and do a runner the nurse appeared and took me to my room. I started to relax a bit because the room was pretty clean and the drip and everything came from a new sterile packet - no rusty old needles for me thank you very much.

After a while another doctor came in and in good English introduced himself as Doctor Dong from Hong Kong. I supressed a laugh and he told me that I'd have to stay in hospital for a few days while they gave me some rehydation fluid and antibiotics. I protested a bit and he came back and told me that I could go back to the hostel later that day as long as I came back again for more fluid and drugs which sounded like a good deal to me. I stayed in hospital for the rest of the day, went to the hostel and then went back again the next day - thankfully I was already starting to feel a lot better.

On the Friday I shared a hospital room with a Canadian guy called Jimmy who was an English teacher in Yangshuo and who was into his 5th day of food poisoning. Some of his students came to visit and I got the impression that Jimmy hadn't been teaching them English in the classical textbook way. Each sentence from them was decorated with one or two instances of a particular Anglo-Saxon word and whilst it added colour and flourish to whatever they had to say it probably wasn't going to get them too far in the tourist industry which was where they were hoping to work. Seemily innocent sentences such as "Who are you?", "What time is it?", "Ten-thirty", "Would
you like a banana" took on a slightly different vibe to what you might expect. Jimmy just laughed and told me that he wasn't a typical English teacher and that they weren't typical students. It all made for a fun-filled, but crude, few hours and we took some photos of us in our death beds.

Saturday I was feeling much better so went out for a walk with the intention of climbing one of hills nearby - this was thwarted when I couldn't find the path leading up it and that's probably just as well because when I got back the hostel I fell into bed exhausted. Perhaps I had tried to do too much too soon. That evening I went to see a pretty amazing light show on the river where they light up the hills nearby and have loads of singers and dancers jumping about. I haven't a clue what was going on despite being assured by the tour guide that I didn't need to speak Mandarin. The fun was dampened a bit because from start to finish it absolutely poured with rain. The lightening added a new dimension but I'm reasonably sure it wasn't part of the show. It looked fantastic though - you can see some of the pictures here (not mine): http://www.yangers.com/Yangshuo/Liu_Sanjie.htm

So it's not been a fantastic few days for me and I've not seen as much of Yangshuo as I wanted to but I'm a bit sick of it now - the food posioning incident kind of robbed me of my momentum and now I just want to get moving onto somewhere else so I can start again. So I've booked a train ticket for Tuesday when I go to Yichang on the Yangtzee river and next to the massive 3 Gorges Dam construction project. I hope to get a hydrofoil through the dam (I assume there is a lock and we don't need to jump it) and down the river to Chongqing where I'll decide where to go next.

Again, thanks for the emails and keep them coming- I'm not fantastic at replying to them straight away but will get around to it eventually and it's great to hear from you all while I'm away.

All the best,
Gregor

"Schumacher doesn't tolerate fools"

2006-03-17T11:56:00.000Z

Hello! Well, I've made it to Hong Kong and more amazingly Ive managed to organised myself enough to be able to update my blog. I've not quite managed to update my google map though because the terminal I'm using (free internet access in my hostel - a fine stroke of luck) is using the Cantonese language so I'm navigating the menus and such like by memory. Unfortunately my memory doesn't stretch far enough to remember how to change the language in IE so some websites (namely blogger) appear entirely in Cantonese, rendering them useless. Well, useless for me - I suppose someone somewhere might speak it...

So, I'm sure you've all had restless nights wondering what I've been up to so allow me to put your upset minds to rest:

Cath gave me a lift to the airport on Monday and I departed by pinching her cheeks and giving her a manly punch in the arm before heading to departures. That may not be entirely what happened but I wouldn't want to cloud your opinion of me by describing the blubbering wreck that I became so we'll just leave it there right???

The flight was uneventful but a bit too long. Being a bit of a cheapskate traveller type, I bought the cheapest flight I could which went via Bahrain and Bangkok. This sounded like a good idea at the time when I was booking it but I started to get sick of it pretty soon. The first guy I sat next to on the plane was an ex-KPMG management consultant so I shared a few PA secrets with him in exchange for some of his peanuts. The second guy offered to arrange my trip to New Zealand for me because he was a travel agent and the third guy lived in Hong Kong and told me all the places that I should go to, so that was rather handy. I also saw Jenson Button at Bahrain airport so I gave him a few driving tips (free of charge) following his poor 4th place in the Bahrain Grand Prix the day before. I think he was grateful but I couldn't really hear what he was screaming at me as the security guards bundled me away.

When I finally fell off the plane I had the joy of queueing for 30 minutes to clear immigration before I got the bus (it was the cheapest - I'm 'unemployed' now remember??) to my hostel. Then I spent another 30 minutes walking up and down various streets until I discovered I was pretty much right outside my hostel. I collapsed on the bed for a bit before going out to explore the place and get a bite to eat.

Well I must say, I thought that London was busy but compared to Hong Kong and especially the area I was staying in (Mong Kok - it made me laugh too) it's like a nice rural villiage. It took me a few days to get used to it and to get into the way of pushing old ladies out of your way and into the path of cars and taxis and things. After a while I started to enjoy it and positively went fishing for old people to thrust under the nearest thundering double-decker.

When I finally got to bed in Hong Kong I'd been awake for around 30 hours apart from an hour of 'airline sleep' which doesn't really count.

The next couple of days were spent exploring the place - quite nice but a bit too busy and claustrophobic for my liking (although I may be whistling a different tune after I experience the mainland) sorting out my Chinese visa, and spending money that I probably shouldn't have been spending but I really really really need a battery and memory card for my camera, and the price is just so cheap anyway!! I got a tram ride to the top of The Peak on Hong Kong Island which was a good opportunity for photos except for it being very smoggy, and I went to see a laser light show from Kowloon which was rather cool if a little boring after 10 minutes. To be honest, most of the time has been spent wandering around and exploring shops and things. They like their shops here, especially clothes shops and there are a lot of fashion victims wandering the streets pouting and mincing and stuff. I've been
firing off many a disdainful look at various mullets and streaks - it's something you can do when you occupy my lofty position in world fashion. And don't get me started on the music. Imagine a non-stop eurovision song contest but without the humour and the talent and you're possibly starting to scrape the surface. It's beyond awful and someway beyond that too! As if to enforce my words, Westlife have just appeared on the television behind me. Luckily I found a sofa to throw through the TV and it appears to have stopped.

No doubt you're wondering what the food is like and I must admit that I am too. I've made the decision that I'll have plenty of chances to experience real chinese food when I'm on the mainland and don't have any other choice so I'll make the most of the access to Western food while I can. I know it's blasphemous to other travellers but the food doesn't really matter to me when I'm visiting other countries so I'll just eat whatever. Oh, stop being so judgemental!! Hands up those that haven't had a McDonalds or a Starbucks or something when they've been abroad?? See? Honestly

Anyway, I picked up my Chinese visa today and I've booked my ticket out of Hong Kong. Tomorrow evening I'm getting an overnight bus to Guilin or Yangshou (I haven't decided - probably the latter) so I'll let you know what it's like. I've heard that there's a really good place there for burgers and stuff so it sounds like my kind of town. Also, I'll fill you in on whatever I've forgotten about Hong Kong.

Missing you all and hope you're all well. I'm appreciating the emails so
keep them coming.

All the best,
Gregor

PS. There's a shop in Kowloon called Wanko. That made me laugh - I took a
photo so we can all share in the fun.

PPS. If you're wondering about the title of this blog - it's something that
ex-KPMG man said to me during our flight (imagine it being said in a very
posh English accent). I had a serious struggle to keep myself from bursting
out laughing right in front of him.

I'm off

2006-03-10T12:50:00.000Z

So, here we are. I've had my leaving party from work, a leaving party with my friends and I've said goodbye to just about everyone I know. All that's really left to do is to pack up all my stuff (which is nicely laid out on Cath's spare bed), buy a few last minute things and then on Monday I'll be setting off. I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm quite petrified at the whole thing, sad at leaving lots of people behind but I'm also extremely excited at the host of new things that I'll get to do and see. Plus I'll get to pick up a whole host of new racist jokes so on balance, it's not a bad deal really.

Pretty much all the stuff I needed to do has been done - the flat is rented out so that's a huge weight off my mind (I'm living with my very accommodating girlfriend at the moment along with all my personal junk - much to her delight!). That'll pay for my mortgage while I'm away so I'll be able to upgrade from £2/night hostels to £2.50/night hostels. Bring on the luxury!!

There have been a couple of last minute mishaps of course: I paid a cautionary visit to the dentist last week only to be told that I would need five appointments to set everything right with my teeth, even though my previous visit last year hadn't shown any problems. After a hollow laugh and an explanation of my circumstances we managed to compress it into two visits and I had the joy of sitting in the dentists chair for 2 hours on Wednesday whilst they administered various painful treatments to my innocent mouth. Luckily I was able to pay them an absurd sum for the privilege so I won't have the unnecessary burden of taking any money to spend on food or other luxuries while I'm away. I was also blessed by a bank machine that swallowed my cash card last night. The bank have thoughtfully arranged for a new card to be sent to my branch in London on Wednesday so I can just pop over from Hong Kong to pick it up. It's simplicity in it's purest form. Actually, it's not a huge problem because (a) debit and credit cards aren't widely used in China apparently and (b) I'll just use my credit cards where I can and pay them off each month with the money in my bank account. I hope this is a solution anyway - otherwise I'll be in a bit of a pickle. As a last minute bonus I've been hit by a bit of a cold so I'll get to spend the flight to Hong Kong (via Bahrain and some 20 hours in total) in a state of sneezing, sniffing, coughing and general unpleasantness. But I shouldn't grumble really as it could be much worse. Every time I've been out mountain biking or snowboarding I've been worried that I'd have a silly accident and break a leg or something. Thus far, touch wood, it hasn't happened so if all I have to complain about is a piffling cold then I'm content with that.

So, first stop is Hong Kong and I've booked my accommodation there for 2 nights (via hostels.com), treating myself to a single room so that I can make some attempt to shake-off the jet lag. I was going to try and find a dorm in an area called Chungking Mansions but I was told by a friend who lived in Hong Kong that's it's a really ropey area. I'm not convinced - not least because it's recommended in the guide book so I'll go and check it out when I get there and make a more informed decision. I'll have to stay in Hong Kong for at least one more night anyway because I can't pick up my Chinese visa until the Friday.

After Hong Kong I'm getting the train - to either Shenzhen or Guangzhou and will probably only spend a night there while I try to figure out how to get to Gullin and then on to Yangshuo which is a bit of a backpacker haunt - I'm trying to ease myself into this trip nice and slowly so will surround myself with other backpackers to start with! After Yangshuo, it all starts to get a bit hazy but I have a bit of a plan. Bearing in mind I have to be in Beijing on the 11th April for my North Korea trip, I hope to have enough time to visit Chongqing and Xi'an, maybe even Shanghai too, but leave enough time to explore Beijing. I want to go to Chongqing to do the boat trip on the Yangtze to the Three Gorges and the massive dam construction project there. In Xi'an I want to see the Terracotta Warriors and catch up with a work friend of mind who is working nearby. And in Beijing and Shanghai I want to do the big city thing (as well as the Great Wall, Forbidden City etc in Beijing). I'm in North Korea from the 11th to the 18th April. This is all arranged and paid for and I'm quite frankly wetting myself with excitement. Literally!

After NK I need to be in Nepal for the 27th April so that I can do the trek to Everest Base camp. I'm not sure how to get there - I may try and go via Tibet or I may just fly via Hong Kong. It depends on how tough it is to get to Lhasa and then onward to Kathmandu and whether the dates are suitable. There's a bit of work to be done to sort this part of the trip out, but it'd be nice to fill the gap between NK and Everest with a trip to Tibet.

I finish in Nepal on the 14th May and I have until the 31st May to get back to Beijing so that I can get the Trans-Siberian Express back to Moscow where I'm going to meet up with Cath. During this time I'd love to go to the western part of China to a place called Urumqi (which is apparently the most landlocked city in the world) and try and squeeze in a few other parts of the country that I'd like to see. I'll need to create another plan for this bit - a sub-itinerary, if you will.

Well, it's a plan of sorts. If I was a consultant I'd be trying to sell it to you as a framework, but let's move on...

In fact, I don't have much more to say really - a whole load of planning for something that I've wanted to do for a long time is finally coming to fruition. The fact that I've got off my backside and managed to organise any of it at all is a little triumph in itself. Without wanting to get too thoughtful, part of me wonders what lies ahead in the next few months. In all likelihood, the answer is probably a few bits of torment and a lifetime of fantastic memories.

I can't wait to get going.

Blimey!

2006-02-13T14:53:00.000Z

Yes, only one month today and I'll be on a plane to Hong Kong. I can't say that I'm not nervous because I'm quite frankly cacking myself at the thought of it all but it's very exciting as well. A month isn't very long and I still have a few things to do but I think that if I had to go tomorrow then I'm basically in a good enough state to be able to go. To be honest, I can't wait! Looking back through my blog, my first entry was in July 2004 and I had an idea of doing a world trip. Things have changed a lot since then and now just under 2 years later I'm getting ready to head off for 6 months. When I first thought about it, 6 months didn't seem like a very long time but now that it's upon me it feels like a very long time indeed! It's easy to plan these things when you're sitting at a desk at work but now it's time to do it and I think the reality of it is starting to hit me now.

So, where have I got to then? Well, when it comes to planning all the stuff I want to do when I'm out there, I'm not very organised at all. I have a big list of places that I'd like to go to but it'll be a waste of time planning it all out because I don't have a clue how things work in China. It's all well and good planning places to visit on a particular date but all it takes is one little blip in the train service or whatever and all your well thought out plans go out the window. So, in an approach that appeals to my lazy nature, I've basically planned that I'll get to Hong Kong, spend anything between 2 to 5 days there (whilst my visa gets sorted out) and then do a 3 hour train journey to Ghuanzong at which point I'll be on the mainland and anything could happen. I guess at this point I'll find somewhere to stay, take the city in then consult my maps and lists and see where I can get up to over the next week or so. Once I get a grip of how travel and things work then I'll be in a position to look at my list and see what I can realistically achieve. Hopefully in Hong Kong I can latch onto some other travellers and we can do some of it together - should make the whole thing a lot easier, especially if I can find someone who knows the country and speaks the language!

Of course, I have a couple of other things planned which I'll need to factor in - my North Korea trip on the 11th April and my Everest trek on the 27th April. The North Korea trip planning is going OK although it seems to be dragging on a bit - I'm in the middle of doing all the things needed to book it though so hopefully I can get this finalised sooner rather than later. The Everest trip is a slightly different situation. I still have to buy a few more things for it but the main problem is that the foreign office are advising against travel to Nepal unless it's essential because it's all a little tense there at the moment due to elections and other nonsense. Hopefully it'll all be sorted out by the time of my trek (the date was pushed back a week by the trekking company for a different reason) but I have to realistically face the prospect that they might cancel the trek completely! Obviously this isn't a good thing so I'll just need to keep my fingers crossed. If it does go ahead then I should be OK as it's a guided trek - my main problem was getting from China to Nepal but I have a couple of options, each of which are fairly viable and I should be able to sort them out in Hong Kong.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned that I've been trying to learn Mandarin? Well, I have but I haven't been quite as dedicated as I should have been and so I only have a very basic grasp of the language that might let me ask directions but not much more. But it was inevitable that no matter how much I tried to learn I was still going to struggle in everyday conversation. I wish I'd learned a bit more and I guess I still have a month left but there's not too much you can learn in a month so I'll just need to try and pick up as much as I can whilst I'm out there and hope that I can find one or two people that speak English.

The only other thing which is causing a bit of a pain is letting my flat out while I'm away. This is currently with a letting agent and so doesn't require that much input from me but it'd be nice to get it all sorted out before I go away.

Of course, this is only the first 3 months. I have another 3 months to plan because I'm coming back to the UK in mid-June for a week or two before heading off somewhere else. At the moment it's looking like I'll finish up in New Zealand where I hope to get a bit of snowboarding in and the only other place I'd like to go during this time is Argentina. Part of me would love to do the train journey across Canada and possibly even the train journey across the Andes. We'll see - it'll depend on how much money I have left and whether I can handle sitting on a train again after 3 months of train journeys in China and the Trans-Siberian home!

So, that's where I am. I remember when I was in America I often walked around marvelling at the fact I was in America and as I sit here now I'm marvelling at the fact that in just over a months time I'll be wandering around China. It's a bit weird and sitting here in London I'm finding it a little difficult to believe what I'm letting myself in for. I'm a pretty inexperienced traveller and don't have much of an idea what I'm going to do when I get out there but I suppose the best way is just to get dropped in it and get on with it. I completely understand that the first week or so will be tricky and possibly a little unpleasant but you don't get lifetime memories from doing lots of things that are easy. I guess I'm starting to suffer from pre-trip nerves but hopefully when I get back I'll read this little paragraph with excruciating embarrassment as I wonder what all the fuss was about. And anyway, if I find that I hate it then I can just move on to another country and if I hate the whole thing (unlikely) then I can come home!

Right, that's enough mincing from me! I've created a dedicated site for my trip: http://gregorontour.blogspot.com but I hope to update both this one and my new one with the same things. My new site will purely be about my sabbatical but this site is basically for any holiday I do and all the planning involved so you lucky readers get to share everything with me whereas the other readers (work colleagues and the like) only get to head about my sabbatical. They'll both be updated with the same thing so which one you choose to view doesn't matter!

Oh, I've ditched the To Do list because it was exceptionally boring!

Until the next time...

Update

2006-01-10T20:23:00.000Z

2 months have passed since I last blogged so time for another update. You'll be glad to know that I haven't been sitting still and am making steady progress but there have been a couple of changes:

I'm not getting the Trans-Siberian railway from London to Beijing anymore. Unfortunately Gareth isn't able to make it and while I could do it on my own, I wasn't crazy about doing the Russian part on my own. I think the whole thing is much better if you either have someone there to do it with or if you're likely to bump into other travellers and I couldn't be sure that I'd bump into too many of them on the train from to Moscow. Maybe I'm not being very adventurous but there we go.

So, if I'm not getting the train then how am I getting out there? Well, the obvious answer is to fly and that's exactly what I'm doing, although I'm not flying directly to the Chinese mainland. I'm flying to Hong Kong (via Bahrain and Bangkok) and I'm going to spend about 6 days there before doing the short trip over to Beijing. Hong Kong is a great starting place for two reasons:

1 - English is spoken fairly widely and there's a pretty strong British influence so I'll get a gently introduction into the whole Chinese thing. It's probably more exciting to get dumped into some rural part of China and told to get on with it but I just want to gently ease myself into the whole eastern culture so I'm taking the easy way!

2 - I can pick up a decent Chinese visa in Hong Kong that I wouldn't be able to get in the UK. That's my hope anyway. I want to base myself in China and do tours to Nepal and North Korea. If I want to do that then I need a multiple entry visa, something you can't get in the UK unless you can get a business visa. However, it is possible to get a multi-entry visa in Hong Kong without too much hassle and I've been in touch with a few places that are willing to sort it out for me. So if I fly there first then I can get my visa sorted out and should just be able to forget about it for the rest of the trip rather than worrying about being strip-searched and intrusively examined at every border crossing.

On top of this, I get to visit Hong Kong which was somewhere I was hoping to squeeze into the trip so that's all good. And I still get to do the Trans-Siberian because I'll be getting it back from Beijing to London, hopefully stopping off in Moscow and St Petersburg for a few days and if all goes well then my girlfriend should come along for at least some of it as well.

So, what else has happened? Well, I've still not booked my North Korea trip because my work is faffing around trying to sort me out with a letter for my visa (I need to provide proof of my employment before I can apply for a visa - I have no idea why). This isn't a bad thing because I'm now doing a different trip to the one that I was going to do because the TSE train comes back before the original North Korean trip was going to start. If I'd booked the NK trip then I wouldn't have been able to get the TSE back (because I have to be back by a certain date for my friends wedding - it's all very complicated you see?). So now I do the trip just before I head to Nepal for my Everest trek - lets hope there's no trouble getting back into China from North Korea otherwise I might miss my flight to Nepal.

In fact, the flight to Nepal is a bit of a pain. You wouldn't think it wouldn't be that hard to get there from China but it's actually appears to be fairly difficult and the easiest way I've seen is to fly to Hong Kong and then via Bangkok to Nepal. It's not ideal but it'll get me there in plenty of time to meet the rest of our trekking group coming out from the UK. I'm not sure whether to book the flights now or not though. I know that Royal Nepal Airlines do a direct flight from Shanghai to Kathmandu which would be ideal since it would mean that I don't have to fly to Hong Kong but I am having trouble finding out that much information about them. I imagine it could be quite easy to book the flight in Shanghai but I'm not sure if I want to wait that long since I'd rather have it all booked and sorted out. I'll need to check it out a bit more but at least I know that I can definitely get there and at the very least I have a plan that works.

I'm doing well on getting all the necessary gear together for my trek. Before Christmas I went for a pretty serious (3 hour long) boot fitting where I tried on loads of boots and insoles and I've since done a fair bit of walking in them without any twinges or blisters or anything so hopefully they'll be fine. I've also been to Cotswold where I bought walking trousers, waterproof trousers, long johns, a decent fleece, an expensive waterproof jacket, some serious gloves and all sorts of other stuff. I've tried it all out (in Scotland) and I'm all nice and snug with it all. My fitness should be OK since I've done a bit of hill-walking recently without too much hassle. The only problem that might get me is the altitude but I can't do too much about that. I've also hired the stuff that I don't want to buy and I'll be able to pick that up in Kathmandu. As far as my trek goes, I'm pretty well organised.

I'm in the middle of getting my injections - in fact I go for my 3rd set tomorrow. Not much more to say about that except that I hope it works - I don't want to be getting Rabies or Malaria or something. I have my final set in 3 weeks time.

Finally, my flat is now advertised for renting out. There's a small possibility that a friend might take it but in case he doesn't I've been getting friends to advertise it at their places of work. I had a few phone calls so hopefully I'll manage to get it rented out easily enough - I do need to rent it out though because the extra income will be very nice!

OK, let's have a look at my To do list and see how I've progressed against that:

Get new passport - DONE!
China multi-entry visa - Dealt with
Nepal multi-entry visa - To do
Russian visa - Worry about that when in China
North Korean Visa - To do
Arrange for flat to be rented out over the trip period - See above
Get medical injections - See above
Book North Korea Trip - To do
Book Tibet trip - Do this in Nepal
Book Three Gorges Trip - Do this in China
Firm up itinerary - I have a decent idea of this - will post it in a future blog
Book travel insurance - Chosen, just waiting until just before I go before I book it so that I get a full year from it
Buy hiking kit for Everest Trip - In progress
Sort out what to do with:

Car and car insurance - Hmm. Sort of in progress. I'm either going to leave it at my girlfriends house or let her friend drive it
mortgage renewal - To do
phone and broadband cancellation - To do
electricity and water cancellation/transfer - I'm renting the flat including bills so can just leave this running
house & contents insurance for tenants - To do
fix leaky window in bedroom and broken light in bathroom - Half done!

Things to add:

Get contact lenses sorted out (I don't really want to use my glasses during my trek)
Visit the dentist (I don't really want any amateur dentistry to be carried out in the Himalayas)
Buy the rest of the stuff for my trek (Lots of silly little things that'll probably be hugely expensive!)

Future plans...

2005-11-07T20:51:00.000Z

The last few entries of my blog have all been about my North America trip and there hasn't been anything about my plans for my sabbatical - in fact there hasn't been anything about it for the last year and for that I must profusely apologise.

But you'll be glad to know that I haven't been sitting totally still and have made some progress on this front.

I suppose the main development is that I've applied for and had approved my sabbatical from work. And you all thought I wouldn't do it did you? Well, I have and it means that I can go off for 6 months (and maybe even longer, but I have to apply for that separately and it requires a little more work from my employer) and when I return I’ll have a job to come back to. My last day at work will be the 10^th March 2006 and we’ll be heading off around the 13^th March.

You’ll note that I said ‘We’. For the first 2 or 3 weeks my friend Gareth, last seen making an appearance in Boston will be coming with me so that he can satisfy a long held ambition to take the Trans-Siberian express from Moscow to Beijing. But because we’re slightly hardcore we’ll be taking the train from London (and in his case, from Edinburgh because he has to show off and do everything just that little bit better) through Mongolia and emerging in Beijing (on what I understand is actually called the Trans-Mongolian Express because there’s no actual train called the Trans-Siberian). For me, this is a good thing because it means that when I arrive in Beijing I’ll have someone there to share the hassle and shock of arriving in a new land and it’s obviously good for him because he gets to do the TSE (as it’ll be known from now on).

We’ve already tried to book it but the Russian agency we tried book it through won’t take international bookings until 90 days before departure time so we have a slightly nervous wait to make our booking. We could book it through a UK agency but they charge a lot more and we don’t really want to spend the money unless it’s totally necessary. Another alternative is just to buy it once we get to Moscow but we run the risk of not actually getting our tickets so at the moment our best hope is the Russian agency.

We’ve decided to travel first class because we’re rather posh and to be fair to us, we’ve done a few train journeys which haven’t been in the utmost luxury and we think we’ve served our time and now deserve to be pampered a little. And anyway, I’ll no doubt be staying in varying degrees of squalor during my trip so I might as well make the most of it while I can. I could go on for ages about what we’ve decided to do with the TSE but I’ll leave that for another entry – perhaps once we’ve booked it.

So, what else? We’ll, I’ve also booked my expedition to Everest Base Camp. I don’t know if I’ve spoken about this before but last year I watched Michael Palin last year travel to Everest during his Himalaya programme and it looked like a great trip. It always seemed a bit pricey and it will be the most expensive part of my trip but it’s a great opportunity to do it so I’ve booked myself on the 18 day trek to base camp with these people: http://www.jagged-globe.co.uk/exp/itinerary/base+camp.html

They look to be pretty good, I’ve heard good reports about them and crucially, they take their time getting there and include a few acclimatisation days so that you can adjust to the altitude. It’s no guarantee that you’ll make it, and everyone will suffer from the altitude, but it does maximise our chances of getting there. Anyway, this trip is booked for the 22^nd April for 18 days. The interesting part will be that I have to get to Nepal somehow. I’ll probably fly but am a little wary of Royal Nepal Airlines….

I’ve also chosen the trip to North Korea that I’m going to do. It’s a short tour which also includes the De-militarised zone and the Pyongyang metro (the two main things I was keen to see in NK). I’m in the middle of booking it but I’m struggling to get them to take my money and reserve me a space! I should have this sorted out in the next few days though. This is going to be very exciting and I hope it’ll be one of the highlights of the trip. You have to ask permission to write a blog on it but the tour company have said that it’s fine so you’ll all get to hear about it. This trip will be on the 3^rd June for 4 days. If I don’t die with Royal Nepal Airlines then I get another chance with North Korean Airlines (Koryo Air). Wish me luck!

http://www.koryotours.com/tours/index.html

I have to come back to the UK in the middle of June for my friends wedding and after that I have no idea what I’ll do. I’m thinking about Australia and New Zealand but it’ll be winter time there so I’m not sure I want to go there or not. I have plenty of time to decide though so it’s not an issue. This means that I have about 3 months in China and so I have to plan my itinerary around this time frame. I have a draft itinerary that I’ve drawn up over the last month or so but it’s incomplete and rather vague. I’ll post it up here once it’s in a state that I’m happy with, but it won’t be too prescriptive – more of a check list of places to go to and vague times that I should try to do it. I think it’d be impossible to stick to a timetable.

The other two planned tour things that I really want to do are a boat trip down the Yangtzee river through the Three Gorges Dam project and a trip to Tibet. Interestingly it’s easier to get to Tibet from Nepal than from China so I can do that after my Everest trip hopefully.

So, I hope you’re impressed – I’ve done plenty of stuff and crucially I’ve done the things that I need to do to ensure that I definitely go – namely got the sabbatical and booked a trip for a particular date. I can’t really back out of it now.

I still have loads to do though and this blog will hopefully serve as a checklist of things I need to do. I’ll add a ‘To do’ list at the bottom of every entry and list progress made on each of the entries – marking new entries at the same time.

I'll keep you updated!

To Do

Get new passport
China multi-entry visa
Nepal multi-entry visa
Russian visa
North Korean Visa
Arrange for flat to be rented out over the trip period
Get medical injections
Book North Korea Trip
Book Tibet trip
Book Three Gorges Trip
Firm up itinerary
Book travel insurance
Buy hiking kit for Everest Trip
Sort out what to do with:

My holiday - Part 10

2005-11-03T13:19:00.001Z

My affection for Montréal took a bit of a knock on Saturday morning when the fire alarm went off at 5am. I pondered staying in bed since I was pretty sure it was a false alarm but the noise was doing my head in and I figured that it could actually be a real fire and perhaps hiding under the covers wouldn't make it go away. So I dragged myself out of bed, managed to partially dress myself and went outside to wait for the fire brigade to do their thing. After about 30 minutes we were allowed back in and I went straight back to bed, muttering words that you wouldn't want your mother to hear.

I woke up at a slightly more appropriate time, got up, packed up for the final time, had some breakfast at the hostel and then went to the train station to dump my bag because I had some free time before the bus went to the airport and I didn't want to be dragging my bag around with me.

It was raining again so I found an indoor shopping centre and spent some time looking around the shops, but my heart wasn't in it really. I'd accepted that I had to go home so I just wanted to get it over and done with but I'd booked my flight for quite late in the day (and from Toronto, so I had to fly there first) so I had some time to kill.

Anyway, I bought some CDs that were quite cheap and I bought a book because I'd finished my last book and spent some time reading over lunch. The time went pretty quickly actually and it was soon time to get my bus. It took me to the airport where I waited some more before getting my flight to Toronto. After some more waiting (air travel can be infuriating sometimes) I finally got on my flight back to the UK. I slept most of the way back and before long I was back at my flat, unpacking my stuff and returning to normality.

My holiday - Part 9

2005-11-03T13:19:00.000Z

Friday - the last full day of my holiday.

I had a bit of a lie in after my late night and by the time I surfaced most of my room had emptied out. I was quite peckish because I hadn't had much of a dinner last night and since it was almost lunchtime I found a nice diner and had a huge breakfast/lunch affair with pancakes and maple syrup and bacon and all of the trimmings. Of course, I couldn't finish it but I had a good stab at trying. Once I felt I'd eaten all that I could, I waddled out of the diner and got the subway to the Grand Prix circuit on one of the islands (Ile Notre-Dame) on the St Lawrence River. The weather was much nicer and warmer today so it was back to my usual attire of shorts and t-shirt and I bravely left my brolly back at the hostel.

I was full of good intentions to walk around the circuit but I remembered that it was about 3 miles long and I'd done quite enough walking the last few days, so I walked a bit of the circuit, crossed the middle of it and then walked a bit more on the other side so that I could take in all my favourite corners (yes yes yes, I'm a geek - let's move on). It was pretty cool and I spent a while taking pictures of the track from all sorts of angles to satisfy my geeky F1 nature - even going as far as to take pictures of skid marks on the road, left over from the grand prix earlier in the year. I had to time my picture taking carefully though because the track was still used as a road by cars, cyclists and joggers and I ran the risk of being run over.

I passed a casino next to the circuit which I subsequently learned had been created out of two of the buildings for the 1967 Expo. There was also a huge bio-dome thing created for the same event that's quite the Montréal landmark.

I walked over to the pitlane and the pit garages and was pleased to see that one of them was open. I had a poke about but there wasn't much to see really. Still, I fired off a few more photos.

One of the cool things about the island is that for part of the year they create an artificial beach in the middle of the circuit and on this particular day there were some young, fit, tanned bikini-clad girls playing beach volleyball with their moronic boyfriends. I went over for a perv (at the girls - although I'm sure the blokes would have appealed to my female readership) and it was a nice unexpected addition to a pleasant morning.

I walked back towards the subway but stopped off at the rowing basin which was created for the Montréal Olympics. I sat in the sun for a while and had a rest whilst watching the rowers training. Once I'd recovered from the exertions of watching them exercise I decided that I'd seen pretty much everything I wanted to see on the island so I got back on the subway and went back towards the city.

I took advantage of the good weather to have another walk around the city and take some pictures in the sunshine and the city did seem to be much more picturesque than it was when it was raining. It's definitely a city that's lived in, unlike Washington, and so there were plenty of shops and restaurants and it had a pretty close-knit feel to it. I suppose being French-speaking makes it quite distinct from the rest of Canada and I can see why Quebec wants to be separated from the rest of the country. I was told that French-Canadians were the rudest people on the planet but thankfully I didn't see any of that and found them all rather pleasant.

Because I'd got out of bed so late, it was starting to get a bit late in the afternoon and having had a nice walk around the city and taken plenty of pictures, I made my way back to the hostel, going via the train station to make sure I could get a bus to the airport - I wanted to redeem myself after the debacle of my arrival.

Thomas and a bunch of people from the night before gradually turned up at the hostel and we sat around chatting, playing pool and in the end we had dinner in the hostel because we were all too tired to go out. As I sat on the steps outside the hostel late at night, I suddenly felt quite sad as I realised that this was the last full day of my holiday and that tomorrow I'd have to go back home to my normal life. I wasn't the only one feeling like this because a number of my new friends were coming to the end of much longer trips than me and facing the prospect of getting jobs and accommodation when they returned home. But I frequently found myself uttering aloud that I didn't really want to go back and would stay travelling if I could. But reality is a harsh thing sometimes and I knew that I didn't have enough money nor could I just not turn up to work. However I knew then that I'd be doing a proper 6 month trip next year, and I'd proved to myself that I could travel without any major problems and meet people that I'd be happy to spend time with, so I was disappointed but in an optimistic way!

And so I said goodbye, wished everyone well, promised to stay in touch and, for the last time - at least for a while, went to bed in a different continent.

My holiday - Part 8

2005-10-25T13:13:00.000Z

And so on Thursday, I was up early once again for my final destination: Montreal!

I was looking forward to this. I don’t know why but I’ve always wanted to visit the place. It probably comes from my interest in Formula 1 racing but even then I can’t think of one specific reason why I had such an urge to visit. But when Bryan told me that he was getting married in Canada I saw it as a great chance to visit and so it was at the top of the list of places on my trip.

Having thought about it, I suppose my interest in Montréal is a combination of the following reasons:

When my interest in F1 (as we in the know call it) was at it’s peak, Montréal-born Jacques Villeneuve was winning and he was my favourite driver at the time. He was the son of another famous Montréal resident racing driver – some say the best racing driver ever - and he had a cool French-Canadian accent which sounded very exotic to someone from Scotland.
The F1 circus (as we in the know call it) stopped off at Montréal every July for a race and it looked fantastic on the TV because it was always nice and sunny. Also the race was broadcast live in the early evening on Sundays, which is a great time to sit down and watch a race.
This isn’t strictly a Formula 1 reference, but when you were watching the race and they focused on the grandstands, there always seemed to be an abundance of gorgeous, well proportioned, nicely tanned young girls sitting watching the race with the bare minimum of suitable clothing. Knowing that they predominantly spoke French made them even more attractive.

Adding that lot into the mix made Montréal a particularly attractive city for me to visit.

Also, today was my birthday. I would rather have spent it partying with friends rather than in transit but it’d be cool spending my birthday in two different countries and on a different continent to Europe.

So I left the hostel, got on the K during the rush hour and spent the journey inconveniencing the commuters with my oversized rucksack before getting the bus from the tube stop to Logan airport.

The flight was pretty uneventful but as we flew up the St Lawrence Seaway I was getting very excited – I saw the familiar skyline in the distance and as we flew over the racetrack I was almost bouncing up and down in my seat with excitement. I could see the familiar turns of the track and decided there and then that I had to visit the track during my stay. The airport was a fair way out of the city but we flew over the Olympic stadium which was built for the city to host the games in 1976. So I was able to tick that off my list of places that I’d visited…

I didn’t bother making a list of places to visit in Montreal, mainly because I didn’t have a good guidebook (mistake #1) and so I didn’t know where to go and what to see. I did have a fairly decent map though which listed a few places so I just decided to visit what was marked on there.

But first I had to get to my hostel so I found the shuttle bus which takes you from the airport to the centre of town. I glanced at my map and saw that the train station was reasonably close to my hostel and so decided to get off there. After checking with the driver that it stopped at the station (it did) I jumped on and watched the city go by. Ordinarily getting from the airport to the train station by shuttle bus wouldn’t have posed a problem to a seasoned traveller like myself but for some unknown reason I ended up in a bus station on the other side of the city with a big fat American women with loads of luggage waiting for a hotel minibus that was apparently going to take me right to the front door of my hostel.

I’m not entirely sure how it happened but once we’d gone right through the city and emerged on the other side I felt I should confirm with the driver that he was indeed going to take me to the train station. His bemused face and general demeanour told me that there had been a slight misalignment of our understanding of our previous conversation and that he was in fact going nowhere near the train station. However, and all credit to him, he took me to the bus station and arranged with the bus driver to take this stupid tourist to his hostel (and the equally stupid big fat American woman to her hotel). To tell you the truth, I was quite embarrassed. I was embarrassed because I was as stupid as a big fat American woman in getting from a major airport into the centre of a huge city and I was embarrassed because I still didn’t quite know how I had managed to get into such a strange situation. I take pride in managing to sort myself out in new places and taking new environments in my stride and yet I couldn’t even manage such a simple task. But I decided it didn’t really matter and the important thing was that I was at my hostel now and anyway I’d got to see the bus station and it was at the top of my list of places to visit. Or something.

The hostel was pretty cool. I’d been told by my baseball loving friend in Boston that Montreal was an exceptionally cool city and that the hostel was really cool and friendly too. And he was right, or more accurately, he was proved to be right eventually.

In the dorm room there was a guy who introduced himself as Thomas and who seemed pleasant enough. I didn’t have much time to speak to him since I wanted to get out and see as much of the city as I could. The weather wasn’t looking great and it was a little bit chilly – so much so that I actually changed into my jeans for the first time in ages and I took my brolly out with me too. It was quite a change after the furnace like conditions of everywhere else that I’d been.

Perhaps it was just me, and the weather certainly didn’t help, but my first impressions of Montréal weren’t exactly as I expected them to be. Everything seemed really grey and depressing, it was a bit cold and windy and I didn’t see loads of gorgeous, well proportioned, nicely tanned young girls as I’d expected and even if they were there, they weren’t throwing themselves at me, as I’d hoped they might do.

I hadn’t had any lunch yet and the rain was starting to get on my nerves so I ended up in a dodgy burger bar with nothing to do except read my map. It wasn’t ideal and I was feeling quite disappointed but I told myself that the weather was making it worse and that everywhere looks grey and depressing when it’s raining (except maybe the rainforest or something, but you get my drift).

So I went out to look around more of the city but it was the same everywhere – there were no giant structures to stand and admire, no historical landmarks, no world attractions. There was the racetrack but I decided to leave that until the next day since it was on an island in the middle of the seaway and I couldn’t be bothered making my way out there in the mood I was in.

It was Montréal, but it wasn’t the Montréal I expected.

Disheartened, I wandered back to the hostel wondering how to spend the rest of my time in this place with nothing to do and I felt a bit sour that such a fantastic trip was going to end on a bit of a bum note and that my birthday was a bit pants too.

In the hostel I went down to the TV room to see if there was anyone and there were plenty but they all seemed to know each other and there were no spare seats so, uncomfortable about interrupting their conversation, I went and sat in the dining area and read my book.

After a while, thoroughly bored and fed up and wanting some decent human contact I decided to just go into the TV room, plonk myself down and barge into the middle of their conversation. It proved to be a good move. Most of them were English and they weren’t together at all – they were just making pleasant small talk – and we got talking about Montreal, travelling and all the usual nonsense that you talk about with people you hardly know. We watched a bit of sport on TV, chatted some more about Scotland and England and made fun of the gormless American/Canadian guy who asked where ‘Welshland’ was.

They told me that the hostel had organised a night out to a local club to see a band and that they were all going. I said I’d go along and by this time Thomas had come down too and he was going to come along as well. Thomas knew some of the people in the room because he was part of a Canadian tour. It sounded pretty good actually. I don’t remember the name of it but basically a bus would come every day or two to pick up people who were on the tour and take them somewhere else. You could choose to join them or stay for a few more days, or wait for a bus to a different location.

Anyway, in the end, about 20 of us all made our way as a big friendly group to a pub for a few drinks before going to the club. I got talking to loads of people and the misery of the day seemed to disappear.

There was a pool table in the pub. This was a good thing, so Thomas and I put some money down and had a few games. We got talking to some local guys who were sitting near the table and they came and joined us for a few games of doubles. When they found out that it was my birthday they insisted on buying me a drink so I was there with a bunch of random people that I didn’t know until a few hours earlier having drinks and playing pool. It was great and I loved it.

Later on, we moved onto the club. It was exceptionally cool for a number of reasons:

The band were amazing. Absolutely incredible. They were a sort of funk jazz band with a hugely charismatic singer, some amazing brass players and a brilliant drummer. The music was all their own material and it was of a really high standard.
They had 10 American pool tables in the back of the club.
There were lots of gorgeous, well proportioned, nicely tanned young girls in the club.

I had a great time. Thomas and I played pool for hours (with me being soundly thrashed by the jammy Danish freak – I also found out that his name was Reto but that he told me his name was Thomas because it’s easier than trying to explain his real name and he didn’t think that he’d see me again and couldn’t be bothered with the hassle of explaining it), I made some moves on the gorgeous receptionist from the hostel (who had a thing for me – I could tell, and the fact that she never replied to my emails was because she didn’t want a long distance relationship ok???), I made some moves on the gorgeous girl from Norwich (who had a thing for me – I could tell, and the fact that she never replied to my emails was because she had a boyfriend ok???) and I danced like an idiot to fantastic music until 3am. The difference between the day and the night was huge and I began to understand what my Boston baseball friend was saying – it just took a while for me to find out. The fact that if I hadn’t wandered into the conversation then I would more than likely have been sitting in my room reading wasn’t lost on me either. Valuable lesson #1 was quickly committed to memory.

And so, after a rotten day and a fantastic evening, I got back to the hostel and crashed for the night, utterly exhausted but happy.

My holiday - Part 7

2005-10-17T09:33:00.000Z

Wednesday was geek day. I’d read in my guide book about the museum at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology which contained lots of robots and holograms and stuff and had planned to spend a bit of time perusing the exhibits there.

This isn’t really the place for telling you this but I’d like to talk about toilet roll holders because I’ve been meaning to add this little nugget to my blog at some point and never really found the time and I’m scared that I’m going to finish the blog and forget to tell you this. So if you’ll allow me to indulge myself I’d like to share some thoughts that occurred to me once as I was answering the call of nature.

North America seemed to have a huge variety of different types of toilet roll holders that worked in weird and wonderful ways, from the simple holder that we’ve all grown to know and love, to holders that contained two rolls of toilet paper with a moulded plastic cover and with exit holes for both rolls of toilet paper. Some of them had handles that you used to turn the roll to feed the sheets of paper out, others relied on a sharp tug to pull the sheets out. Some had perforations, yet others relied on a serrated edge to rip the toilet paper in an approximation of a straight line. Even the toilet paper came in different configurations with different sizes of sheet and variations on perforation.

I didn’t carry out an exhaustive study to see if there was some kind of uniformity within a city because frankly, I wasn’t that interested, but there did seem to be a ridiculous variation in such a simple object throughout the cities I visited and this got me thinking about why this would be. In the UK, a toilet roll holder is basically a toilet roll holder and you don’t get much more variety than that, save for some deluxe models which have a little silver cover that sits on the top of the roll (and which appears to serve no purpose at all) yet in the states (including the state of Canada) they had all sorts of different types and variations.

My take on this is that in the USA you have the principle of the ‘American Dream’ hammered into you from a young age and therefore you believe that if you work hard enough then you can be successful and become a millionaire or whatever, so people are always on the lookout for ways to make their million, either by creating something or improving on something. Now this may apply to men more than women but when sitting on the toilet you get a lot of thinking time, and in something as sparsely furnished as a bathroom there are less things to grab your attention, so these budding entrepreneurs eventually notice the toilet holder and their mind turns to imagining different ways to improve on it in a bid to make their fortune.

The difference between the Brits and the Americans is that once the Brits leave the toilet, they think that it’s a stupid idea and go back to other more important things like making tea and being patronising, whereas the Americans, in their joyful naivety, believe that their fabulous interpretation of the toilet roll holder is the thing that’s finally going to make them rich and they feverishly get to work on making a prototype. And the interesting thing is that since there are all these different types of toilet roll holders in the country then obviously these guys have at least been moderately successful, so more fool me for laughing at them. It does make me wonder what other types of toilet roll holders there are that didn’t quite make it in the apparently ruthlessly competitive world of toilet roll holding.

I could extend my study and see if there is a similar pattern in toilet brushes, shower curtains and bath mats but like I say, I’m not that bothered. I found it mildly interesting though and hope you did too.

Anyway, I got up, had breakfast and then got the P over to the university to check out the museum. I was a little disappointed with the robots because I was expecting them to be zooming around picking up stuff and dancing and all the things you see them doing on Japanese TV but there was just the odd robot arm and some old computers and stuff. The holograms were cool and I was quite impressed with these 3D images of body parts and stuff (stop sniggering at the back). They had some good stuff on photography too which was basically photos of bullets going through balloons and eggs and some time-lapse stuff that I always find really intriguing. As an addition to that they had an interactive exhibit which you had to stand in front of while it counted down and then it flashed a light which created a silhouette image of you on a screen. I had my silhouette created and then for the next few shots I started to be a bit more adventurous by waving my hands around and posing like the Statue of Liberty and stuff. After a few hours I was doing star jumps and handstands before being roughly manhandled out of the museum by some oversized security guards (I could have taken them all on and given them a good thrashing of course, but it was time for lunch).

I started walking up towards Cambridge (home of Harvard University) because I’d been told that Harvard Square was pretty cool with lots of trendy students hanging around and street musicians and things. I’d woken up with a headache, which is never nice, and by this time it had gotten much worse and I was feeling pretty rotten. I stopped off at an Italian café and had a jolly huge steak sandwich in an attempt to clear my headache and also went to get some tablets but none of this worked.

By the time I got to Harvard Square I only had a brief look around before deciding that I felt too rough to do much else, so I got on the V and went back to the hostel for an afternoon kip.

I had a nice snooze and thankfully woke up feeling much better, my headache pretty much gone. I’d arranged to meet Graeme and Gareth (who were still trailing behind me because their holiday was longer and they could afford to take their time) at 5pm in the hostel lounge area and sure enough when I went downstairs, they were there waiting for me. Amazed at how organised we were, we sat and chatted for a while catching up on the events of the last couple of days, made fun of the crazy Chinese woman who gave impromptu performances of 200 year old hymn tunes on the piano, sometimes with her singing along in a key approximately a semitone away from the intended key, and then went out to see more of Boston and get some dinner.

We walked around for a bit and eventually found what seemed to be a typical Boston bar which looked like it had a decent menu which would appeal to our delicate and discerning taste-buds. It was large, spacious and full of suits having an after-work drink so we sat and just soaked up the atmosphere (as well as a terribly unhealthy burger with all the trimmings).

It was starting to get a little bit dark once we emerged so we walked down to the waterfront and attempted to get some night time pictures of the skyline but (speaking for myself) my photography skills weren’t up to much and the pictures didn’t turn out particularly well. It was pleasantly cool though and we heard music in the distance so we walked over to where it was coming from and there was a live band playing on one of the piers. We stood and listened for a while and I must say that I enjoyed the chilled out atmosphere of listing to a band on the waterfront while the crowd of young good looking girls and their stupid buff idiotic boyfriends (who will just end up cheating on them – mark my words) relaxed in front of the stage. It was exceptionally nice.

We then walked the city a little more before making our way slowly back to the hostel. Unfortunately as we walked along Newbury Avenue, the heavens opened and it started to absolutely chuck it down. We took it with good humour but then it started to get a bit annoying before we ended up sulking under an awning for one of the posh shops. It didn’t seem like it was going to let up anytime soon so we just decided to get soaked and walked back to the hostel. I contented myself with the thought that the young nubile girls we would pass in their tight tops would be soaked as well so we’d end up with a nice impromptu wet t-shirt parade but we were foiled because they were all very organised and had jackets or umbrellas with them. Curses.

And then just as we were saturated enough that it didn’t matter, the rain stopped. So we squelched our way back into the hostel and got changed into some clean dry clothes and sat and played cards for a while, pausing periodically to listen to crazy Chinese woman who appeared to have set up camp at the piano. When it started to get late we said our farewells, for this would be the last time we’d see each other until we returned to our respective parts of the UK, and retired to our rooms.

My Holiday - Part 6

2005-09-30T12:26:00.000Z

Another day, another early start. On Tuesday I had to be up early to catch my train to Boston, so I packed up my stuff, delivered a swift parting punch to the goolies of screaming/snoring man and headed to the subway to get to Penn Station.

Once there I did my usual thing of trying to find where I get the train from and then getting some breakfast but I was rather more careful with my giant cup of tea this time and thankfully I didn't spill a drop. The train station was interesting because it seemed more like an airport that a train station, what with it's departure lounges and baggage reclaim areas but I was getting to be a seasoned traveller now so I wasn't phased by this and jumped on a nice plush Amtrak train (note the absence of a 'c' in Amtrak - they can't spell but they make comfy trains).

As was becoming tradition, I got all my books and stuff out and started planning what I wanted to see while I was in Boston. I was making a nice chronological list of places when I looked out of the window for a moment and saw that there was a fantastic view of the New York skyline. So I grabbed my camera and fired off a few shots - they didn't turn out fantastic but they're OK.

The rest of the journey was quite pleasant, going past clean sandy beaches and the deep blue sea of the Atlantic. I was quite jealous of the people lying on the beach and I wanted to stop the train so that I could laze around for the day with them but I had to get to Boston and I generally tend to get bored on beaches after about 10 minutes and wander off to do something else anyway.

Fairly soon we arrived in Boston and I started to feel the excitement of visiting a new place. I got off the train and went straight to the subway (or was it the Metro, the L, the E? - I was getting mixed up now with all these different names for their underground system) and went to the hostel. I got myself checked in, dumped my stuff and went on my way to explore Boston.

When I was on the train planning my visit it seemed to me that there wasn't loads to do in Boston, which was fine by me since I was starting to tire of rushing around and cramming in as much as possible, so my list of things to do wasn't that big. I left the hostel and walked down a pretty cool street called Newbury Avenue which had lots of small independent shops at one end and chic fashionable stores at the other. After that I went to see the bar that they used in the TV show "Cheers" (This isn't strictly true since it was only the exterior that they used but that can be our little secret). I found it a little bit strange, although I shouldn't be surprised that one of the main attractions in a city the size of Boston would be the outside of a pub which was used in a TV show. But then, I was one of the people drawn to the attraction so I should stop being so hypocritical - I'm one of those people that goes on holiday and then complains about the tourists.

Anyway, my guidebook suggested a walk: "The Freedom Trail" which took in all the highlights of American Independence which Boston is apparently famous for. I have to admit my knowledge and enthusiasm for American history isn't great and twenty minutes into the trail I gave up because looking at graves and houses of people I've never heard of started to get boring. Plus it was too hot to be doing much walking. In the end I just ended up wandering around with no particular aim but just experiencing the city.

I have to admit that by this point I was getting a bit jaded and the fun of seeing new places was starting to become more of an effort. The heat didn't help, nor did the fact that parts of Boston were a huge big building site (they were moving a freeway underground in a massive construction project aptly called "The Big Dig" - quite an admirable venture because it would reclaim acres of land from the existing highway to be turned into parkland). Feeling pretty hot and tired I sought refuge in an Irish bar where I was the only customer. I stayed there for an hour, enjoying the air conditioning and chatting to the waitress before venturing out into the heat again. I think I must have been delirious because I thought it would be a good idea to walk across half the city to take a look at the oldest floating warship in the world. You lucky readers only have to read the next paragraph to see what it was like but I had to walk for an hour in the crazy heat of a Boston afternoon to reach it so I hope you're grateful.

It was an old warship that was afloat in the water.

Having satisfied my curiosity and literally not in the least bit excited by it, I made my way back to the hostel. The heat was intense and as I passed the bodies of expired camels and pensioners I ducked into the subway/metro/L/underground to enjoy the air conditioning. I was feeling distinctly light-headed and dizzy with the heat and so had a little sit down to sort myself out whilst waiting for the train. Once back at the hostel I had a lie down in my lovely air-conditioned room and read my book.

The guy in the bunk below me was an English guy coming to the end of a world trip and also a massive baseball fan. There was a game on in Boston that night but there was no chance of us getting tickets so we did the next best thing and went to the sports bar next the stadium to watch the game on TV whilst having dinner. As I found out, baseball is huge in Boston and all the Bostonians support the local team despite the awful name (the Red-Sox ).

The bar was pretty cool with hundreds of TV screens everywhere and lots of very pretty waitresses. I'm not much of a baseball fan but I took an interest in the game and managed to learn quite a bit about it from my new companion. The bar was quite busy with big hairy men watching men in tight trousers swinging their big phallic baseball bat every now and again and generally failing to hit the ball. Since I'm not a homosexual I sat and watched the pretty waitresses with their nice tanned skin, very short skirts and unfeasibly tight tops which are cropped just that little bit too much to give you a nice revealing view to go with your dinner. Unsurprisingly it was the best dinner I've ever had. The food was rubbish though.

Apparently Boston won the match because they swung their bat harder than the other team or something and so, another day over, we made our way back to the hostel where we had an argument with the South Koreans in our room who, incredibly, complained that the room was too cold for them. Luckily, the language barrier meant that we could ignore them and I retired for a well earned nights rest.

My Holiday - Part 5

2005-09-16T07:52:00.000Z

My beauty sleep on Monday was rather thoughtlessly interrupted by the man on the bed above me who saw fit to yell at the top of his voice for short periods of time during his sleep. I shouldn't blame him too much since he wasn't doing it intentionally but it woke me up a couple of times, and when someone yells in the middle of the night when you're asleep it's pretty loud so I woke with a start each time. An additional element of hilarity was added by the Norwegian guy in one of the other beds who, after being woken by crazy yelling guy for the umpteenth time said 'Hey' in a very slow and not particularly loud Nordic drawl which didn't achieve anything at all except to make me chuckle. I would have laughed, but I was too tired.

It reminded me of a time when I was staying in Luxembourg with Graeme and Gareth and all of the rooms in the hotel had windows which opened onto a strange turret courtyard type affair which covered the height of the building. We had our window open to keep the room cool and in one of the other rooms was a very posh Englishman who was having a long telephone call at some unsociable time of the morning. It seemed to go on for hours and one of the French residents in the hotel took umbrage at his sleep being disturbed and so, not unlike a volcanic eruption, slowly muttered his annoyance and then progressively got louder until, with a wiggling of his Gallic tonsils, screamed "SILLLEEENNNCEEE!!!!!!!!!" at the unfortunate Englishman, who responded with a very posh James Hewittesque "Oh, sorry".

Anyway, back in New York I actually slept pretty well and got up to meet Graeme and Gareth who had got into New York late the night before and who I'd arranged to meet in Central Park before heading down to the Empire State Building.

I got the subway to Columbus Circle and I was sitting outside having some breakfast when I spied them on the other side of the road. Being far too cool to wave to people in a public place, I diverted my gaze elsewhere around the park and basically away from anywhere in their general area in case I broke into a huge big smile at how cool it was that we were meeting each other Central Park. As I looked back to check their progress I saw that they were walking away from me but being as cool as I am, I resisted the urge to go chasing after them yelling and waving and decided that they must have been going to grab some breakfast or something and they didn't see me.

After a few moments and a few insecure thoughts about how long I should wait and what if they didn't see me and now I'd have to spend the whole day in New York on my own again and I've not really spoken to that many people so it'd be nice to catch up with them I saw them again making their way towards me. I've no idea where they'd gone off to but I guess it must have been for some forbidden gay love or perhaps to book a prostitute or something. Anyway, as they made their way towards me I diverted my gaze again and resumed my cool posture, imagining that they would do the same. When I looked back I saw that they had spotted me and they responded with lots of waving and making funny faces - clearly they were much cooler than me - I half expected them to give me the fingers and mimic a penis growing out of their forehead, but it was great to see them and we sat, had a nice breakfast and swapped tails of our travelling exploits since Toronto.

Graeme and Gareth had seen the Empire State Building in their previous visits but it was my first time in New York and I wanted to see it. They were happy to come along with me so we made our way down there, hopefully early enough to miss the crowds.

The interesting thing about New York is that the highest buildings look like every other building at ground level and so it's quite easy to walk past the Chrysler Building or the Empire State Building and not be aware of it towering over you. Even more surprising is that it's often just a few small doors that allow you access to the upper floors, the other ground floor space given over to shops, cafés and the like. But we found the way in easily enough and were pleased to see that the queues weren't too big, so after about 10 minutes we were hurtling up in one of the lifts to the observation platform.

Unsurprisingly, the view is superb. The skyline really is a fantastic image and looking at the buildings in the distance, I felt like I did the first time I was on a plane when I felt like I could reach out and touch the clouds. Obviously I didn't try and reach out and touch the buildings because I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to stretch far enough but it was a slightly unreal feeling being so high up and still being able to walk around and feel the wind on your face and still look down on these massive buildings. So, I did as all tourists do and took loads of pictures of the city from as many angles as possible and I also got some random guy to take a picture of the three of us with the city in the background. He approached the task with more enthusiasm than skill and we ended up with an extreme close-up of our faces with a lot of sky in the background but not much along the lines of a skyline. Still, it did the job and the unnamed man will forever be etched in the history as the man who took that really crap picture of us at the top of the Empire State Building.

Having done everything we had planned for the day, we could relax and get back to our normal style of holiday which basically involved wandering around with no particular plan and just seeing what we stumbled across. I was quite keen to see the Statue of Liberty but I didn't really want to go to the effort of getting the boat out to the island, so we went to Battery Park where you can look out onto Liberty and Ellis Islands. We sat around for a bit and took a few arty/silly pictures before wandering up to Wall Street for some more pictures and some more sitting around - after the pace of the previous few days I was grateful for the opportunity to chill out a bit and take it easy. We found a little café and had some lunch and then went up to Times Square in the hope of getting some cheap theatre tickets but when we saw the queue we decided to give it a miss and went to the cinema instead. I wasn't desperately keen to go to the cinema, basically because you can go to the cinema any time you want to when you're back in the UK but Graeme pointed out that you can't go to the cinema in the US when you're in the UK and I found that logic pretty difficult to argue with. So, suitably convinced, we went to watch a filthy, vulgar, hilarious film called The Aristocrats which was jolly funny and a rather pleasant way to spend a couple of hours. Afterwards we went to get some dinner and after being on the receiving end of some pretty awful service, we left a miniscule tip which served to tell the waiter that he'd better buck up his ideas sunshine. I never liked the whole American tipping culture but I was glad to find a situation where we could put it to good use and give the waiter a metaphorical slap around the chops. Although he deserved a good knee to the nuts if you ask me.

It was starting to get a little late and dark and aware that I had to go back to the ghetto and visit me posse and me brothers on the Harlem/Manhattan border where my hostel was, I bid farewell to Graeme and Gareth and jumped on the subway to my hostel, deftly skipping in and out of the shadows in the way that only a white man in Harlem can do. (This is an exaggeration of course: my hostel was perfectly fine and the area seemed fine as well. But that doesn't make it as entertaining does it?)

When I got into my room, I found that one of my fellow roommates had left their wet towel and a well-chewed piece of chewing gum on my bed sheets. Grateful for the gift, I chucked the chewing gum out the window, knocked the towel on the floor and used it to wipe the muck off the soles on my shoes, which I was still wearing. Once I felt my shoes were sufficiently clean I kicked the towel into a murky corner of the room - hoping that the owner of the towel would manage to get the point I was trying to put across. To be honest he was lucky as I have been known to do worse things to towels belonging to those who wind me up. Feeling much more satisfied and my shoes much cleaner, I went for a shower, read a little bit more of my book and then turned in for the night, fully expecting to be wakened during the night by the screaming man and his newly soiled towel.

As if on cue, screaming man delivered his performances periodically throughout the night but sadly there were no comical Scandinavians on-hand to add to the fun. Our screaming man showed his versatility however by seamlessly moving from screaming man to loudly snoring man. Once I had decided I had heard enough snoring I waited for him to inhale one of his never-ending breaths and then aimed a kick through the mattress at what I hoped was his groin, but I would have been satisfied with a kidney, spine, nose etc etc. Following with an additional kick with my heel into vaguely the same area, screaming/snoring man remained silent for the rest of the night and I was able to fall into a contented sleep.

My Holiday - Part 4

2005-09-09T14:24:00.000Z

I was up early again on Monday in order to catch my train to New York but this time I was able to wake up of my own accord rather than having a crazy Japanese man attack me. Isn't it funny how it's so much easier getting up in the mornings when you have something to look forward to rather than getting up to go to work? The hostel was really hot though because of some English muppet who took exception to sleeping next to the air conditioner because it was too noisy and decided to turn it off without considering the rest of the room and how we'd all cook in the heat.

Anyway, after suffocating him with his pillow I finished packing my stuff and headed out into early morning Washington to catch the Metro to the train station. As I expected the Metro was busier during rush-hour but it wasn't bad and nothing compared to London rush-hour. I felt a little self-conscious with my big rucksack taking up precious standing space (and not a little hypocritical since one of my preferred rants is about foreigners getting the tube during rush hour with over-sized rucksacks) but I was very polite and stood out of the way as much as possible.

When I got to the station I made sure I knew where I was getting the train and then went to grab some breakfast. I had the first snifflings of a cold so along with my cooked breakfast I had a bottle of water, a bottle of orange and a giant cup of tea (which I later managed to drop and which splashed in an extravagant manner creating a rather spiffing mural on the floor).

I got my train and I must say that American trains are vastly superior to their British cousins. They have huge big seats to accommodate huge big Americans butts, huge big aisles to accommodate huge big American hips and tons of legroom to accommodate huge American tree trunk legs. So those people that say obesity has no benefits are looking a little silly now aren't they? Anyway, the train was pretty quiet and I had my pick of the seats so I sat back, spread myself liberally across the seats and enjoyed the ride.

The journey took about 4 hours and I couldn't tell you too much about it because I was planning my strategy for visiting New York. I was acutely aware that I only really had a day and a half and that I had a load of places that I wanted to visit, so I really had to make a list of places that I had to see and try and put them into some kind of logical order so that I had a good chance of seeing them all. Sadly, the product of my work was destroyed after I'd visited NYC in the interests of tidiness and weight saving so I can't recount for you the order that it took, but by the end of the journey I had formulated a plan which basically involved dashing off the train, jumping on the subway to the hostel, dumping my stuff, jumping back on the subway and starting my little mini-adventure at Times Square.

And that's pretty much what I did. I bought a subway ticket that I could use all day, travelled up to my hostel and ditched my stuff. The hostel seemed decent enough but the room (8 man dorm this time) smelled a little. I blamed it on the flip-flops of the guy who was in the bed above me so I moved them away from my bed but there was still a fairly pungent odour (or odor, as those crazy yanks like to misspell it). However, I didn't have time to waste curling my nose up at smelly shoes so I went back to the subway and made my way to Times Square.

I'd been trying to picture Times Square so that I knew what to expect but I couldn't - it's not like Piccadilly Circus or Trafalgar Square in my opinion - so when I stepped out of the tube station it was sort of vaguely familiar but it's not like I knew where I was or anything. I walked around a little bit marvelling at just how high the buildings were and tried to get my bearings a little.

Those of you who know me will be aware that I'm not blessed with a sense of direction that would rival , say, Sir Ranulph Fiennes so I was lucky to have a pretty good map of NYC that I constantly referred to and which seemed to work pretty well. While I was wandering around looking at street names and comparing them with my map, I spied the Chrysler building in the near distance and so in a disgraceful lack of discipline I ignored the chronological list of attractions I'd spent the previous 4 hours constructing and decided just to walk straight to the Chrysler building.

On my way there I passed Grand Central Station so I went in to see if there were any loonies wandering about that I could torment. It's a very pretty station so I spent a good 10 minutes playing with my camera trying to get it to take a good picture in the darkness of the station. I managed to get something approaching a reasonable picture but I think I need a bit more practice. But I was pleased that I went in because it was on my list of places to visit and I was able to tick it off the list (well, mentally tick it off because I don't carry a pen around with me everywhere) and move on to the Chrysler building.

Well, it's pretty big. And the roof is pretty shiny. But it's cool, and it's very New York and when you get down to it (and at the risk of stating the obvious), the whole reason of going to New York was to experience New York so it's fair to say that thus far it'd been a resounding success. I fired off a multitude of shots with my camera and was I aware that I was getting close to filling up my memory card (which, incidentally, holds around 200 pictures which I think is rather good) so I made a mental note to keep an eyes open for somewhere that would transfer my pictures to CD. Luckily, my eagle eye didn't fail me and I spied a little camera shop that did exactly what I wanted and I emerged, 10 minutes later, CD in hand and giving thanks to a country which makes the dreams of even immigrant Scotsmen come true.

Suitably energised I took a wander down to the UN buildings (which isn't actually in the US but is it's own little international territory dontcaknow?) and took some pictures of the sculptures around there and of course of the buildings as well. Then I went up to Fifth Avenue and went into St Patrick's cathedral to (a) have a look inside because I love looking inside churches and (b) have a seat because my feet were killing me. It's quite a nice church but it didn't feel particularly warm and welcoming. I'm not sure why I felt that way but it just seemed be full of tourists (i.e. me) wanting to see it and there were people taking pictures and talking and stuff, so you couldn't really feel the calm and tranquil atmosphere that you get in a lot of (dare I say it) European churches. But it provided a welcome rest for me so I shouldn't be so critical.

Having seen most of the stuff in mid-town that I wanted to see (except the Empire State Building but I wad hoping to see that the next day) I hopped on a subway train and took a trip down to see Ground Zero. I wasn't too sure what to expect and I wasn't even too sure if I should go and visit, part of me thinking it was a bit ghoulish to go visit somewhere where thousands of people had died, but my curiosity got the better of me so I went to see it. I could lie, and say that I felt obliged to go and pay my respects to the memory of the people that died in the terrorist attacks, but in reality I just wanted to see it and I can't explain it much better than that.

The scale of the area that had been flattened took me by surprise. I tried to imagine what it must have been like to be there during the attacks and I tried to imagine how much of the surrounding areas would have been affected by the dust and rubble that followed the collapse of the towers. I can't say too much about how I felt from visiting the site really. To me, it just seemed like a huge building site and because I never visited the city before the towers fell I didn't have anything to compare it to. But I knew that thousands of people had died in the very spot I was looking at so while I didn't feel particularly emotional I was able to acknowledge that it's an important site for a number of people. I hope they sort out their planning issues and manage to build a suitable replacement building but also find space for a fitting memorial garden because I think the relatives of the dead as well as the everyday citizens of NYC need a space where they can reflect and remember the people that died there.

Wall Street was pretty close to Ground Zero so I headed up there and got some pictures of the Stock Exchange as well as a pleasant church that was surrounded by huge buildings towering over it. Whilst I was outside the Stock Exchange I was hoping that a car would pull up and that Dan Ackroyd and Eddie Murphy would step out on their way to trade some frozen concentrated orange juice but sadly they never came. I did give some money to two homeless guys called Randolph and Mortimer Duke though.

Anyway, I was getting peckish having skipped lunch (except for a giant cookie) so I decided to see the rest of the sights on my list and then get some dinner. Next on the list was City Hall but once I got there I found that they'd blocked off the road so you couldn't get near it. I do think they've gone a bit overboard with the whole security thing really. I mean, the mayor of London gets the tube every day so maybe the New York Mayor should stop being so self-important and realise that nobody really wants to blow up City Hall, and even if they did, most of the rest of the world couldn't care less. In protest at not being able to get close to it I refused to take a picture and resolved to write a scathing attach on the mayor in my blog. That'll teach him.

Last on my list was the Woolworths Building which is in competition with another gothic building in New York (I'm not sure what the building is but I think it might be some local government building) for the title of my 'Favourite New York Building'. I got a few pictures and then went looking for somewhere to get a good dinner as a treat for my efforts that afternoon at sight-seeing - I saw pretty much everywhere on my list apart from the Guggenheim so I was rather pleased with myself. Luckily, New York was vastly superior to Washington in the dining stakes (or 'steaks'. Ho ho ho) and I found an Italian restaurant which looked pretty nice.

I was accosted by a rather beautiful waitress as soon as I entered and treated to a very nice meal (I don't remember exactly what I ordered but anyone who knows me will tell you that it was Spaghetti Bolognaise, and they'd probably be right too) which I devoured in a flamboyant manner and even managed to get some of it into my mouth. I took my time with my drink though and sat and read my book for a bit while I cooled down (it was still boiling hot and humid) and rest my weary legs. I didn't have anything to rush back for so I just took my time walking to the subway and getting back to my hostel. After the delights of the Washington Metro, the subway was quite a come down with its dirty furnace-like platforms and dodgy carriages. But it did the job and was relatively efficient, although I wouldn't want to be on my own on one of those platforms in a dodgy area at night with all those pillars for people to hide behind like in the movies.

When I got back to the hostel there were a couple of people in the room but they didn't seem to want to make too much of an effort to be friendly so I didn't bother trying to speak to them - I was too tired for small-talk anyway. I just lay on my bed reading, looking at my pictures and then went for a shower. By that time it was getting a bit late and I was ready for some sleep so after much pondering and weighing up of the many options available to me, I went to bed.

My Holiday - Part 3

2005-09-07T11:28:00.000Z

Sunday I was woken with a manic Japanese man lunging at me and telling me to wake up. Once I'd peeled myself off the ceiling it dawned on me that Japanese man had mistaken me for Slovenian man and been kind enough to provide a wake-up call. In a calm manner that impressed even me I thanked him for waking me up and suggested that he do the same to Slovenian guy which he promptly did. For a few moments I staggered around in the daze that accompanies being woken up before you're quite ready but made it downstairs to get some breakfast in the hostel dining area. I spied a free seat and sat down to be miserable on my own (I'm not a morning person) when a middle-aged American woman sat down next to me and proceeded to make small talk.

Usually the last thing I would want would be to sit down to breakfast with a loud American woman first thing in the morning, but she instantly won me over by displaying that she had a little more world exposure than your average American and by letting me know that Robin Cook (UK MP) had died which came as quite the shock but I was impressed that she knew who he was and grateful to her sharing the news, and in a softly-spoken manner as befitted the time of day. So I had a pleasant breakfast with her and she was telling me that she was leaving Washington early because she didn't like it at all, that it was impossible to get a meal and she was going to go to New York a few days early. Then my Slovenian friend came and joined us but he decided that since I was planning on spending most of the day in the Air and Space Museum that he couldn't really afford to spend the entire day there and he'd give the museum a miss.

So, I headed off to the museum in time for it opening and spent a few hours wandering around touching moon rocks, looking at replica of shuttles, rockets, landers and all sorts of space memorabilia. They had the Spirit of St Louis plane (I can't remember what it was famous for now, I think it was the first plane to fly the Atlantic), the Wright brothers plane (I know this one: it was the very first plane to achieve 'sustained powered flight') and all other aviation themed stuff that I can't really remember off the top of my head. I also went to the Imax cinema to see a movie about the creation of the Space Station which was cool but was unfortunately narrated by that diminutive twerp Tom Cruise. Finally, I went to the Planetarium which was pretty impressive since you sort of laid back in your seat and watched this movie which used the dome shaped roof as the screen.

After a passable lunch in the museum I still had the whole afternoon to spend exploring so I made a plan that I would go and see the Pentagon, then come back for Arlington Cemetery, the Iwo Jima Memorial and then if I had time I would go to the Old Post Office which had a tower that provided scenic views over the city.

I jumped on the Metro and let me state at this juncture that the Washington Metro, in my limited experience, is the finest Metro that I've ever used. The stations, certainly in the centre of the city are large spacious affairs with soft lighting and good air conditioning. The trains are nice and clean, never too busy (although rush-hour may be different), air-conditioned and appear to run pretty punctually. My only complaint is that I sometimes struggled to find the entrance to the place so passers-by would see a slightly puzzled Scotsman running backwards and forwards across the road in search of the entrance to a particular station.

Anyway, I jumped on the Metro and got off at the Pentagon stop. I was hoping to get a nice picture or two to illustrate the size of the place (because as we all know, it's the largest office building in the world) but the stupid thing was so large that it was impossible to get a decent picture of it. I toyed with the idea of climbing up onto the nearby freeway to get a picture from a higher vantage point but discarded that idea just in case some overzealous security guard came and arrested me for violating some obscure law, so I trudged back to the Metro not a little disheartened. But, I can say with some measure of authority that it's definitely a big building.

My next stop was at Arlington National Cemetery which, when you get down to it, is just a big graveyard. I had a pretty pleasant walk though up to JFK's grave (which appeared to be the main highlight) via Robert Kennedy's grave and then to the tomb of the Unknown Soldier. They were doing their changing of the guard thing and I was hoping they were going to do that thing where they stand in a line and swing their rifles around in a rather clever synchronised fashion but all they seemed to do was walk around in a military manner. They didn't even fire their rifles so I couldn't enjoy watching some of my older fellow travellers falling to the ground clutching their heart in shock. Most disappointing, but I got a nice view of the cemetery from the tomb and could even make out the Pentagon in the distance - it's a big building by the way.

After some internal debate, a lot of map reading and watch analysis, I decided that I could manage the walk over to the Iwo Jima memorial without dying in the heat (my trusty water bottle was working overtime) and in the end I was glad I did. It's quite a nice memorial with the American soldiers straining to raise the Stars and Stripes so I took a few photos to add to the bundle I was steadily acquiring. There was also a film crew there setting up a load of chairs and dummies (apparently they were extras but they didn't look very convincing to me!) in time for filming the next day. I can't remember the name of the film they told me but it was some American military thing and it had some Steven Segalesque name to it like "The Day of Destiny" or something.

So, pleased with my afternoon's work I walked back to the Metro and headed over to the Post Office tower to get some last pictures from Washington before heading back to the hostel.

Once back at the hostel I still had the issue of where to get a decent meal in downtown Washington. I couldn't face the sports bar again, the Slovenian guy had eaten at the Subway last night (and, it turned out, he ate at the Subway again that night) and I couldn't handle that either but luckily I stumbled across a rather nice Thai restaurant just a couple of blocks from the hostel and had a pretty decent meal there whilst reading my book (I can't sit in a public restaurant on my own unless I have a newspaper or a book or something to keep me amused).

And that was pretty much it for Washington. I went back to the hostel for a shower in preparation for an early start again the next day. Reflecting on the place, it's a bit of a strange city with no soul to speak of. It's good to look at and it's all very logical but it's a bit dull and with no character it's almost a little surreal. However I was glad to have seen it and experienced it and left with happy memories. Doubt I'll go back though!

My Holiday - Part 2

2005-08-31T19:54:00.000Z

I was up early on Saturday so that I could get my flight to Washington in time. This started a rather hectic part of the holiday where I basically had two days in each city and had to see as much as I could. I got a taxi out to the airport, got checked-in easily enough and was lucky enough to be able to clear US immigration in Toronto which would save me 30 minutes or so since I wouldn't need to do it once we landed in Washington. I was flying with United Airlines and the plane was really small which made it a little bit more exciting for me. It's a bit sad I suppose but I find it a bit glamorous flying with foreign airlines rather than the usual BA or BMI and it's cool having American air stewardesses and pilots. Our pilot was so laid back when he made his announcements that I was nice and relaxed for take-off. As we took off I was able to see the skyline of Toronto in the distance so I quickly grabbed my camera and in a flagrant flouting of the rules regarding using electronic equipment during take-off, I shot a few pictures of the skyline.

The plane flew pretty low in comparison to my flight from the UK so I was quite content to sit and look out the window and imagine what the people down below in their cars, houses and boats were up to in their own lives and I wondered if they were looking back up at me and wondering where I was off to and where I'd come from. It was a really pleasant flight.

As we landed at Dulles I remembered a rather poor TV movie I'd seen a few years ago which was a dramatisation of a plane crash at Dulles a while back. Someone had been there with a video camera and caught the whole incident on film. The plane appeared to be landing normally although they'd radioed in to say that they were having problems and as it landed it did the most spectacular cartwheel down the runway. When I got off the plane I looked back up the runway and I think I recognised the runway and trees behind it from the movie and I had the image of the plane crashing down the runway. Amazingly a number of people survived including a bunch of people who had been thrown from the plane and landed in some fields quite a distance from the airport.

We got on a bus to the terminal and the size of the airport astounded me. It must have taken 10 minutes to drive there and they were building a new terminal too - I can see why air travel and airports are so bad for the environment because there were hundreds of planes all over the place. Once I'd picked up my rucksack then it was straight to the express bus into Washington.

This trip was going to be a lot different to my other trips because I had guide books and plans and lists of places to visit. So I knew that there was an express bus from the airport to the Metro and that I could get the Metro to a few blocks down from my hostel rather than just wandering around aimlessly trying to figure out how to get anywhere which is my usual plan of attack. It made sense because I was so limited with time that I would need to make a list of places that I'd want to see.

So, I jumped on the bus which was driven by a Richard Pryor-from-Superman 3 look-and-sound-alike and he drove us to the metro. I then got the Metro to a couple of blocks south of my hostel as my directions had told me and wandered up to my hostel. At this stage, I should introduce the concept of my personal safety and how I was always a little worried about it when I was in these big cities. My guide book was full of entertaining titbits like "Take care in this area in the evenings" and "Travel in a group if at all possible" so you can imagine that I was a little on edge. In the end I would take a wander up a nicer street to the hostel so that I could avoid the homeless people hanging around. I'm sure if I was a true traveller I would be up there talking to them so that I could get a flavour of the 'real' Washington but in the end I was too scared and so tried to avoid anyone that looked vaguely dodgy. I also had the odd little vague nugget of information in my mind like 'Washington has the highest crime rate on the east coast" and regardless of whether it was true or not, it all made to put me on edge a little.

Anyway, I made it to the hostel without being viciously attacked and checked in. I dumped my stuff and given that it was getting past 1pm then I made a dash into town. I had a look at my map and saw that the FBI HQ was down at the bottom of my street so I took a wander down there to check it out. It didn't look very familiar but my guide-book made some quip about how it's the J Edgar Hoover building "but none of his dresses are on display" which made me chuckle. I doubt the book was written by an American. I took a few pictures and then saw the Capitol building in the distance and took a wander over to check it out. I was looking forward to seeing it because I always imagined it would be huge and while it was, it wasn't overly grand. It's a nice building though and kind of suits the whole American politics thing that they do. I walked down Pennsylvania Avenue which gave me a sort of smug feeling inside (many times during my holiday I would say to myself "I'm in Washington, or I'm in New York" and such like) and had a good old look at it.

It was roasting hot again and I had my bottle which in the end never left my side for the rest of the trip but I still walked around it taking an obscene number of photos. When I was walking around it I bumped into the Supreme Court and the Library of Congress and took a couple of pictures of them. The whole place was freakishly quiet though with hardly any traffic, and hardly any people come to think of it.

I could see the Washington Monument in the distance so after taking a few hundred pictures of it I decided I would walk down the Mall (The big long street which links the Washington Memorial with the Capitol Building) and check it out. The Mall is full of loads of museums and I could no doubt have spent the whole day in each and every one of them but because I only had 2 days then I decided I would give them all a miss apart from the Air and Space Museum which I would try and see tomorrow. I got down to The Castle on the Mall and popped into the gardens for a few pictures. It was a bit of a strange building because it didn't really fit in with the surroundings but it was quite pleasant and I think it's the oldest building in Washington. I could be wrong however.

The closer I got the monument, the more it was dawning on me that it was huge. A single brick isn't much smaller than an average sized guy and there are plenty of those bricks. Apparently they ran out of funds when they were building it and they stopped for a while before restarting a few years later. If you look about halfway up the monument then you can see the change in colour of the bricks where they started again. I also got my first glimpse of the White House and made a mental note to check it out on the way back. I wanted to wander down to the Lincoln Memorial and see that Washington Memorial reflected in the huge reflecting pool that they'd built but once I got down there there was no way that I could fit the monument in the pool - they need to make it a bit bigger if you ask me.

There was quite a nice war memorial though and the Lincoln Memorial was pretty cool too. I'm not sure if I'm totally in agreement with building these huge memorials to ex-presidents but I suppose the Americans are a patriotic lot and it was good to look at so I don't support I care too much.

I was definitely getting the impression that it wasn't the warmest of cities (in the human sense) with it's white buildings and everything all laid out symmetrically. It was impressive to look at but it didn't seem like a city that had been lived in. It was more of a monument really.

Anyway, I took a wander down to see the Vietnam Memorials that they had there. One had the name of every soldier that died in the war inscribed on it and given that over 50,000 Americans died during the war then it was a pretty big memorial. I was getting pretty jaded by this point and it was starting to get a little bit late but I wanted to see the White House. Once I'd done that then I could be pleased with my afternoon's work and head back to the hostel and then out for some dinner. The White House was pretty cool - everyone had told me that it's much smaller than you imagine but I thought it was pretty big with it's huge windows and stuff. There were a few protests going on round the back of the house and I saw the woman from Fahrenheit 9/11 who was talking to that woman who lost her son in Iraq. Actually, I'm not sure it that was at the White House or at the Capitol but I don't support it matters much.

Content with how much sightseeing I'd done I went back to the hostel to lie down for a bit and rest my weary feet. There was no one else in the dorm (12 people dorm) and I didn't think to go down to a common room or anything so I spent the whole day on my own. I suppose I had the nagging feeling in the back of my mind that maybe meeting people when you're travelling isn't that easy but I was too tired to care.

However, my stomach was telling me to get myself sorted out for some food so I dragged myself out of the hostel to go and find some food, and this is where Washington shows itself up since I really struggled to find somewhere to eat. In the end, and somewhat out of desperation I found a sports bar and got a bite to eat in there which wasn't too bad but I don't think I saw too many restaurants and the like when I was there.

Suitably filled up, I headed back to the hostel yet again and dodged the scary homeless people and there were a couple of people in my dorm. One, a Japanese guy from Hiroshima who was riding a motorbike around the US and whose grasp of English was about as good as my grasp of Japanese. I didn't really know how to react when he said he was from Hiroshima. Usually when someone tells you where they're from then you're full of questions about it but all I could really think to say to him was "Sorry" which would have been a bit silly. The other guy was from Slovenia and he spoke really good English so I chatted to for a while, asking about the revolution in the early 90's and stuff which I think impressed him. I told him I was going to go to the Air and Space Museum and he said he might come along with me. He also said to both of us (Me and the Japanese guy) that he struggles to wake up so if someone could wake him up then that'd be cool.

By that time it was getting late so I had a shower, planned my day for tomorrow and then hit the sack.

My Holiday - Part 1

2005-08-31T13:11:00.000Z

Yeah, so it's been a while since I last blogged and I don't really have a good excuse. But I'm going to give you a treat and let you know all about my exciting holiday to the USA and Canada that returned from a few days ago.

So, are we sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin...

I was up at 5:30am on the Tuesday to get the train to Gatwick for the flight at 11:45am. Why do we have to be at the airport so early??? I got to sit in the executive lounge which was OK, nothing fantastic. I did help myself to lots of biscuits though. I was flying with Air Transat which is a Montreal based company to Toronto for my friends wedding which was taking place on the Friday. I was going out early for the stag night on the Wednesday and the rehearsal on the Thursday. The flight itself was OK - I slept for a lot of it but then as we came into Toronto we seemed to be circling the airport for a while and our captain announced that there was a lot of thunder so we're going to try and ride it out to see if we could land. In the end, he announced that there had been an "incident" and we had to fly to Ottawa to sit it out over there. We didn't expect to be long but it ended up being 5 hours before we could take off again. The captain told us it had been a serious incident (although he didn't tell us exactly which it was) so I gave my mum a quick call to let her know I was OK because she'd worry if there was a plane crash at the airport I was heading for.

We waited more and more and I called the hostel to let them know I'd be late and they told me they'd leave a key out for me. I also managed to not kill the kids behind me who were kicking my chair -in fact their parents were more annoying because every time the kids did something they would bellow at the top of their voice to stop them. As you can imagine, I was a little uptight by this time but luckily my phone had a load of MP3s on it so I sat and listened to them and chilled out.

In the end, it turned out that a plane had skidded off the runway at Toronto but amazingly no one was hurt. We finally got going again to Toronto and landed at about 9pm Canadian time - a tad later than I was hoping to land. So, not a great start but I picked up my luggage (one of the last bags off the plane natch) , fought off a dodgy taxi driver, found another taxi driver to take my to the hostel, although he'd never heard of it so I had to give him my map.

Once I was there then I picked up my key and wandered into my room. As I opened the door my mate Graeme, who I was supposed to meet many hours earlier and who was also there for the wedding having arrived the day before screamed at the top of his voice, flew out of his slumber, uttered a few profanities and then let me know that he wasn't expecting me and that I'd given him a fright. Luckily I was so spaced out from my (23 hour) flight that I didn't get a fright from him launching at me like I'm some burglar! After such a stirring welcome I needed some food and because I was so desperate I broke one of my own rules and went straight to McDonalds. I can't stand the place but when you need some average sustenance then they're adequate. Finally, I went to bed around midnight.

On Wednesday I woke up at 6am - thanks to the joys of jetlag, but thankfully this was the last time I was to suffer from it since the rest of the holiday was so knackering.

I'd been to Toronto almost 10 years ago and so the likes of the CN Tower, Baseball stadium and Niagra Falls had all been done so we just ate breakfast at the hostel and then had a wander around town. Shameful really but after about an hour we were knackered so we headed to a shopping mall and had a nice cool drink - it was pretty hot after the UK. I also wanted to buy some sandals so had a wander around the shops and after discarding the utter nonsense that one salesman spoke I headed to another shop and got a nice Timberland pair which were nice and comfy for the trip - I was planning on doing a lot of walking and my trainers were too hot, my flip-flops too floppy. I also saw a hilarious pair of trainers which had gold wheels on the side. I was having a chuckle at them when a salesmen came and pointed out that when you walk then the wheels spin. He took my incredulous response as an expression of interest rather than that 'Your country is ridiculous' mood I was trying to evoke so I made a sharp exit.

We headed down to the CN Tower using the underground network of shopping streets which got my dreadfully confused (and Graeme too I reckon, but he wouldn't admit it!) and I took a few photos. It's pretty big and it's a great thing to have on the skyline - I like how it makes the city instantly recognisable. When we flew over Ottawa it could have been any old city but the CN Tower leaves you in no doubt that you're in Toronto - I liked that. We then went to Planet Hollywood for lunch which was pretty rank really. The food was hugely unhealthy (and for me, that's saying something), the place smelled a bit greasy and the memorabilia wasn't exactly jaw-dropping - a t-shirt worn by an extra in A Time To Kill and that sort of thing. One of the good things about Canada though was the quality of women and I spent a substantial part of my time there perving at the girls there. Well done Canada for such a good effort.

After downtown we headed back the hostel for the obligatory afternoon snooze before heading over to see Bryan (the condemned man) for his stag night. There were a bunch of other people there from my home town so it was a bit weird having all these Scottish accents in Toronto but it ended up being a fun night and nothing over-the-top happened. Of course I'm not going to write about it here but I can say with 40% certainty that the sheep wasn't harmed and that woman wasn't that much over 75 years old. And Bryan, I'm sure the torn tissue will heal over time.

Thursday involved waking up in a furnace of a hostel room. We had a room between the two of us which was luxury but sadly no air-conditioning, and for a Scotsman (albeit one living in England) in Canada, it's fair to say that it was pretty hot and rather humid. But one coldish shower later I was ready to go. We decided to push the boat out and the day before and after the wedding we decided to get a hotel so that we could change into our kilts in comparative luxury. So our task for the morning was to move our stuff from the hostel (which was very friendly - www.planettraveller.com) to our luxury hotel - the Day's Inn. It's fair to say that it wasn't luxury as hotel rooms go but it was very nice and it had air conditioning, and none of this sort of "yeah, yeah, here's a bit of coolish air to cool you down" but it was more of "YOU WANT COLD???? YOU CAN'T HANDLE COLD" so the additional blankets during the night were very welcome, as was the cold air - it was great!

So, our mission completed we headed out to the shops for a poke around and we went into this very nice record shop. When we were in there, it hit me. The theme tune from Bullitt was playing in the background and after 10 minutes in the shop I just felt really chilled out and it stayed that way until the end of the holiday. It was all the hassle of the weeks of work leading up to the holiday and the flight just disappearing and for the first time I truly felt like I was relaxing and could start enjoying the holiday. It was fantastic and that's what holidays should all be about. Even the nonsense later in the NYC hostel with the guy that yelled out in the middle of the night couldn't shake it.

Anyway, I told Graeme about my Zen like state and he surreptitiously shuffled away with a look of fear in his eyes and making a mental note to sleep in a different hotel that night but after a while he must have just decided that I was talking my usual nonsense and we headed back to the hotel where our next character was waiting having flown out from Edinburgh that morning.

Gareth completed the compliment of groomsmen (and ushers) for the wedding party and so we headed off to pick up our kilts. What should have been a five minute taxi (according to local boy Bryan) turned out to be a 150 mile epic.

Out kilts were ready and waiting for us and as I tried mine on I realised it was hanging down 'gangster-stylee' and it turned out that the measurements were incorrect. I won't bore you with the details of the story but after a wasted trip to Edinburgh to get measured for my kilt, I ended up getting a friend in London to do it. Out measurements were pretty good but my form filling in skills weren't as good and I ended up with a 36-inch waist instead of a 32. Luckily they had another in stock and all was well.

Once back at the hotel, we had our obligatory games of cards before heading off to the wedding rehearsal. Not much to report here except the 45 minute discussion about walking 5 metres down the aisle with up to 300 people offering their opinion at once. Throw in an American child who enjoyed screaming at the top of his voice (imagine loud in the same way that the CN Tower is big) and you can understand that my zen-like state was severely tested. But after an uncharacteristic outburst from Bryan something was agreed, although I couldn't tell you even now what it was. It didn't seem hugely complicated though and we were sure we could figure it out on the day. So, back to the hotel for a few games of cards and the building of a capsule to retain my body heat under the onslaught of the air-con and it brought to the end yet another day of my fast disappearing holiday time.

Friday was the big day. We'd agreed to turn up at Bryan's place at 2 ish which we foolishly thought gave us time to head to the Islands where you can play Frisbee Golf and get a rather pleasing view of the city. In the end we didn't get up until 10ish or so, so we only had time to sort out our train tickets for our onward trip and grab a (huge) breakfast before getting back the hotel.

Sadly we weren't in out kilts when we made our way over to Bryan's so we couldn't lap up the girls throwing themselves at us. I'd like to say that I'm not bothered but even now, almost a month after the event I cry myself to sleep whilst pondering missed opportunities.

Anyway, once we got to Bryan's we hopped in the bride's dad's car, since he was taking us to the venue and he entertained us all the way there but pointing out yellow cars and singing a song as we went under a bridge. It was great fun.

Once at the venue we somehow got roped into tying some netting around the alter type thing ("In a billowing style") and after wresting with it for a few hours with no apparent end result and incurring the ridicule of all the women at our ineptitude and all the men at our gayness we managed to redeem ourselves by doing some heavy lifting from the car to the venue.

Finally, it was time to get changed into our kilts and we all looked great. We carried out our Usher and Groomsman duties with aplomb despite not really knowing what we were doing. The ceremony was really nice - serious when it had to be and laid back when appropriate and I came away from the whole thing feeling very happy for Bryan and Dee.

We all got a school bus back to the hotel (somehow managing to screw up going with some drunk fit girls to a party) and I got ready for my flight out the next day. I was off to Washington on my own, leaving Graeme and Gareth to see more of Toronto and I have to admit I was a little nervous.

I had enjoyed Toronto - I hadn't done too much there and hadn't seen very much but it was nice and chilled out and I imagine a nice place to live. I would be back in Canada later on in the trip so it wasn't a farewell but merely an adios (although I don't really know what that means).

So, that's enough for one entry - more to follow.

I'm still here

2004-11-29T17:19:00.000Z

Gday, been a while since I updated this, but such is life.

I'm just back from Venice. I'd only been away for 2 days (should have been 3, but more on that later) but it's totally got the juices flowing for my travelling extraordinare that you devoted readers have been following with me. I only got back this afternoon but have been digging deep into my China book with the intention of making a list of all the places I want to go to. After about an hour at it, my list reads as follows:

Tibet, Dandong (North Korea), Terracotta Warriors, Great Wall.

And that's it - I got a tad distracted and was reading all the stuff at the beginning of the book about China and travelling in China in general. What a mad place - there is so much to do and so much to prepare for. I'd probably have been better just gathering a load of money up, buying a flight there and worrying about it when I got there but now I've got an idea of what's facing me so I really should prepare for it. Here is a brief taster of what I've been learning over the last hour:

- The temperature ranges from -20c to 30c
- 9 of the worlds 10 most polluted cities are in China
- Female infanticide is still common practice in many parts of China due to the One Child policy introduced to control the size of the population, and due to the overwhelming desire of Chinese families to have a son instead of a daughter. Apparently this is causing a massive imbalance in the sexes of China
- Many Chinese believe that Western music consists of The Carpenters, Kenny G and Lionel Ritchie due to the limited airtime given to Western Music
- Some of the health risks I can expect range from altitude sickness, hypothermia and heat exhaustion to Polio, TB, Typhoid, Hepatitis A & B and Rabies. I gave up on reading the rest of this section...
- "China has some really wicked loos" - I assume they mean wicked as in "evil", rather than wicked as in "well cool"
- Single foreign men in hotels can expect to get phone calls every 5 minutes from prostitutes offering their services.

That, along with some of the horrific practices concerning animal welfare await me. But hey, I wanted to see the world so this is a good place to start.

One thing I've learned since coming back from Venice is that you really need to make an effort to learn some of the language. This may be easier said than done but I felt a bit of a muppet in Italy when having to ask them to speak English in their own country and not understanding even the most basic Italian phrases. That, along with the embarassment of muttering 'Grazi' in a pathetic accent was enough to convince me to try and learn at least a few words, phrases and pronunciations, if only to make people think I've at least made an effort.

I think I'll check out some books and see if it's the sort of thing you can learn from a book, and I'll try and see if I can do some evening classes to learn it. It's a bit tricky with my job, but perhaps I could do a Saturday morning course or something instead.

Anyway, I guess the next step is to make a better effort at trying to get some kind of itenary together and find out what I need to do to be able to do it, like arrange visas, find out about accomodation etc. My current thinking is around Novemeber next year so I'll need to be careful about where I go to, since I don't want to be checking places out in the freezing cold.

As a totally irrelevant aside, I'm listening to some Internet radio at the moment. I don't know about you, but I just love foreign radio and tv stations. I'm not sure why, probably the excitement of listening to people on the other side of the world, but this is what I'm listening to at the moment : http://www.fm971.com.ar/conjunto.htm. Click on the En Vivo button to share in my excitement!

That's all for now - I'll update this as and when I make some sort of progress.

More ramblings...

2004-09-02T10:52:00.000Z

I have been thinking about the holiday lately.

I've finally managed to complete the sale on my flat and moved in last week - so that's one major headache I don't need to worry about. I also finish my current assignment at work at the start of October, so will have more time to spend thinking about itineraries and such like. Hopefully we'll see more updates to this blog from then.

It's going to be a bit difficult with the flat, but I'll need to try and work something out. I think I need to have someone to live in it while I'm away because I don't think my bonus for work is going to support me for very long, and I won't be able to pay the mortgage and travel at the same time. I think finance is going to be the main problem cos I'll have to pay the mortgage on the flat and I don't think I can rent it out for as much as the mortgage is, which makes things difficult.

But I have to overcome these little problems cos I'll totally regret it if I don't go.

I've also been thinking that I should maybe try and get some work with my current employer in Australia. They have a Sydney office that does a decent amount of IT work, I have no ties really apart from the flat, and if I was working there then they'd pay for me to stay in a hotel or apartment in the same way I'm doing at the moment on my current assignment (I have a flat that work paid for - very nice it is too). Only problem is that there isn't much work out there at the moment. If I was able to work out there though, I could rent my place out and save loads each month. Then I'd have plenty of cash to go travelling and could launch my trip in Oz. I'll need to see how feasible it is, but it'd be cool if it all worked out.

Either way though, I reckon I'll only manage a sabbatical for 6 months. To be honest, I'm slightly regretting not just taking the money from my house sale and going off travelling with that, but I'd probably regret it when I got back since i'd struggle to find somewhere to live and wouldn't be able to afford somewhere to buy. At least now I know when I get back I'll have somewhere to come back to, but it probably means I'll not manage to go away for as long as I'd hoped. But who knows - I might find that 6 months is plenty long enough - especially since I'm only planning to do China and North Korea. I might do Japan, Thailand and Australia if I fancy it, but it's not something I'm planning at the moment.

I keep having to push the date back a bit though which is a bit awkward. I don't suppose I have to, but realistically, I'll only get my bonus in April, which is when I'll have a clear idea of where I can go and for how long based on how much money I have. So I have to book it all, arrange for my sabbatical (which is really only a phone call) and arrange for my flat to be rented out while I'm away, which will take around a month I guess. Then we're into the peak summer period, which is when China is meant to be heaving with tourists and not really recommended as the best time to go. So I suppose I'm looking at early autumn at the earliest.

But....if I manage to get work in Oz, then things totally change. I'd really only manage to go travelling in Oz during the weekends and maybe a week or so holiday from work that I can take so I'd want to spend a decent amount of time out there to check the place out. Which could feasibly take me into 2006. But if I managed to rent my place out during that time, then I'd save shedloads of cash and could do a proper trip - starting in Oz by checking out all the bits I never managed to see and then heading to NZ for a month and then up to China for however long I can manage. Sounds good to me.

We'll need to see what happens - it all depends on whether I can get work in Oz and whether I get a decent bonus or not. I'm not crazy about renting my flat out but it would save me a load of cash.

Watch this space...

The world becomes a lot smaller

2004-08-05T13:52:00.000Z

Right, first up is a little housekeeping.

A friend of mine has recently starting blogging and I highly recommend his entertaining writing style. So may I introduce Mr Gareth Brown, Daily Express reader and KISS fan extraordinaire. He was good enough to mention me in his blog and in true you-scratch-my-back-and-I'll-scratch-your-back style, I'd like you to visit him at afterlife13.blogger.com. Tell him I sent you and you may well get a free Double Decker or something (and I can virtually guarantee that the subject of chocolate will appear in his blog before long).

Now, back to more pressing matters of world travel and generally uprooting a perfectly comfortable, if predictable lifestyle.

Since my last blog entry a few years ago, I've done a little more reading up on possible destinations and that, coupled with one TV programme in particular, and one conversation with my acupuncturist (long story - will explain later) has made me decide to refine my journey so much that it's far too ridiculous to even dream of calling it a world trip.

Basically the more I read about China, the more I recognise that there is so much to do there and because it's such a vast country that I could spend my whole trip there if I wanted. A brief browse through the Lonely Planet guide to China (which, incidentally I will be receiving from my very kind brother and his family as a birthday present (which, incidentally is on the 12th August for those of you saving your pennies to buy me a present)) shows you that you can go to deserts, jungles, snow capped mountains for ski-ing and pretty much everything else in between (and no, I didn't just look at the pictures!). It has half of Mount Everest in it for goodness sake, and it's the 3rd largest country in the world after Russia (or whatever it's called nowadays) and Canada. And, as we all know, it has the largest population in the world at 1.1 billion. (Although I'm more impressed with India which has 900 million people but squeezes them into a land mass about a 3rd of the size of China). So, basically what I'm saying is that China is big, and I'd like to see lots of it, which will take some time. So I think I would be doing the country a disservice were I to visit it for 2 weeks as part of a world trip and claim to have been there. Very noble of me I'm sure you'll agree.

Now I know you're all on the edge of your seat wonder how the acupuncturist fits into all of this, like it's some kind of game of Cluedo ("I have deduced it was the acupuncturist, with an oversized needle, in the Buddhist temple") but it's a little bit dull. Basically she went to China in 1984 for a few months and stayed there for 6 years or something. Hearing her talk about the people and the culture just made it much more real for me though and made me decide that I had to see it, and as much of it as possible while it's still relatively unwesternised (for whatever term of relative you think appropriate).

So, we're off to China. Good. Lets take a look on the map and see where it is. Blimey, it's a big old place isn't it. And what's this bit hanging off the edge of it? Oh look - it's Korea. Handily split into North and South, with North on the border with China.

See, I have an interesting attraction to North Korea. I think it's the last closed country on the planet (but feel free to correct me on this). They just do their own thing and don't really care what the rest of the world thinks. Don't get me wrong, I'm disgusted by some of the things the regime does there - I've heard stories of babies being stood upon right after they've been born and killed in front of their mother. All because her father (that's 2 generations from the baby) did something or was suspected of doing something against the regime. Not exactly a regime that you're going to grow to love. But it's hard to deny that it's not a dull country, and any country which excludes disabled people and animals from it's showcase capital is a country worth knowing more about if you ask me.

You may be surprised to learn (as I was) that it's not as closed as you may think. It's reasonably easy to visit, as long as you travel everywhere with a government minder and arrange the visit through the North Korean Travel Agent (or whatever they're called - I guess it's their version of Lunn Poly). Apparently it's not cheap but to see North Korea as it is now (imagine - no McDonalds, anywhere!! - what bliss) is something worthwhile doing, in my opinion.

A few weeks ago, whilst watching the highbrow channel for highbrow people, BBC4, there was a programme on which I joined around halfway through (since I was busy doing other highbrow stuff). It appeared to be following a North Korean family but you got to see a lot of the capital and the day to day life there. It also went into the regime and how they run the country. In one of the nice coincidences in life, the people that made the documentary for the BBC actually run a company which runs tours to NK. You can check out their web page at www.koryogroup.com. They run a number of different tours from Beijing and everything is paid for except your drinks. You get a British tour guide who understands the country (apparently) and basically all the hassle is taken out of it. Considering I'm a virgin traveller (!) then it's good for me since I'd be likely to cause a diplomatic incident if I was let loose in NK.

So, I hope that's brought us all up to date on where we are. It's not only going to be China and NK, but I think I'll be sticking to Asia, Oz and New Zealand. All the other places will need to wait until I save more money to do them.

Some more info

2004-07-09T11:22:00.000Z

I've spent the last couple of days doing some research which I'm going to try and summarise here.

But first a little bit of background:

There are some things that I can do now, such as get an idea of where I'd like to go and an idea of how much it'll cost, but there are other things that I really can't sort out until later in the year, or early next year.

The reason for this is that I've just bought a flat and so I'll need to figure out what to do with that while I'm away. And since I'll be paying my mortgage as well, then I'll find it difficult to save up money to pay for my trip.

So, I think my vague idea was something along the lines of waiting until April until I get my annual bonus from work (which could well cover the whole trip) and then I can decide how long I can go for and how much money I'll have to live off.

I could probably work in Oz however to get some more funds together, either doing bar work (crummy pay, but get to meet lots of people (incidentally, one of my greatest fears about this trip is that I spend 12 months on my own with no other human contact - I always like other peoples company)), or I could get some temping work in an office (better pay, but I'm going travelling to get away from office work, although I suppose you get to meet lots of people that way too).

Anyway, lets forget about money for the time being and look at what would be the ideal for me.

The following places are a 'Must see':

Hong Kong
Tokyo
Sydney
Adelaide
Melbourne
Wellington
Beunos Aires
Seattle
Vancouver
Montreal
Toronto

and these places are a 'Nice to see if you're sort of nearby':

Dubai
Shanghai
Beijing
Jakarta
Bangkok
Cairns
Alice Spring
Christchurch
Rio
Lima

I think I'd like to go for 9-12 months and see as much as possible in that time, but without making me so tired that I can't appreciate it.

After playing with the AirTrek Round the World Planner, I came up with this itinerary:

London - Athens - Dubai - Hong Kong - Shanghai - Bangkok - Cairns - Adelaide - Melbourne - Wellington - Christchurch - Sydney - Buenos Aires - Rio de Janeiro - Lima - Grand Cayman (Cayman Islands) - New Orleans - Seattle - Vancouver - Montreal - London

which came to around USD7000 (it's a US site).

But it's becoming clear to me that to do everywhere I want to do is going to be a bit of a squeeze. 2 weeks in each place doesn't sound too bad, but perhaps I'd like to take it a little bit slower. After a conversation with a mate of mine, I realised that there's no reason why I couldn't do two RTW trips. So my current thinking is that I could do one trip next year which would encompass the Middle East, Asia and Oz and then at some time in the future I could do the Americas. Of course, I might have to change the designation of trip from 'Round the World' to 'Round bits of the Middle East, Asia and Oceania' which doesn't quite roll of the tongue as well but that's a minor point.

Again, I've found the bootsnall site very useful

Two of the most useful bits I've found to alleviate some of my fears are the Profiles section and the Travelogues section.

The profiles section was useful because it has profiles of people that are going RTW in the next few months and those that have been. They're all a very varied bunch but they tell you how much money they've saved (some bloke had USD150,000 so if you find him then stick close to him if you need bailing out) but others had USD1000 to do Asia and Oz. You see, it's never been very clear to me how much cash I would need to live off. A friend did South and Central America for 9 months on around UKP5000 but that involved sharing rooms with rats and other varied animals. I'm not desperate for that... Anyway, the profiles section is a worthy read.

The travelogues section is useful because you read about guys who have been there and done it and as well as totally getting you in the mood for going, you realise that it's really quite easy to do, just a bit daunting to start with. These people meet other people easily and just do their own thing when they want to as well.
To be honest, I don't think my fears about meeting people really have any solid basis. The money worries are maybe more serious but I think with the good planning and budgeting then I can manage them.

One other link - the forums. They cover all sorts of topics that can be very useful - one was about what to do with your car when you go, which I'd never though about. Although, now that I have thought about it, I'll see if any of my friends want a car to run around in for a while, or if my brother wants it or something.

OK, I think this post is quite enough for one day, but I'll leave you with a link to a fellow blogger who started blogging on the same day as me. I can just see that his site is going to be worth a read since he's an 18 year old with some 'interesting' opinions.

Some links

2004-07-06T21:50:00.000Z

Well, it seems that blogger doesn't have a nice way to add links so here is an additional post with some of the useful links I've found and a brief description as to why they might be useful.

Depending on how long I go, I'll need lots of money:
http://www.bootsnall.com/rtw/budget.shtml

Some general stuff on RTW trips, and also the site I pinched the front page quote from:
http://www.bootsnall.com/rtw/rtwguide.shtml

Some blogs from people currently in the middle of RTW trips:
http://www.toorista.com/en/travelogues_travel_blogs/round_the_world_trips/

I've been playing with this site, and trying to get a vague idea of where I might go. This trip would cost around UKP1900 (for the airfare), or UKP100 per destination, which sounds remarkably good value if you ask me. Shame it's such a long link, so i've cut it down to just the main domain url:
http://www.travelbag.co.uk/roundworld/

My first ever blog

2004-07-06T16:27:00.000Z

Considering I'm an IT sort of person then I should really have had one of these blogs going long before now, but I never really had a decent topic that I thought anyone would be interested in.

However, lately I've been considering dropping everything, and enjoying a good long spell of travelling, probably because:
(a) I feel it's something that I'd like to do before I settle down
(b) I'm starting to get fed up with this mundane 9-5 business
(c) A lot of people have left work recently - some of them to do the travelling 'thing'
(d) I've done a tiny little bit of it before and rather enjoyed it.
(e) Like most people approaching 30 (although it's still a long way off for me!), I fancy a change of scene.

So, now I have a topic I can write about! Hopefully I'll be disciplined enough to update this often enough so that it'll detail all the steps I go through before I set off. And as an added bonus, it can also serve as my travel diary for people to look at while I'm away and keep up to date with what I'm up to (if they care, which they'd better...)

I'm come across a few links that I've found quite handy, so I'll post them, either in a future post, or if there are any special options available on blogger.com.

Finally, I aim to make this as pretentious as possible, hence the title. It came about by use of altavista's translation tool and my weakness for the italian language. The quote/subheading was something I stumbled across on one the sites I'd been on and I've decided to shamelessly steal it since I think it looks better on my blog.

Well, that's my first ever post - let's hope it's the first of many.